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Topic: Adoption Process
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sammy

8/10/2015 10:21:00 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8205
Adoption Process

I am looking for any and all advice on where or how to begin even thinking about adopting. What is the process like? How long? Is it expensive? Do you pick the age? Gender?  
 
I'm also looking for stories and experiences from parents who've adopted and how that went. I'd also love to hear from children who were adopted!! Any ages welcome Feel free to PM me as well  
 
Basically anything about adoption, I'd appreciate knowing!!  
 
Thanks!

 
 
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CRP

8/11/2015 12:06:59 AM
Member since:
Oct 2014
Total posts:140

Honest opinion? Don't do it. The process takes years. We went all the way through it. After over two years, they still didn't have all the paperwork done. This was also while being part of their fostering program for a few years. They are always claiming there are a ton of kids in care and that simply isn't the case. Most of the children needing homes are aboriginal and laws prevent non aboriginals from adopting them.  
 
If you are looking to expand your family, just have your own. CFS will leave you with nothing but disappointment. We also had friends that raised a baby for months after CFS assured them they would be adopting only to have it taken away two days before it was finalized.  
 
If you do decide to go through with it, document EVERYTHING your worker tells you. They have actually been told not to communicate with families through written methods because of how many mistakes are made or workers have said one thing one day and something completely different the next.  
 
Don't get me wrong. CFS is a worthwhile organization but it is a broken one.  
 
Edited by CRP, 2015-08-11 00:08:10

Cdnbabe

8/11/2015 6:21:36 AM
Member since:
Oct 2006
Total posts:278
.

CRP- for one I can't believe you would just say don't do it regarding adoption and tell them to just have a family of their own. You don't know the situation in why they are looking at adoption. Possibly they cannot have a child of their own.  
 
Sammy- there is more options than just CFS. http://www.adoptionoptions.mb.ca is an adoption agency in Winnipeg. I believe you can pick pretty much anything when it comes to getting baby here. Although you have to remember this process can be lengthy and if you specifically pick gender or nationality, etc it limits you and it may take longer. I myself have never adopted but have looked at this website and have spoke with people that have used this agency and speak highly of it.

Bluebell

8/11/2015 7:02:44 AM
Member since:
Jul 2012
Total posts:867
...

From what I understand from friends who have gone through the process, it can take up to 10 years to get a child.  
 
CFS is one option.  
Adoption Options through Winnipeg.  
Foreign adoption - there used to be an agency in Minnedosa, no idea what agencies are around now.  
I have heard (not sure if it's true) you can apply (not sure if its through CFS) in other provinces.  
 
I would call for an apt and get the info for yourself.

sammy

8/11/2015 7:47:38 AM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8205
.

Thanks to everyone who has left a comment so far! I will look more into these suggestions when I can/am ready.  
 
I'm looking for honest, real experiences and I want to know the good and bad. CRP, thank you for your post as well!

L4593

8/11/2015 9:45:55 AM
Member since:
May 2008
Total posts:472

I believe what CRP is getting at is maybe to first exhaust all medical avenues to have your own, whether it be invitro, etc. I only have had dealings with CFS and there are good workers there and some less than desirable ones who clearly have their own agenda in mind. It's a very lengthy process with possible heartache in store, but I suppose it's all about the end game and getting what you really want. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.

Flutterby

8/11/2015 11:52:50 AM
Member since:
Sep 2007
Total posts:1171

Of course, check medical helps out as you are comfortable, and be proactive in exploring what might be interfering. In my case, I discovered that a "safe" medication that I was taking was what was interfering. If you are on anything, do your research on side effects that they might not be telling you. Also check your diet and so on. Sometimes the solution is complicated, sometimes it is simple but illusive.  
 
As for adoption...I second (or third) A.O. heartily!  
 
We went through their weekend session and started through the process only to find out I was expecting, so of course, we did not follow through to the end, but always kept that option open.  
 
The people are really great, fees at the time were on a sliding scale based on your income...no unexpected outrageous costs as you would see doing internationally.  
 
A great idea would be to attend one of their information weekends and ask questions. The price is affordable and in our case that fee would have been put toward other fees if we had continued.  
 
You adopt a newborn baby, not older through A.O. An older child is where CFS would be involved...also in the case of international and interprovincial. We were told that interprovincial can sometimes be harder than international. Both of those are expensive and can come with huge unexpected and sudden expenses.  
 
Quite a few years back there was controversy about CAFAC (international agency) and the way adoptions were implemented. It was covered on the national news. I am mentioning this to encourage you to continue to do your research thoroughly and make sure that you are comfortable with your choice of organization.  
 
You decide on what you are looking for (nationality, preferences as to challenges/not, etc.). Then you fill out a profile, gather pictures, so do birth moms...and they try their best to match you up. The birth mom chooses the couple in the end. You meet in their office to see if you do fit or not and they handle it from there. All adoptions are open (and that is good).  
 
The time frame in which you can be chosen can widely vary. It depends on the birth mom.  
 
They are very honest and helpful in our experience. I would highly encourage you to make an appointment to talk with them when you feel ready.

