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Discussion Groups: Relationships & Dating


Topic: I want a "gentleman"....not a boy.....
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lv87

8/10/2013 4:07:46 AM
Member since:
Aug 2009
Total posts:45
I want a "gentleman"....not a boy.....

Today as I was waking to work something that baffles me happened. I was feeling quite pleased with myself. I did my hair, did my makeup, and pulled together a nice outfit instead of whatever was in the "clean section" of my " used not dirty" laundry. I only walked about a block when I passed a group of guys and could clearly hear them making rude dirty comments about my appearance. (P.s. I was wearing a loose band tshirt of my boyfriends and a fitted black skirt that came just past my knees with flip flops. ). I passed it off and about a block and a half from this a delivery driver in a semi proceeded to lean out his window and whistle and yell at me. This is what reminds me why I don't make the effort to dress up on a daily basis. I just want all you guys out there to know that the way to a woman's heart is not to degrade her by such actions but to open doors and compliment like a human so she feels beautiful and valued instead of objectified. To the men I see opening doors and being so gentleman like and polite...to everyone, not just women...bravo....you are rare gems!! Teach the rest of the world and your children to treat a woman like you do and the world will be a much better place with a lot of happier women.

 
 
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sokolovic

8/10/2013 7:11:22 AM
Member since:
Oct 2009
Total posts:1435
...

But if you didn't have the bad how would you know what's actually good?

sammygirl459

8/10/2013 8:38:37 AM
Member since:
Jul 2013
Total posts:30
Will Ferrel said it best

To all the girls that say gentlemen don't exist anymore: They do exist but gentlemen are attracted to ladies. Not s***s. Sorry.

Truck Chick

8/10/2013 8:46:45 AM
Member since:
Jun 2006
Total posts:1864
oh girlfriend...

Someday you'll be wishing for the catcalls :-)

Terry9366

8/10/2013 8:46:50 AM
Member since:
Oct 2009
Total posts:1254
women

Most men and a lot of women will say "nice guys finish last" and women always go for the bad guy, 9 timeTimes out of 10 the guy that opens the door gets a thank you and not a second look or thought. You said you were wearing your boyfriend's tshirt so it shouldn't matter what your initial reaction was to their antics were unless you were looking to trade up......or down. I get a different reaction from every woman I encounter in a day which is the way it should be And I don't come on here and call them all frigid or all tramps or all bitches. We all project different things to different people just as we all see different things in different people: Some women would openly appreciate the attention, some don't and some secretly love it

Milky Whey

8/10/2013 9:02:05 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:475
appreciate it

ignore the rude comments. I would have thanked the delivery guy. You can tell if they are being rude or just happy to see a pretty lady. Enjoy it, this too will pass. You will be aged before you even know it has happened.  
 
I have never thought of myself as pretty, one time a man came up to me and told me I was pretty. He was not being rude, it was just a compliment, I thanked him.  
 
Edited by Milky Whey, 2013-08-10 09:04:40

Leanne D.

8/10/2013 9:36:48 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:706
Favorite saying

Men should treat women the way they want other men to treat their daughter

hermione

8/10/2013 10:30:14 AM
Member since:
Jul 2009
Total posts:2942
I

shudder to think this is how my daughter is going to be treated when she is just trying to walk down the street. It is rude and boorish and I can't imagine it works on many women.

bookwood

8/12/2013 7:45:26 PM
Member since:
Mar 2006
Total posts:196
So

  
Leanne D. said "Men should treat women the way they want other men to treat their daughter "

don't look or speak to women. My daughter is priceless, and no man is worth my daughter.  
 
I wish!!

prairie gal

8/13/2013 12:57:46 AM
Member since:
Apr 2006
Total posts:392
Meh

I'd try not to worry. Every person has a different way of expressing themselves. Good or bad.  
 
Personally, I much prefer a catcall to "are you sick or something, you look like crap today." And imagine that the latter is supposed to be considered a gesture of caring!

jmc

8/13/2013 7:57:45 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:185
...

