Search For
 

 
Discussion Groups: The Lounge


Topic: Common courtesy... or lack thereof...
1 Like(s)   


Page1 2Next>
Fliss195

8/10/2012 11:34:01 AM
Member since:
Jan 2010
Total posts:8
Common courtesy... or lack thereof...

I have to wonder how it got to the point where most people seem to forget a basic please or thank you? I've really noticed a decline in people's courtesy towards each other, and I'm not going to deny that it bothers me to no end. I took on a summer position working at a full-serve gas station in order to pay for school, and the number of people lacking basic manners stuns me. The number of people who voluntarily say please or thank you is extremely low, and I have to wonder why.  
 
Now I realize there will be many responses saying 'I always make sure to say please and thank you', or something defending the lack of manners due to my place of employment, but it isn't just here that it happens. You go through the drive-through of Tim Horton's, McDonald's, Wendy's, etc... it's a rare occurrence to hear a please or thank you at the window. Most of the time, the person at the window just sticks their hand out for money, or looks at you blankly.  
 
Brandon is a small city, and there is a good chance that we will encounter the same people on a fairly regular basis. Would it kill us to take 2 extra seconds to make that encounter slightly more pleasant?

 
 
  Advertisement
 
braid

8/10/2012 11:46:24 AM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:5357
Probably

Well....probably because Please & Thank you are supposed to be taught to little ones by parents.... who weren't taught by their parents ? ?...one thing they can't blame on the school system. lol  
I have actually said "You're WELCOME" very pointedly when people forget to say thank you. Just my sarcastic nature.

Silentis

8/10/2012 12:14:44 PM
Member since:
Jan 2012
Total posts:42
..

I always say please and thank you. Also I tend to say "Have a good day" and smile. My parents have taught me that manners are great to have, and it makes you feel good. If people don't say please or thank you, to me, I still remain pleasant.

Tarry

8/10/2012 12:25:16 PM
Member since:
Feb 2011
Total posts:1486
I do too

My parents taught me manners and what gets me is when you happily open a door for some people, wave someone ahead in traffic or let them pass you in an aisle all for their benefit and they just glare at you. I just let it go, as I find the social nature of people quite humourous.  
 
Keep a smile on your face, people.  
 
 
 

courtneydm88

8/10/2012 1:19:24 PM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:19
..

I am an employee at Tim Hortons and it is part of our training to thank the costumers for coming into the store and through our drive thru. If you didn't get a thank you, you should mention something to a manager. Personally, I love my job and like to greet and thank our costumers, so hopefully you have better experiences in the future!

west

8/10/2012 1:26:25 PM
Member since:
Oct 2011
Total posts:1102
You are Welcome!!

thats another phrase u hardly ever hear anymore...at most you get''yuup''in response when a customer says ''thank you''.Not a major thing...other things that are common now but never in the past...spitting on the sidewalks...now even girls do it proudly...wearing of hats in the house,in the bar,in the presence of a lady,or at the table...if you wore a hat in the Legion...you had to buy a round for the house!...the ''f''bomb being used proudly in front of elders,ladies and even grandmothers...by men and now by women...the lack of please and thankyous...the treating of elders with respect....like i say,nothing that is earth shattering...its just sad to see...and its not the kids fault...obviously we as parents have not instilled this in our children....

NA

8/10/2012 1:51:35 PM
Member since:
Apr 2011
Total posts:143
Totally agree...

One of my biggest pet peeves is lack of manners. It is so bad that I take it personally and try to correct people even though it isn't my role in society to be Mr. Manners.  
 
At a till when the transaction is complete I say 'thank you'. All too often the young person standing there ignores me or simply says 'ya'. When TF did 'ya' become an acceptable response to 'thank you'.  
 
When this happens now I stand there. When they acknowledged me and wonder why I haven't moved I repeat 'thank you'. Sometimes they then say 'you're welcome' but other times they simply look confused. For these people I say 'when someone says thank you the proper response is your welcome'. Most will apologize to a degree and say 'your welcome' at this point.  
 
