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Topic: online dating
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WL

8/10/2013 10:34:01 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:42
online dating

From talking to others, it appears there needs to be a "support group" for those who have attempted to meet someone online ..pm me with your experiences !

 
 
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katwalk1909

8/10/2013 11:04:11 AM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:7093
Smart About It

If you want to meet people online, you have to be smart about it.  
 
When I was online, I limited my contacts to within fifty kilometers of Brandon. I was not ready to move for various reasons. There was one guy from Ontario that thought giving up a good job and pension benefits because of a possible love would be a good risk. He was blocked very quickly as this was an obvious indication that he is not able to think straight.  
 
I used intelligence as my standard and held to it. I gave them a riddle that would lead them to my personal hotmail address rather than paying to chat through the website. I was also very frugal at that time. If they did not know the value of a dollar then they were off my list.  
 
Writing skills were also a good indicator of whether they had the intelligence to match mine. I like to tell a joke and get a chuckle without having to explain it. Someone tried to contact me through eBrandon but wrote like teen in high school. He refused to use the upper case letters or proper punctuation. It became a chore to decipher his messages and, when this was pointed out, refused to upgrade his writing skills to make it easier for me to read his messages. If it is important, then make it as easy as possible for the recipient to read it. This is a basic courtesy that he obviously did not understand. When I repeated my request for proper writing skills, he blocked me.  
 
There are many clues in messages if you know what to look for. Know what you are looking for and ignore those that do not match the requirements. Would you try on purple shoes when you could only buy one pair and needed black ones? Why meet someone that obviously does not match what you are looking for?  
 

Briar

8/10/2013 2:42:19 PM
Member since:
Mar 2010
Total posts:286
very good points

I also required a pic..no pic no response. I found that a lot of men that didn't post a pic were married so I refused to respond. Better safe than sorry

Krazykatlady

8/10/2013 5:41:09 PM
Member since:
Oct 2012
Total posts:31
online creeps

I too have tried the online dating scene, that's where I met my current bf and we have been together for 2 years now. Funny story of another guy I met online years ago, he told me this huge story about himself and then when after a friend opened my eyes to how his story didn't add up and I confronted him on it, I was told by him that my friends were just trying to break us up and that I shouldn't listen to them. My smart answer was why would a friend I've known for 10 years lie to me and I should listen to a guy I"v know for a few weeks.  
Then a few years later a girl I work with started seeing this guy and low and behold he was living in Brandon and not where he told me he should be living. Long story short she broke up with him and hasn't heard from him since, then when I meet my current bf we start telling horror dating stories and I find out that many other women have had a run in with this guy and he lied to all of them...  
Many crazies out there (both male and female) so my advise is trust your gut and get a good close friends advice on the person too.

lovemystery

8/10/2013 6:17:37 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:451
:)

I have had both good and bad experiences with online dating. I like that it gives people a resource to meet people they probably wouldn't otherwise meet, but it can be VERY challenging...at least it has been for me.  
 
You need to have thick skin and a backbone to do the online thing. You need to keep your expectations/hope at a minimum.  
 
I know online dating works...I know many people who found "the one" online. That's so awesome. At this point, I'm done with online...who knows what the future holds.  
 
Good luck to all you online daters...always listen to your gut!

FreedomBird

8/10/2013 8:18:20 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Total posts:89
Mail order husband

I met my SO online just over 6 years ago. Best. Decision. Ever. That perfect someone is out there somewhere, why not online?!  
 
When I first signed up, I was apprehensive and borderline freaked out by dating online, however, I lucked into a good one within two weeks. I did have to weed through a few crazies, however, he stood out, we met and were married shortly after. I could not be happier. I highly recommend it. Good luck!!

lovemystery

8/10/2013 8:34:15 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:451
:)

I think the thing that shocked me the most was how many men were lying about who they are. I know, I know...there are going to be many people that say "you're online dating, what do you expect?", but I guess I just had hope that people who wanted to meet someone would be true about who they are. I hoped wrong.

katwalk1909

8/10/2013 9:28:40 PM
Member since:
Aug 2008
Total posts:7093
First Step - Anonymous Hotmail Address

The first step I did was get an anonymous email account so it would be more difficult to track me down. I had my personal account and then a completely different one for online dating. If I encountered someone that I did not want to have anything to do with, I could disappear from the online account without disturbing all my contacts on my personal account.  