I wouldn't want a future daughter of mine to be objectified in this way, the way I was. I never felt the need to date any of those guys though. My husband came up to me, introduced himself, told me I was pretty.... he opened my car door, held an umbrella for me, made me breakfast in bed... that's the way to treat someone, with respect, with love. We'll be married 8yrs this year and he still shows me the utmost respect and care

lv87

8/18/2013 5:43:13 AM
Member since:
Aug 2009
Total posts:45
Agreed to all...

Just to say I am not classifying all guys into this category and as previously stated I give full credit to all the men out there who act like proper gentlemen. I would not want my daughter objectified like this either and would hope that she doesn't take actions like this as flattery. I agree everyone likes to know that other people think they are beautiful or attractive in any manner, I just personally feel that it would mean a lot more if it was done in a polite respective manner. And I would hope it would make young women hold their heads higher and have more self respect because I agree with the earlier comment that a much as women want a gentleman they need to act like women not s***s...

LatePonderer

8/18/2013 7:04:35 AM
Member since:
May 2012
Total posts:93
agreed

There are alot of reasonable posts here. My comment whenever someone has something to say like this on here is...  
 
It isn't make you work harder, it didnt make you may more money, it didnt obligate you for anything. It COULD have been a drastically worse experience, and it was just a forward way to compliment.  
 
In which case, no energy expended, no realinconvenience to your day. It was nothing. Just shake it off.

MissLory

8/18/2013 7:44:10 AM
Member since:
Dec 2012
Total posts:14
To jmzzz...

...very well, thought out response - nicely done. :-) I'm sure I can speak for many 'classy' women out there, a 'gentlemen' as well as a 'gentleman' seems to be quite a rarity, especially this day and age. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and that is admirable. Just my two cents worth. wink.

don brown

8/18/2013 8:13:55 AM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:4615
There once was a song

I can't remember the name of the song, but in the song there were the lines that there were "two types of mothers, and two types of brothers, and two types sisters, and two types of ladies, and so on.  
 
I have never whistled or made comments at women for the simple reason that Leanne D. mentioned,  
and that was because the message could be taken the wrong way, not as a compliment but as a slight of ones character, and I don't think that I'm any different than any other guy and we would be insulted if someone was rude to our mother, sister or daughter.  
 
Being a male at times is very difficult, we can see a woman that is so very beautiful or dressed in an impressive way, and yet any response or gesture to show that we notice can be taken the wrong way, and carrying around a bunch of flowers to give as a way of saying to one that they have gotten your attention won't even work, because many women are not trying to impress anyone they are just being themselves.  
 
Darn it's hard being a guy.

JD

8/18/2013 9:39:09 AM
Member since:
Feb 2010
Total posts:364
One thing to keep in mind boys is.......

if there's an attractive lady out and about she's most likely seeking attention from someone equally attractive.

Beav99

8/18/2013 11:56:29 AM
Member since:
Jan 2010
Total posts:138
Really

??? Guys do that not because they are hoping to get a date out of the deal. They are doing it because they see an attractive woman and that's their playful way of throwing out a compliment from the seat of their truck. If that offends you I think you should stick to your sweat pants and a hoodie because 9 out of 10 women would appreciate it. Now if they were yelling inappropriate sexual things then yes I agree but a whistle or a hey pretty lady, man soak it iup while you can because its defiantly not going to last forever.

traveller

8/18/2013 12:37:35 PM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:9048
>

honestly as a woman, who cares? attraction is a part of everyone so get used to it, cat calls are no big deal, take them as a complement if you want or ignore them, its no secret that guys like to look at women and if you think the gentleman isn't thinking sexy thoughts about you, you are wrong they are and the guys that called out of the truck may hold the door open for you at the store or be a nice guy too, and the previous poster is right guys doing that are not looking for a date, they are looking to show off and let you know they like what they see, and yes one day you will miss the attention too


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