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Topic: Tradition or just plain tacky....the Manitoba Wedding Social
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Wintrman

3/21/2013 7:48:06 AM
Member since:
Jan 2011
Total posts:380
Tradition or just plain tacky....the Manitoba Wedding Social

Is this a valued tradition, or is it just plain tacky?  
 
And why should others, and businesses finance peoples marriages? Last but not least, how many have thrown a social, and had to pay out of pocket, rather than it being the money raiser that it was supposed to be?

 
 
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Brenda

3/21/2013 7:53:05 AM
Member since:
Jul 2005
Total posts:8816
tacky

they used to be a great tradition, with a get together with the wedding couple. Now, with all the soliciting of businesses for prices, etc., they are tacky.  
 
I put on a few socials in a smaller town and we always made money, with no auctions or prizes.

Sagouine

3/21/2013 8:12:18 AM
Member since:
Dec 2010
Total posts:258
Tacky,

just plain TACKY! No one else does this. If you need to beg money to get married, then elope!

dueindecember

3/21/2013 8:15:19 AM
Member since:
Feb 2009
Total posts:659
mixed

I've been to a few socials hosted by the wedding couple, where they have bought the prizes. It was a chance for them to celebrate/get rowdy with coworkers/teammates and friends, while their wedding was obviously more formal with more family invited. They didn't ask for prize donations, which made me more willing to go out and buy something to donate. These socials have always been alot of fun and successful!  
 
The socials I don't like are the ones where the bridal party/groomsmen are expected to host, with a bunch of prizes from home based businesses (that I'm usually not interested in), and you get constant Facebook messages reminding you to buy a ticket or donate a prize. These ones are usually lame and not well attended.

L4593

3/21/2013 8:17:06 AM
Member since:
May 2008
Total posts:472
.

They have definitely become more and more tacky. How much money does a couple think they can soak out of their family and friends already? A social, then a bridal shower (sometimes more than one), rehearsal dinner and then expect everyone to buy a gift or throw more money at them at the wedding? The only time it's acceptable in my opinion to have a social is if the wedding is held in a different town. As in if you are originally from Brandon but are now living and getting married in another province. Have a social so that your friends and some relatives who may not be able or want to travel can celebrate an evening with you. If you're already getting married in Brandon, you shouldn't also be having a social here too. I know I'll get slammed for my opinion by others, but I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way either.

Sagouine

3/21/2013 8:23:25 AM
Member since:
Dec 2010
Total posts:258
Well said!

  
dueindecember said "I've been to a few socials hosted by the wedding couple, where they have bought the prizes. It was a chance for them to celebrate/get rowdy with coworkers/teammates and friends, while their wedding was obviously more formal with more family invited. They didn't ask for prize donations, which made me more willing to go out and buy something to donate. These socials have always been alot of fun and successful!  
 
The socials I don't like are the ones where the bridal party/groomsmen are expected to host, with a bunch of prizes from home based businesses (that I'm usually not interested in), and you get constant Facebook messages reminding you to buy a ticket or donate a prize. These ones are usually lame and not well attended. "

summergal

3/21/2013 8:46:37 AM
Member since:
May 2009
Total posts:1432
....

I think it depends on the socials. Where I grew up everyone supported the social either by buying a ticket or attending. Since not a lot happened around there we loved when a social happened as it gave us a chance to party and dance and see people who came from other towns. I could care less about the prizes and barely ever bought tickets for the auctions.  
 
We're having a social next month and while I didn't really want one, everyone else did. I decided to go ahead since we are having a small wedding so this is a way to celebrate with other people who won't be invited. I hope the turn out is decent and we make enough to pay for everything needed and for a decent donation that we plan to make.  
 
I don't know why some people expect the couple to be trying to get money out of everybody, as it it their choice whether they attend socials, buy presents, etc. I don't care if people buy us wedding presents, we are providing food for a rehearsal supper, it's not my choice to have a bridal shower but everyone else saying they will put one on (two actually but I convinced the other person not to do it) as its a community tradition. I managed to get out of a baby shower but a wedding shower will happen. I'm getting married to be totally committed to the person I love and if other people want to support than that's up to them.

MBGal

3/21/2013 8:50:09 AM
Member since:
Sep 2011
Total posts:486
.

I love them! I always have a great time and enjoy winning prizes it's nice to be able to support the couple too, even if it's just a little. I hope this tradition never ends in manitoba!