Twice so far I've just been stared at blankly even at this point. I asked for the manager. Once the manager was called where I explained my situation and they seemed to care...the other time the response was 'I am the manager'.  
 
lol...you know you're getting old when you start saying to yourself...'things aren't what they used to be'.  
 
Relax everyone...these young people are our future...we're in good hands.  
 

DerekButtery

8/10/2012 1:56:06 PM
Member since:
Apr 2011
Total posts:756
:(

'common' courtesy, just like 'common' sense is not common at all!  
 

NA

8/10/2012 3:29:04 PM
Member since:
Aug 2011
Total posts:54
I must say

  
Ashy said "One of my biggest pet peeves is lack of manners. It is so bad that I take it personally and try to correct people even though it isn't my role in society to be Mr. Manners.  
 
At a till when the transaction is complete I say 'thank you'. All too often the young person standing there ignores me or simply says 'ya'. When TF did 'ya' become an acceptable response to 'thank you'.  
 
When this happens now I stand there. When they acknowledged me and wonder why I haven't moved I repeat 'thank you'. Sometimes they then say 'you're welcome' but other times they simply look confused. For these people I say 'when someone says thank you the proper response is your welcome'. Most will apologize to a degree and say 'your welcome' at this point.  
 
Twice so far I've just been stared at blankly even at this point. I asked for the manager. Once the manager was called where I explained my situation and they seemed to care...the other time the response was 'I am the manager'.  
 
lol...you know you're getting old when you start saying to yourself...'things aren't what they used to be'.  
 
Relax everyone...these young people are our future...we're in good hands.  
 
"

I know, I'm once again off topic (sorry), but I've been meaning to tell you that I enjoy every single one of your posts. Thank you for making me smile  
And to all of Ebrandon, have a wonderful weekend!

NA

8/10/2012 3:55:48 PM
Member since:
Apr 2011
Total posts:143
Thanks Jex...

I guess it feeds my narcissism. It also gives me hope since I'm usually alone in a crowd when I stand my ground. At least on here it reaffirms that people feel as I do even if they're not willing to stand beside me.  
 
Righands can do no wrong after all...lol.  

Tamara79

8/10/2012 5:24:29 PM
Member since:
Apr 2007
Total posts:2068
ugh

I agree, there seems to be a lack of manners and common courtesy everywhere. For the most part, I always try and stay polite and courteous no matter who I am dealing with, I was taught the more unpleasant/rude someone is-the better your manners should be However the one thing that really bothers me, is when my very well mannered 2 year old uses his manners with adults and they ignore him or dont respond in kind, thats when the snippiness comes out and I have to tell him not everyone uses their manners as well as he does-in front of the person treating him like that.

Hackeda

8/10/2012 5:52:48 PM
Member since:
Nov 2007
Total posts:2713
Sincerity lost

By the time I say and hear please and thank you all day every day, I am tired of it. I don't care for an over abundance of insincere manners. Please is used primarily when someone wants something. I'm tired of people wanting something from me. The thanks-you's are usually just said as a courtesy (which is fine, yeah-yeah) but very seldom actually sincere.  
 
I can't count the times I've told someone "THANK YOU" only to get a reply of "You too". Um, were you listening to me? Do you comprehend English? I said thank you. I didn't say have a nice day. Thank you is normally replied to with you're welcome...which of course is usually insincere anyway.  
 
I do still have and use the manners I was taught. I'm just tired of the insincere niceties.  
 
When I say thank you to someone, I try to look the person in they eye and say it so they know I mean it and it's not just a taught manner. If someone holds a door for me, I will normally say "Thank you. I appreciate that you took the time to hold the door for me" or something along those lines.  
 
I am not upset (usually) when people withhold their please and thank you's. I am usually surprised when I experience a sincere gesture though and go the extra step to show my appreciation for the sincerity.  
 
