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Topic: family law concerning mens rights
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donna smith

10/12/2012 11:40:19 AM
Member since:
Aug 2006
Total posts:701
family law concerning mens rights

I can't figure out for the life of me,the law is when a woman commits adultry and she moves out,(her decision) the father has to pay to support his kids. I am not saying he shouldn't support them,its just that the woman cheats and the man gets screwed..She takes the kids and leaves him with nothing..Or she kicks him out of the house and and he is left finding a place to live. Woman are very greedy with these situations. It's like the men were doing wrong..I seriously think the laws need to be changed. It's crazy..I know of 2 people in this situation. The woman always call the shots. They have an affair and all is fine..I think not..

 
 
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Tamara79

10/12/2012 11:49:28 AM
Member since:
Apr 2007
Total posts:2072
uhhh

what law are you talking about?

Fishin Guy

10/12/2012 11:49:58 AM
Member since:
Dec 2005
Total posts:6417
.....

Tell me about it. My ex was on drugs, no place to live, no job, nothing. I had proof of being clean, job, place to live, child care, parenting classes, everything that was asked.....still they wanted to give my daughter to the mother. It cost an arm and a leg but my lawyer pretty much had to ask everyone if their heads were screwed on right. In the end I was lucky to get custody but what a battle for men to go through. Right off the bat unless there is abuse it should be 50/50 custody with no costs paid to either one. Each person has to maintain a household.

donna smith

10/12/2012 11:53:34 AM
Member since:
Aug 2006
Total posts:701
uuhh!!

  
Tamara79 said "what law are you talking about? "

where it says the woman screw around and the men get screwed....figure it out for yourself!!!

Smilin

10/12/2012 11:57:14 AM
Member since:
Jan 2008
Total posts:722
alot

  
Fishin Guy said "Tell me about it. My ex was on drugs, no place to live, no job, nothing. I had proof of being clean, job, place to live, child care, parenting classes, everything that was asked.....still they wanted to give my daughter to the mother. It cost an arm and a leg but my lawyer pretty much had to ask everyone if their heads were screwed on right. In the end I was lucky to get custody but what a battle for men to go through. Right off the bat unless there is abuse it should be 50/50 custody with no costs paid to either one. Each person has to maintain a household. "

of cases now a days are just that however, with the parent making more money paying the difference between the 2 incomes. This is figured out on table amounts..so if one parent makes 40,000 and the other 50,000 a year what they would each have to pay via tables is subtracted and the higher paid parent pays the difference. This to me is making it as fair as possible for parents now a days.  
 
I also believe that if people knew how expensive it was to support 2 houses after a split, alot less people would divorce and alot more may try to work issues out. Personal opinion.  
 
Edited by CuriousGeorge, 2012-10-12 11:58:22

twinkle35

10/12/2012 12:01:01 PM
Member since:
Jun 2011
Total posts:121
who is paying for the children day to day?

if the husband had custody she would pay him. I dont think it is set up like a reward that the wife always gets money for no reason - It depends who is paying all the day to day needs for the child, shelter, food, clothing, daycare, extra-curricular...  
 
I knew a girl who had full custody her ex had the affair and did not pay anything for a couple years - somehow in court he always got his way.  
I think the trick is to be a good liar have an expensive lawyer and not put your kids first... that is how "you" win!  
 
if you love the kids and want to always put them first, money should not be the focus! Sadly what ever has came between the parents should be put aside IMMIDIATELY and work on being responsible loving parents together. Financial gain for either only means loss for the kids!  
 
Edited by twinkle35, 2012-10-12 12:04:13

Fishin Guy

10/12/2012 12:10:37 PM
Member since:
Dec 2005
Total posts:6417
.....

  
CuriousGeorge said "
  
Fishin Guy said "Tell me about it. My ex was on drugs, no place to live, no job, nothing. I had proof of being clean, job, place to live, child care, parenting classes, everything that was asked.....still they wanted to give my daughter to the mother. It cost an arm and a leg but my lawyer pretty much had to ask everyone if their heads were screwed on right. In the end I was lucky to get custody but what a battle for men to go through. Right off the bat unless there is abuse it should be 50/50 custody with no costs paid to either one. Each person has to maintain a household. "

of cases now a days are just that however, with the parent making more money paying the difference between the 2 incomes. This is figured out on table amounts..so if one parent makes 40,000 and the other 50,000 a year what they would each have to pay via tables is subtracted and the higher paid parent pays the difference. This to me is making it as fair as possible for parents now a days.  
 
I also believe that if people knew how expensive it was to support 2 houses after a split, alot less people would divorce and alot more may try to work issues out. Personal opinion.  
 