Starhc

3/21/2013 8:58:14 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:1281
agree

Great tradition, love them - great way to celebrate with family and friends pre-wedding and raise a little money. But it goes overboard to tacky with the prizes, soliciting businesses, etc. It's a fundraiser for people who know the couple, they are getting married not going through cancer treatments. The point should always be to have fun and have a good time, make money off the door and drinks, not drum up a bunch of $$$.  
 
No insult to people who do it, because I know it is just what is done now, my criticism is not at them, but at how the tradition has 'evolved'. People go to businesses to look for prizes because family and friends may not always be willing and able to donate prizes - and why should they if they are planning and throwing this party in the first place? I hate feeling obligated to put money in for the contests and prizes, and I hate sitting through the night when everyone is supposed to be dancing and visiting, and listening to some DJ run through all the prizes and winners.  
 
Socials = great, contests and prizes = stupid.

snowman5

3/21/2013 9:03:41 AM
Member since:
Nov 2009
Total posts:833
Agreed....

  
L4593 said "They have definitely become more and more tacky. How much money does a couple think they can soak out of their family and friends already? A social, then a bridal shower (sometimes more than one), rehearsal dinner and then expect everyone to buy a gift or throw more money at them at the wedding? The only time it's acceptable in my opinion to have a social is if the wedding is held in a different town. As in if you are originally from Brandon but are now living and getting married in another province. Have a social so that your friends and some relatives who may not be able or want to travel can celebrate an evening with you. If you're already getting married in Brandon, you shouldn't also be having a social here too. I know I'll get slammed for my opinion by others, but I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way either. "

The last ten to fifteen years, weddings haved turned into nothing more than a community 'shakedown'. The focus has turned from a fun time with family, friends and acquaintances to CASH,....CASH,....and CASH! They nearly demand the 'big prizes' to draw in the larger crowd of strangers to generate more money. It's not a social...it's become more of an unlicensed charity fundraiser for spoiled & selfish people.  
 
Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

neilb09

3/21/2013 9:12:32 AM
Member since:
Feb 2010
Total posts:6
up tight ebrandon people!?!

Don't want to try and win an iPad for $10?...THEN DON'T! If youre complaining that you think the couple is begging for $...Then don't show up! You're probably not really that good of friends with them anyway and you sound like you don't know how to have a good time, stay home and pout and post complaints on ebrandon.  
 
I know I HOPE that my friends make a ton of $ at their social, where I grew up that means they'll afford an open bar at their wedding!! OPEN BAR PEOPLE! lol  
 
Seriously though lighten up

braid

3/21/2013 9:14:27 AM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:5335
have

  
MBGal said "I love them! I always have a great time and enjoy winning prizes it's nice to be able to support the couple too, even if it's just a little. I hope this tradition never ends in manitoba! "

I have to agree.  
I think they are a fun way for all to get together that may not be able to make it to the actual wedding. I have helped set up a lot of socials for friends of my kids. Love the decorating . I will admit that some of them have gotten a little out of hand . I don't agree with " hitting up " businesses for prizes.  
It is getting harder & harder to put one together. The cost of the halls, booze, music men & price of printing the tickets ...everything has gone up so much & yet the price of tickets remains cheap.  
I never really care what the prizes are..just fun to buy tickets & the thrill of winning.

Starhc

3/21/2013 9:23:29 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:1281
Why?

If a couple or their family and friends can acquire an iPad to give away for free, why the heck am I dropping money to attend their social? If people aren't just coming for a night out, to celebrate with the couple and family and friends, why do they need to be lured with a freaking iPad? Do they need that extra $500 spent or donated?  
 
In my opinion, stuff like that just brings extra attention to it being a money-grubbing event, not just a good time. I agree with others who posted that socials are great because there isn't a lot to do in small towns, and anything that brings people together and home for the weekend etc. is a positive thing. No problem with that. But if you need to have an iPad raffled off, it just makes it seem ridiculous to me. Someone donated or paid for that item just to make a few extra bucks. Why?

acidbasement

3/21/2013 9:26:26 AM
Member since:
Aug 2011
Total posts:456
Both.

I like going to wedding socials BECAUSE they're tacky. My wife and I did not have one - we chose to have a small wedding that did not require much in the way of funds. But I think socials are hilarious. They're a much better Manitoba tradition than the other one - complaining.

foxtrot11

3/21/2013 9:32:22 AM
Member since:
Feb 2009
Total posts:2532
Tacky and antiquated

They had a purpose way back when. To help a couple - who were not living together before the marriage - start off right with some money towards a home and household necessities.  
 