Cee Jay 55

8/10/2013 9:33:47 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:4112
those type

  
lovemystery said "I think the thing that shocked me the most was how many men were lying about who they are. I know, I know...there are going to be many people that say "you're online dating, what do you expect?", but I guess I just had hope that people who wanted to meet someone would be true about who they are. I hoped wrong. "

Are the ones that ruin it for those of us who are genuine. I have no faith in meeting someone online but I have my profile back up.

ooga

8/10/2013 10:13:27 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:690
really

Online dating is no worse than more conventional methods. There are just as many creeps and liars that date the old fashioned way, and also just as many really good decent people.

sammy

8/10/2013 10:19:46 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8238
agree with knotwhat

Online dating is just a different method to meeting someone. There are funny, depressing, scary, OMG and also great dating stories to each method. You can meet someone by being friends first, a coworker, set up by friends or family, run your cart into each other at the grocery store or online(among many other ways). No one way is better than the other in my opinion, just so long as you end up with a person you love

lovemystery

8/10/2013 11:01:51 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:451
:)

  
Cee Jay 55 said "
  
lovemystery said "I think the thing that shocked me the most was how many men were lying about who they are. I know, I know...there are going to be many people that say "you're online dating, what do you expect?", but I guess I just had hope that people who wanted to meet someone would be true about who they are. I hoped wrong. "

Are the ones that ruin it for those of us who are genuine. I have no faith in meeting someone online but I have my profile back up. "

Yeah...it's unfortunate.

BlueRoses

8/11/2013 6:19:06 AM
Member since:
Aug 2013
Total posts:71
Just from my own view...

I've been on a dating site a couple of times and was more surprised to see that the same men that were on it a year ago were still on it ? You can read all the profiles you want, and communicate for a time, it may all sound good but in the end when you actually meet you know within minutes if there is a connection...I feel finding that right person on an online site is like one in a million, I have found that older men (50'ish) have this big crazy picture in their heads that they are going to find their perfect 10 on the sites... it seems like a lot of men my age have lost the reality of aging and wear and tear on the body, it seems older men don't look inside a woman's heart anymore and look for the good like it used to be when I was younger, so they remain on the site to keep trying to find "the perfect one" all I have to say is good luck with that ! I don't need a support group, I just clicked "delete account" and continued on with my life.

Cee Jay 55

8/11/2013 12:22:27 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:4112
Not true

  
BlueRoses said "I've been on a dating site a couple of times and was more surprised to see that the same men that were on it a year ago were still on it ? You can read all the profiles you want, and communicate for a time, it may all sound good but in the end when you actually meet you know within minutes if there is a connection...I feel finding that right person on an online site is like one in a million, I have found that older men (50'ish) have this big crazy picture in their heads that they are going to find their perfect 10 on the sites... it seems like a lot of men my age have lost the reality of aging and wear and tear on the body, it seems older men don't look inside a woman's heart anymore and look for the good like it used to be when I was younger, so they remain on the site to keep trying to find "the perfect one" all I have to say is good luck with that ! I don't need a support group, I just clicked "delete account" and continued on with my life. "

I could say the same thing about the women on POF. The same ones are still on there after a couple of years. Perhaps they are looking for the perfect 10 "younger" partner too. Or maybe we are all just being a bit pickier about personality because of our experience - I know I am.

BlueRoses

8/11/2013 1:58:24 PM
Member since:
Aug 2013
Total posts:71
As I stated...

As I stated, this was my own personal view on this topic... I'm sure there have been a lot of the same women on the site for years, I don't check out the women so I wouldn't know...

Healthy Hugs

8/11/2013 2:26:01 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:315
Must have photo

  
Briar said "I also required a pic..no pic no response. I found that a lot of men that didn't post a pic were married so I refused to respond. Better safe than sorry "

Well do you actually think that requesting a photo actually ensures that you are speaking to whom you may presume. These sites really do not have any sort of screening to verify any new members information so honestly if you want to be sure rather than sharing much about yourself - best bet is to request face to face meets in a public location (always public - for your safety) then you can determine what and if you seek any further communication.