Edited by CuriousGeorge, 2012-10-12 11:58:22"

I know a guy who is in that arrangement and takes the difference in incomes. Problem is she is self employed and lowered her wage to have him pay more. She writes stuff off through the business rather than under herself so it doesn't go against her.

Tamara79

10/12/2012 12:12:22 PM
Member since:
Apr 2007
Total posts:2072
ohh

  
donna smith said "
  
Tamara79 said "what law are you talking about? "

where it says the woman screw around and the men get screwed....figure it out for yourself!!! "

you start a thread about men's rights and family law, and then go on about affairs...but you dont actually have any actual real law that you are ranting about. Affairs have nothing to do with childsupport. It doesnt matter who cheated on who, whoever has custody/care and control of the children is the one who should recieve childsupport. Child support is not a tool to be used as punishment for affairs.

Triplethreat

10/12/2012 12:14:04 PM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Total posts:852
Men Have No Rights...

That's the easy answer.LOL. Women have powerful activist groups on their side that have a huge influence on government and media. That is what gets these laws passed. Not that all women want the law to be unfair to men. Men have no activist groups fighting for our rights. We are on our own. An example of this is the fact that women's activist groups lobbyied government to remove income tax from child support payments that they received from their ex-husbands and make the man pay income tax on the child support payments that he makes. This is absolutely rediculous because,as anyone with even half a brain knows, money that is received is income while money that is paid out is an expense. Politicians tried to portray this that they cared about the children. If government really cared about the children they would make child support payments tax exempt altogether.  
 
 
 
Edited by Triplethreat, 2012-10-12 12:17:53

saddletramp

10/12/2012 1:12:53 PM
Member since:
Feb 2012
Total posts:292
no kids but a divorce

My brother was married for 32 years.His wife didn't want to work so stayed home and sorta of cleaned and looked after the house.She played games,slept and watched TV most days.He comes home,cook supper 3/4 of the time while she had a nap.He then mowed the lawn,did the dishes.He also paid for every thing.One day she informs him that she wants 800 dollars and she will go her own way.She leaves and files for a separation.She finds an apartment and moves in.They go to court,she gets 1/2 of everything.1/2 of his pension plus 1/2 of his Canada pension and the court orders him to pay 1000 dollars a month to her.The law states that she must live as close to the life style that she had.She still doesn't work and is enjoying life.She had said that she doesn't love him anymore and just wants to live by herself.There were no children involved,no abuse,no alcohol,no drugs.She just wants to be friends but just wants to live by herself.How is that fair?He is still working and still pays her 1000 a month and she got 1/2 of everything that HE worked for.The law really needs to be changed.He is not self employed and she never contributed to their finances in any way.His lawyer told him to retire and then he wouldn't have to pay the 1000 a month because they would have the same income.He retires next week and she is furious that she wont get the 1000 a month anymore.

ece2

10/12/2012 1:20:38 PM
Member since:
Jan 2011
Total posts:878
and does she pay support?!

  
Fishin Guy said "Tell me about it. My ex was on drugs, no place to live, no job, nothing. I had proof of being clean, job, place to live, child care, parenting classes, everything that was asked.....still they wanted to give my daughter to the mother. It cost an arm and a leg but my lawyer pretty much had to ask everyone if their heads were screwed on right. In the end I was lucky to get custody but what a battle for men to go through. Right off the bat unless there is abuse it should be 50/50 custody with no costs paid to either one. Each person has to maintain a household. "

I think its appalling that the guys get treated like dirty in the family court system yet the woman seem to go through unscathed!! I know a couple woman who are not raising their children and work full time yet pay nothing or next to it!!Its a disgrace.... everyone's always going on about deadbeat dads, what about the deadbeat moms?!

Fishin Guy

10/12/2012 1:33:55 PM
Member since:
Dec 2005
Total posts:6417
.....

  
ece2 said "
  
Fishin Guy said "Tell me about it. My ex was on drugs, no place to live, no job, nothing. I had proof of being clean, job, place to live, child care, parenting classes, everything that was asked.....still they wanted to give my daughter to the mother. It cost an arm and a leg but my lawyer pretty much had to ask everyone if their heads were screwed on right. In the end I was lucky to get custody but what a battle for men to go through. Right off the bat unless there is abuse it should be 50/50 custody with no costs paid to either one. Each person has to maintain a household. "

I think its appalling that the guys get treated like dirty in the family court system yet the woman seem to go through unscathed!! I know a couple woman who are not raising their children and work full time yet pay nothing or next to it!!Its a disgrace.... everyone's always going on about deadbeat dads, what about the deadbeat moms?! "