Now they are just a cash grab.  
 
I do have no issue with the social being used as a fundraiser for someone in need.

neilb09

3/21/2013 9:33:00 AM
Member since:
Feb 2010
Total posts:6
WOW

How is this a hard concept to understand!!? buy the iPad, raffle it, make $ on the raffle, put $ in an account to help pay for a wedding and free booze to all your close friends who showed support at your social.  
"if they can afford an iPad then they don't need $" Well then, they can afford to rent the hall, they don't need my money! They can afford a liquor license, they dont need my money! OMG STAY HOME!! I think you people are done with socials because you are clearly not social people!  
Don't like the raffle don't pay for the raffle plain and simple.  
The whining on ebrandon is such an incredible joke

Starhc

3/21/2013 9:45:30 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:1281
I am social!

I don't mind them renting the hall and buying the booze because that is what you need to have people get together to have a good time! Have a midnight lunch, it is required if you are serving alcohol. The purpose of the social is to have a party, and the nice thing about it is to give the profits of said party to the couple you are celebrating.  
 
Nobody needs to have an iPad to have a good time, and I would suggest that the person who does should be the one sitting home. Spend or solicit $500+ in prizes to soak your friends and family who already paid $20 at the door and will buy drinks all night, so they can open their wallets a little wider? The question is if it is tacky, and in my opinion that is exactly the point where it crosses the line.  
 
I personally wouldn't be comfortable with asking or expecting that on behalf of my family or friends. I attend socials and pay for drink tickets not raffle tickets, since that is what I am there for, to have a few drinks, dance and visit with people.  
 
 

Starhc

3/21/2013 9:50:32 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:1281
also, LOL

at the 'free booze for all your close friends who showed support at your social'  
 
Yeah, right. Like that is going to happen anymore, that's a 'tradition' that has certainly fallen by the wayside!  
 
And maybe your close friends would be there to hang out with you, and celebrate your engagement not win an iPad! Just a thought!

neilb09

3/21/2013 9:55:35 AM
Member since:
Feb 2010
Total posts:6
iPad hate?

Why do you hate iPads so much? listen you dont buy raffle tix, good for you no one said you were expected to or obliged to, so why do you even care is my point. Every social I've been to people get excited to win one or golf clubs or a BBQ. How is it tackey? chill out stop being so judgemental support the young couple anyway you can.

floresentblack

3/21/2013 9:58:06 AM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Total posts:580
Why only Manitoba?

When I moved out to Alberta a number of years ago, I mentioned the concept of a "social" to my friends out there and they had never heard of it.  
How/Why is this only a Manitoba tradition?

Starhc

3/21/2013 9:58:17 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:1281
typed

*on my iPad*  
 
That I bought. I don't care what it is, it's just the idea of having hundreds of dollars of merchandise on display, someone paid for that and the point is to make more money. Don't like the social being interrupted for the drawings and announcements, don't think it is necessary, don't like.  
 
I am suggesting it is time that people dial it back, instead of going for bigger and better prizes. I am sure it will still be fun.

Falon0319

3/21/2013 10:21:57 AM
Member since:
Sep 2009
Total posts:200
sooo

So renting a hall , serving food, having drinks, and prizes to make money is tacky?  
Who here goes to Christmas parties? Sounds the same. Get two free drinks, then spend money on prize tickets, why so the companies can recover some or all costs. Aren't most of there prizes donations too..  
We will have a social as our wedding will only have max 20 of our closest family. The social for all our friends to come celebrate with us,. Prizes you don't want to have the excitement of winning don't buy tickets, leave before the draws.. Or don't go..  
Just my two cents....

Braden_88

3/21/2013 11:07:53 AM
Member since:
May 2008
Total posts:95
.

speak for yourselves, i very much enjoy supporting my friends wedding socials, i specifically bring 2-300$ to do just that, and its not just about raking in your friends/family money its about going out and having a good time and helping celebrate the fact there getting married. We just had our wedding social and had an ABSOLUTE blast as did everyone else. So no... i dont think there tacky

don brown

3/21/2013 11:19:21 AM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4304
socials

I don't think that they are tacky but they sure have changed, is there a reason for them, well for me I think there is, people can have a very large group of friends and the bride and groom can even have different friends and the fact is not everyone is going to get an invite to the wedding. So if a social is held, them anyone who is a friend has the chance to help the new couple out buy buying a ticket to attend. Now the prize idea is sort of new for me but and in the beginning I found it strange but now I don't really mind the idea. As for the couple holding it we could look at it as just a fund raiser but I find it more fun to look at as a party for the couple and just because they hosted it, well big deal, nobody says you have to go, and nobody says you have to buy drinks or enter the draws.