That's just my take on it - after another week full of well-mannered but insincere people.

Daphne

8/10/2012 6:44:15 PM
Member since:
Apr 2011
Total posts:986
Me too

  
braid said "Well....probably because Please & Thank you are supposed to be taught to little ones by parents.... who weren't taught by their parents ? ?...one thing they can't blame on the school system. lol  
I have actually said "You're WELCOME" very pointedly when people forget to say thank you. Just my sarcastic nature. "

Unfortunately the people I say it to are too ignorant to even catch on.

Daphne

8/10/2012 6:50:53 PM
Member since:
Apr 2011
Total posts:986
Just to add another comment

Please don't just blame the youth. I work with the public and I actually find the seniors are almost worse. I guess they have forgotten everything their parents taught them.

saltnpepper

8/10/2012 8:41:13 PM
Member since:
Jul 2012
Total posts:405
No problem

As a customer, I hate it when I say thankyou to the cashier, and they say no problem.

Atyaugh

8/10/2012 8:48:28 PM
Member since:
Mar 2011
Total posts:934
Manners

I'll admit, when I am really stressed and in a sour mood, my manners tend to just fly out the window. Which is certainly no excuse. But for the most part, I always try to be courteous and use my manners. It's just the way I was raised.  
 
Though, my line of work is a very thankless one, being that I work in the health care industry. I always say thank you to my patients after I take their blood. Occasionally, I'll get a thank you from the patient. In fact, I had to laugh a few days ago when I drew blood from an elderly patient. When I was finished, she smiled and thanked me. Then she paused for a moment, and said "I don't know why I just thanked you for being a vampire". Lol. I mean, sure, she called me what is considered a "derogatory" term in my profession, but I appreciated the thank you and even left with a "you're welcome".

Just_sayin

8/10/2012 9:02:11 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:130
I have to disagree :)

I've found many employees very pleasant, and I don't expect a please or thank you, because if they are pleasant enough to serve me, why does it matter? I've had many waiters, etc, still use their manners and still seem like they hate their job. I just simply don't tip those individuals if they make me feel like I'm a pain in the a$$.  
To all employees who work long hours and have to put up with a lot of rude customers, keep up the good work! I couldn't imagine working with hundreds of different people everyday, all day, and still having to be pleasant with with even the rude ones who expect a "please", and " thank you". Your doing a great job!!

Just_sayin

8/10/2012 9:04:31 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:130
Also

It couldnt hurt for a customer to be just as pleasant

DarrellSitter

8/10/2012 9:35:10 PM
Member since:
Nov 2011
Total posts:5
Granddaughters manners

My 4 year old granddaughter has been taught her manners very well. She always says please and 'thank you. Many older people notice and comment about her good manners to which she always says. "I have good manners and am very polite. Thank you"  
 
She has bben taught well and always admonishes people who do not have "good manners"

traveller

8/10/2012 10:27:57 PM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:9048
>

i have found many people in westman have good manners, from smiling at strangers, holding the door and saying thank you, i guess i'm lucky

NoCares

8/10/2012 10:30:35 PM
Member since:
Jan 2009
Total posts:2798
.

My son and I thanked every person we dealt with today, so common courtesy isn't lost, just hidden BTW, my son is 5, and I make sure he says his pleases and thank yous before and after getting things.

Mydogsnores

8/11/2012 7:59:50 AM
Member since:
Oct 2009
Total posts:357
also

there are a lack of "you're welcome", which irritates my husband to no end. I have encountered many young children that haven't a clue when to say "Please, thank you, you're welcome" in a situation when they are called for. We are teaching our 3 year old on a daily (and tiresome)basis when to say all 3 of those phrases, so he knows that life isn't handed to you on a silver platter, and it's not your right to get things just given to you. My other children have been indoctrinated the same way.