Nope! Under advice from my lawyer she said not to ask the mother for anything as she doesn't work anyway. It has been 12 years and she finally did a visit for some unknown reason. Talks to her 1-2 times a year, mostly at Christmas just to ask what she wants. I have been thinking about going for child support just to give my daughter something from her as I would save it for a downpayment for a house for her. Last I heard since I took her meal ticket away (no money from welfare for the child) she has gone on disability to keep money flowing in. Amazing how men are nailed up on the cross yet women don't have to do anything.

weekend123

10/12/2012 1:37:54 PM
Member since:
Nov 2010
Total posts:2070
Not right

My husband got screwed over as well. His ex left him for another man. She cleaned out the bank accounts, took most of the stuff in the house and the kids. She then fought him for over 3 years to get a payout of $10,000 from the farm they lived on which was gifted to my husband from his father. She then took the kids and eventually moved away without any notice. Once it was taken to court the judge still let her go. She prolonged everything so long we almost had to cancel our wedding because he wasn't legally divorced yet. This is all while she was with the man she left my husband for. I never understood it. She tried her best to keep the kids from visiting and has spent so much time and energy into making us the bad guys. Luckily the kids are old enough now we don't have to deal with her anymore.  
 
What I think should change though is that child support should be based on visitation. If the kids don't get to see their dad then the dad shouldn't be expected to be a cheque in the mail every month. I can say for sure that all mom's would certainly encourage that relationship with the kids and their dad if her monthly cheque was in jeopardy. I know there are some dad's that don't get visitation but I am talking about the ones that do.  
 
Also this extracurricular activity payments is a bunch of bull IMO. To me that should be up to the parent who has custody of the children to provide. Kids do not NEED to take part in expensive activities. There are 2 households now not one. There is no way to maintain the same lifestyle for the child anymore.

Triplethreat

10/12/2012 2:59:22 PM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Total posts:852
Like What???...

  
Lee Wrightson said "It's no wonder why the marriage rate is plummeting... smart young men want nothing to do with that 'contract'. There's a much better alternative. "

"There's a much better alternative." What is it? Many of these laws now apply to common-law relationships too.

Casadie

10/12/2012 3:30:07 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:183
Wake up people!!!!!

All this bitterness against cheating or non cheating spouses and arguments and legal action against the other spouse and child support, custody only hurts the children and those involved. My parents divorced amicably with a fair outcome for both and the children. We never saw our parents argue or had to go through lengthy court cases. My relationship now is with a divorced man who I openly admit one thing I appreciate and respect is his relationship with his ex. He provides a fair child support and used to provide alimony for her till she re married. The communication is open and honest in regards to the kids and there has not been an equal financial and emotional commitment from both depending on abilities. The children now 24 and 15 are fortunate because they have two sets of "parents and step parents" If we ever split up we will go 50/50 on what is ours and what he has worked for is his, and, what I have worked for is mine...some would think I am crazy because he has a very successful business I help him with the books, secretarial work etc. but he "brakes his back daily" Women and men who take each other to the "cleaner",hold children for ransom and are vindictive are only wasting their energy on non productive negative emotions that in the long run only hurt themselves. Its my opinion only!

weekend123

10/12/2012 5:21:49 PM
Member since:
Nov 2010
Total posts:2070
agree

  
Casadie said "All this bitterness against cheating or non cheating spouses and arguments and legal action against the other spouse and child support, custody only hurts the children and those involved. My parents divorced amicably with a fair outcome for both and the children. We never saw our parents argue or had to go through lengthy court cases. My relationship now is with a divorced man who I openly admit one thing I appreciate and respect is his relationship with his ex. He provides a fair child support and used to provide alimony for her till she re married. The communication is open and honest in regards to the kids and there has not been an equal financial and emotional commitment from both depending on abilities. The children now 24 and 15 are fortunate because they have two sets of "parents and step parents" If we ever split up we will go 50/50 on what is ours and what he has worked for is his, and, what I have worked for is mine...some would think I am crazy because he has a very successful business I help him with the books, secretarial work etc. but he "brakes his back daily" Women and men who take each other to the "cleaner",hold children for ransom and are vindictive are only wasting their energy on non productive negative emotions that in the long run only hurt themselves. Its my opinion only! "

I totally agree with you but the bottom line is it takes 2 to make it work after divorce. My husband was more than willing to work with his ex but he wanted to see his kids and she didn't want him to. Then when I came into the picture she just got more vindictive and she was the one that left him for another man. I myself know exactly what it was like to be through a nasty divorce/support/custody battle and I just tried to be there for my stepkids. Unfortunately because we choose not to force the issue and cause a fight every holiday and summer we don't see the kids that much anymore now that they are teens. All we can do is hope that they see us as stepping back out of the drama as a good thing not a negative thing.


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