Muddy

3/21/2013 11:24:39 AM
Member since:
Sep 2008
Total posts:23
Social after Wedding

I am attending a wedding this summer and after supper the couple plans to have a social and are selling tickets. Is this to pay for the wedding that already happened.

Michelle Budiwski

3/21/2013 11:29:56 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:8116
Celebrate?

I love how people say that wedding socials are so their friends (who aren't close enough to be invited to the wedding) can come and 'celebrate with them.  
 
Since when do friends have to pay to celebrate with you? If you invite them for dinner, do you ask them to pay at the door? Charge them for the meal?  
 
If you really wanted to have a celebration with your friends and couldn't afford to pay for them, you would have a potluck bbq or 10 at your house.  
 
At least call a spade a spade - people have socials to pay for weddings they can't or don't want to sacrifice to afford.

don brown

3/21/2013 11:36:46 AM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4304
Hi Butterflymbca

Well the way I look at is, say you have a large circle of friends, so it might mean that you have to rent a hall, now that costs money, and then you might want to have music, now that costs money, and I guess you need security, now that likely cost money, I could likely mention other things but you see where I'm going. Truth is sometimes socials lose money.

sammy

3/21/2013 11:38:34 AM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8038
socials

I am a supporter of any social be it fundraiser for a charity, group or wedding. It's a time to get together with friends and family and have a good time. If I am the DD that night then I spend my money on the prize tickets(I actually prefer this option) and if I have a DD then I will have a couple drinks and buy a few prize tickets. I prefer the "newer" way to do the prize winners and that is to write the winning numbers on a paper and the ppl who bought tickets check that list. This is much nicer than the DJ having to stop for 30-60 minutes to announce it. How they get their prizes is not really a concern of mine unless they are asking me personally for one. I actually like to put together prize baskets so it wouldn't bother me anyways. I can understand why larger companies might get sick of donating though but a "no" to their asking is all that is needed. Or put up a sign.(that might be tacky though )  
 
There are things that are done for almost anything that can be tacky....weddings,socials,xmas parties, birthday parties,family reunions,school functions, sports games(why should I have to buy 50/50 if I'm just there to watch? I'm just using this as an example. I like "gambling" so it doesn't bother me lol) and the list goes on and on. The reason??? What is tacky to one is not tacky to another.  
 
Quit worrying so much about what is tacky or socially acceptable and do what you feel is classy and have fun! Life is short, don't add any stress that is unnecessary ....easier said than done though!

don brown

3/21/2013 11:44:31 AM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4304
just one more thing

I would also like to add that I have seen socials put on by the friends, of a couple, after the wedding has taken place, and some of the weddings were just a visit before a Justice of the Peace, but we all have our own ideas and the nice thing is that nobody forces anybody to take part.

Mormac

3/21/2013 12:52:47 PM
Member since:
Jan 2009
Total posts:596
Not again...

Can't believe I'm about to partake in this discussion again  
 
Wedding Socials are a great MB Tradition, but they have certainly lost their way.  
 
1. Bridal party & family put on the social, not bride & groom. Feels a little greedy when it's bride & groom promoting their own social.  
 
2. A mountain of expensive auction prizes is NOT necessary. If Great Aunt Tiffany wants to donate a BBQ to auction off at her favourite nephews social, or if the Maid of Honor wants to donate a Mary Kay package, then so be it. But businesses should not be hit up for prizes, and (I've been in one of these bridal parties, so trust me) business owners usually tell you to go suck an egg. Also, Bridal Parties should NEVER be asked by the Bride and Groom to purchase a large item to auction off! If they choose to do that, that is their gift to the B&G!  
 
3. STOP making it a cash grab! Stop pushing tickets. Stop pushing prizes. This is a celebration and a GIFT from your friends, family, and the community! A way to say "Congrats" and help you have an enjoyable wedding, and/or start your marriage off right. Social attendees are your guests, not your customers. You are there to give them a good party, not to empty their wallets.

 
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