Healthy Hugs

8/11/2013 2:29:21 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:315
Meeting Someone

  
Cee Jay 55 said "
  
lovemystery said "I think the thing that shocked me the most was how many men were lying about who they are. I know, I know...there are going to be many people that say "you're online dating, what do you expect?", but I guess I just had hope that people who wanted to meet someone would be true about who they are. I hoped wrong. "

Are the ones that ruin it for those of us who are genuine. I have no faith in meeting someone online but I have my profile back up. "

I am very familiar with a honest success story from POF for example. Yes the gal meet a few not so great fellows - Kinda like you have to kiss alot of toads before you meet the handsome prince)  
The couple meet and very soon determined that a face to face would be favorable - so yes after dating for a period of time - they are happily married - I know I had the honor of being my girlfriends - Matron of Honor at her wedding.

Healthy Hugs

8/11/2013 2:33:06 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:315
Still on There You Say

  
Cee Jay 55 said "
  
BlueRoses said "I've been on a dating site a couple of times and was more surprised to see that the same men that were on it a year ago were still on it ? You can read all the profiles you want, and communicate for a time, it may all sound good but in the end when you actually meet you know within minutes if there is a connection...I feel finding that right person on an online site is like one in a million, I have found that older men (50'ish) have this big crazy picture in their heads that they are going to find their perfect 10 on the sites... it seems like a lot of men my age have lost the reality of aging and wear and tear on the body, it seems older men don't look inside a woman's heart anymore and look for the good like it used to be when I was younger, so they remain on the site to keep trying to find "the perfect one" all I have to say is good luck with that ! I don't need a support group, I just clicked "delete account" and continued on with my life. "

I could say the same thing about the women on POF. The same ones are still on there after a couple of years. Perhaps they are looking for the perfect 10 "younger" partner too. Or maybe we are all just being a bit pickier about personality because of our experience - I know I am. "

Yes - they will still be on there in my opinion as they have learned and grown from past experiences and seek more than the first time around.  
What person would be such an idiot to get together with someone who would treat her no better than the first go around.

Healthy Hugs

8/11/2013 2:36:26 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:315
Congrats

  
Touton said "I met my SO online just over 6 years ago. Best. Decision. Ever. That perfect someone is out there somewhere, why not online?!  
 
When I first signed up, I was apprehensive and borderline freaked out by dating online, however, I lucked into a good one within two weeks. I did have to weed through a few crazies, however, he stood out, we met and were married shortly after. I could not be happier. I highly recommend it. Good luck!! "

Yes there are some great success stories - just gotta weed through - just like weeding a garden - some may look okay but in reality they really are just that weeds!

Healthy Hugs

8/11/2013 2:40:14 PM
Member since:
Nov 2012
Total posts:315
Pickier!!

  
Cee Jay 55 said "
  
BlueRoses said "I've been on a dating site a couple of times and was more surprised to see that the same men that were on it a year ago were still on it ? You can read all the profiles you want, and communicate for a time, it may all sound good but in the end when you actually meet you know within minutes if there is a connection...I feel finding that right person on an online site is like one in a million, I have found that older men (50'ish) have this big crazy picture in their heads that they are going to find their perfect 10 on the sites... it seems like a lot of men my age have lost the reality of aging and wear and tear on the body, it seems older men don't look inside a woman's heart anymore and look for the good like it used to be when I was younger, so they remain on the site to keep trying to find "the perfect one" all I have to say is good luck with that ! I don't need a support group, I just clicked "delete account" and continued on with my life. "

I could say the same thing about the women on POF. The same ones are still on there after a couple of years. Perhaps they are looking for the perfect 10 "younger" partner too. Or maybe we are all just being a bit pickier about personality because of our experience - I know I am. "

Yes Cee Jay - to be picky is not a bad thing - sure beats hearing about the second, third and forth marriages!!  
Don't settle - cause being single is just fine too - be happy with your current circumstances - is my opinion!

dennisgm

8/11/2013 5:01:38 PM
Member since:
Jul 2012
Total posts:84
So

So how does a genuine person go online and stick out as someone thats geniune in a world full of.... um not so genuine i guess.. thats the million dollar question....