Sandy

8/11/2012 8:10:22 AM
Member since:
Nov 2006
Total posts:9109
Courtesy

My aunt and uncle were visiting from Australia....he commented that the phrase 'you're welcome' was a new one he'd hadn't heard.  
 
Canadians in general are a polite people...I've found that in my travels.  
 

Amused

8/11/2012 8:49:54 AM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:3496
Please and Thank You

Fliss195 ~ you are correct ~ a huge number of people do not use the words please and thank you when ordering or receiving services/materials/food. It is my opinion, they feel they are paying therefore, they do not have to.  
 
Our children were taught manners right from the beginning when they were learning to speak. I believe in using manners because those that are providing a service deserve respect. They are also assisting me and I appreciate their assistance.  
 
The thing that I find amusing is when I am entering a building, it is usually the one that could scare the daylights out of someone that holds the door for me yet the one that is well dressed that just continues on their way.

kärlek

8/11/2012 8:55:01 AM
Member since:
Aug 2011
Total posts:203
you're right.

The beauty of this is you can be the change, set an example. Going the extra mile can have a stronger impact then one may realize..  
 
Smile, we'll smile back

Zara

8/11/2012 7:09:19 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:361
I always say please and thankyou

and am sometimes put off when it is not responded to in a way I would hope, but when some people do take the time to show their appreciation of my comment, I feel so good I just say "what the heck I'm just going to keep complementing".

Brenda..

8/11/2012 7:13:31 PM
Member since:
Jul 2005
Total posts:9420
::

In today's world, I would be quite happy if clerks would quit texting while serving me. You are at work, put the phone away.

Hackeda

8/11/2012 8:46:12 PM
Member since:
Nov 2007
Total posts:2713
Have to agree!!!

  
Brenda said "In today's world, I would be quite happy if clerks would quit texting while serving me. You are at work, put the phone away. "

Greet me as I walk in, ask me if I need help and whatever your friends are texting to you, can wait until you're on break or off the clock.

Humphrey

8/11/2012 8:52:13 PM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:590
Personally,

I feel the younger the person the greater the lack of manners present. There are always exceptions to the rule, but as a whole, this up and coming generation is quite useless to society on many levels; manners being only one issue. Imagine the current youth teaching an even younger generation and envision the future.

sammy

8/11/2012 9:03:59 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8207
...

i must be going to the wrong stores. or the right ones i guess haha. i dont think i have ever seen an employee on their phone, except at MTS. if anything, i always seem to get the staff who must be working on commission as they will never leave me alone!! LOL. i prefer to just shop and browse and if i need help i will come find you. dont even get me started on the whole spiel that the tim hortons workers have to go through before you can even place your order!! the drive thru would be a lot faster without this. i get why they have to do it and its very friendly but come on! do i really need to know your name and the persons name who will take my money at the window. and no, you can not interest me in anything you are promoting today, i already have my order planned, hence why im in the drive thru! but dont worry, i am polite and listen to it and then place my order with a please and thank you  
 
i find that manners are lacking in every age bracket. saying please and thank you isnt that hard but apparently some find it is. i will admit that i am guilty of saying "no problem!" instead of your welcome. oops!!  
 
Edited by sammy, 2012-08-11 21:05:49

 
Page1 2Next>


  Get E-mail/text alerts for this discussion    
Bookmark and Share
This thread has gone more than 90 days without a reply and has been closed as a result. Please feel free to start a new topic should you feel it is warranted.

   

   

Current Discussions

 
 
 

Classified Ads

 
 

Blogs

 
 

Local Business Directory

 
 
Eco Nuts Giveaway!
Enter to win a trial pack of Eco Nuts More..
Comfort Inn
Quiet country setting. Watch for the yellow Bollingbroke airplane. More..
Bread! 10 loaves for $10!
McGavin's Bread Basket Store Discount Special Bread. 10 loaves for $10. See instore. 547-8th Street (across from Superstore) More..