Billy Jack

8/11/2013 7:41:27 PM
Member since:
Jun 2012
Total posts:165
:

  
dennisgm said "So how does a genuine person go online and stick out as someone thats geniune in a world full of.... um not so genuine i guess.. thats the million dollar question.... "

A paradigm shift may be all needed for your future success.  
 
Good Luck!  
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propinquity

Windinthetrees

8/11/2013 10:05:34 PM
Member since:
Aug 2010
Total posts:426
Pickier for good reason..

  
RosieGirl said "
  
Cee Jay 55 said "
  
BlueRoses said "I've been on a dating site a couple of times and was more surprised to see that the same men that were on it a year ago were still on it ? You can read all the profiles you want, and communicate for a time, it may all sound good but in the end when you actually meet you know within minutes if there is a connection...I feel finding that right person on an online site is like one in a million, I have found that older men (50'ish) have this big crazy picture in their heads that they are going to find their perfect 10 on the sites... it seems like a lot of men my age have lost the reality of aging and wear and tear on the body, it seems older men don't look inside a woman's heart anymore and look for the good like it used to be when I was younger, so they remain on the site to keep trying to find "the perfect one" all I have to say is good luck with that ! I don't need a support group, I just clicked "delete account" and continued on with my life. "

I could say the same thing about the women on POF. The same ones are still on there after a couple of years. Perhaps they are looking for the perfect 10 "younger" partner too. Or maybe we are all just being a bit pickier about personality because of our experience - I know I am. "

Yes Cee Jay - to be picky is not a bad thing - sure beats hearing about the second, third and forth marriages!!  
Don't settle - cause being single is just fine too - be happy with your current circumstances - is my opinion! "

Perhaps they are not only trying to find a good match for themselves but also for kids that might be involved.

Mandy6

8/11/2013 10:53:36 PM
Member since:
Jul 2012
Total posts:932
I think

  
dennisgm said "So how does a genuine person go online and stick out as someone thats geniune in a world full of.... um not so genuine i guess.. thats the million dollar question.... "

just be yourself and let your genuineness shine through all on its own.  
 
And take the same precautions you would in everyday life to protect yourself. People you meet in everyday life can be just as "masked" as the people online.  
 
 
 
Edited by Mandy6, 2013-08-11 22:55:03

WL

8/12/2013 7:32:49 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Total posts:42
This is Great !

There are some great stories and helpful hints here...Keep them coming....Always good to hear other's words of wisdom

JennaM

8/13/2013 3:26:25 PM
Member since:
Apr 2013
Total posts:60
dabbled

i dabbled in online dating before i met my fiance and at first i was very hesitant (who wants to meet their life partnet on the internet-is what i thought!) but, a friend convinced me to at least give it a try, and although i didn't find my prince charming there, i found some entertaining stories to share with friends, and new people to talk to and be friends with at the very least.  
 
it isn't for everybody though.. so i understand some peoples hesitant to try it, or want nothing to do with it.  
 
i was scared to meet the person i met first, because my god what if it wasnt who they said they were.. but it ended up really great, and found a friend in the end!  
 
my sister and brother-in-law met on POF, and they are beyond happy, they wouldnt have found each other any other way.  
 
society is changing into a digital world, and so you would only assume meeting and dating will be the same!  
 
i lucked out and was able to find the love of my life through friends, the old fashioned way, but others may have to search outside their circle of friends and even comfort zones!  
 
try it out.. and if you hate it, delete it and forget about it!!  

Hope

8/13/2013 3:34:45 PM
Member since:
Apr 2010
Total posts:162
I have met

I have met some great guys on-line, They became good friends however there has not been a Love Match yet.....  
 
I am always quite eager and able to meet as I do not care for the ' Fantasy" aspect of it and waiting for months on end just to meet and see there is no compatibility off -line... Good luck to me, Im still fishing! HA

Cookiedoe

8/13/2013 4:42:03 PM
Member since:
Feb 2012
Total posts:6
worked for me

I met my husband 3 years ago online. I had many bad dates before I met him. I think online was the way to go for me because I didn't have alot of free time to go out and meet people. I also have a few friends that have met there husbands online.


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