AndreaD.

9/6/2015 7:46:55 AM
Member since:
Dec 2011
Total posts:686
dave thompson foundation

https://davethomasfoundation.ca/  
 
Dave Thompson (Wendy's) had started an adoption foundation here in Canada. It is supposed to be one if the best. Check it out as one of your options.

CaChristine

9/6/2015 3:23:01 PM
Member since:
Jun 2010
Total posts:625
CRP

Lol what a dumb comment ... "Just have your own"  
 
You do know tons of women can't get pregnant due to medical reasons which is why you go through adoption or surrogate.  
 
Good luck though!!!

Tupperwarelady

9/6/2015 10:18:52 PM
Member since:
Jan 2013
Total posts:469
Wow

To say have your own kids is so ridicoulous !! By the way my two adopted children are my own kids! My husband and I biologically having children wasn't a option. We wanted to be parents more than anything in the world. Our daughter was placed with us may 2014, son was oct 2014 and here we are two weeks ago we signed the papers, they are officially adopted. Now in canada there really is no such thing as closed adoption they all have some opeenes to it . All we do is write a letter and send pictures three times a year and that is okay. Regardless if the circumstances with bio parents they are still expeincing a loss and my heart hurts for them. I have a lot of compassion and can't stand it when anyone says anything bad about them cause they are still people and they are genetically attached to my children.

Tupperwarelady

9/6/2015 10:25:29 PM
Member since:
Jan 2013
Total posts:469
Unbelievabke

So you adopted through cfs and instead of being grateful for what was given to you your telling people not to do it. I am not saying that cfs is right, they make mistakes all the time. They made mistakes with my children but at the end of the day when my child wraps there arms around my neck and says I love you mommy, it's worth every bit. It's worth the eight years of infertility, it's worth the failed ivf , it's worth the fertility drugs and laproscopies, it's worth the 1.5 almost year wait of having them before the adoption. It's worth it all because at the end if the day they have progressed so much in life and they are together being raised together.  
Sad to see you view yours as a disappointment. Sad  
As for your friend, I have no idea who it is but I find it extremely hard that two days before adoption signing they removed the kid??? Generally by that time the adoption society in winnipeg has okayed the adoption and child's advocate would have to have stepped in. Kinda sounds fishy

traveller

9/6/2015 10:33:46 PM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:9048
:)

we went to the interview with cfs and they were very informative about chances and wait times and options, if you did end up adopting older children CFS would pay for outing or hotel stays while you got to know the kids to transition easier, which i thought was nice  
 
we also went through the adoption seminar for an agency in winnipeg, they were very nice to and i believe it was around 30-40k to adopt through them and once the process was started it could go quite quickly, about a year to bring the child to canada, but the scary part was you went to a country, and depending on their factors you were brought to an orphanage and you selected a pic out of a book with information and you then met the child and decided within that visit if you thought you could bond with them, if you said no you got up to three chances i believe and if you didnt select a child then you paid again, they said most were successful and there was a variety of ages but youngest was about 2, altho we were very tempted because we would have loved more kids ultimately we decided against adopting, because of their system if you desired you could adopt siblings and the fees were about the same, so it was suggested if you wanted more to adopt at once

PowerOfaMom

9/8/2015 2:27:21 PM
Member since:
Sep 2015
Total posts:264
question for Traveller

What was the name of the agency in wpg that you went to the seminar for the international adoption? My husband and I are wanting to adopt from another country, and trying to find a good agency to go through. Thanks

Jaxon

9/8/2015 3:09:51 PM
Member since:
Mar 2014
Total posts:409
I know someone

who choose a child out of a picture from a foreign country and when they arrived they could tell that she had dwarfism. But when they asked they were not given an answer, even at the medical exam before they could leave the country. The doctor wouldn't answer. But they accepted her as she was and are happy to have her.

sammy

9/18/2015 11:58:42 PM
Member since:
Sep 2010
Total posts:8205
Surrogacy

Any personal stories on having a baby with a surrogate mother? How do you go about this?

traveller

9/19/2015 6:11:02 PM
Member since:
Jun 2007
Total posts:9048
:)

  
Family4ever said "What was the name of the agency in wpg that you went to the seminar for the international adoption? My husband and I are wanting to adopt from another country, and trying to find a good agency to go through. Thanks "

uaseeadoption.ca/  
 
they do have a few bad press reviews but i found they didnt sugar coat anything, they were up front about the risks, costs and how the process works in the countries we were considering, there are other good agencies too but these guys deal with the countries with the same heritage as us, having another child already we felt it would be more normalized if we looked similar, why we considered them

LittleMissChaos

9/20/2015 10:39:55 AM
Member since:
Jul 2009
Total posts:64
Info Session

Adoption Options offers a free information session. We attended one in May and it was really good. There was an adoptive mother there who explained their process. Check their website, I think the next one is November.

B. Denbow

9/21/2015 10:12:28 AM
Member since:
May 2010
Total posts:15
Not true of all countries

  
traveller said "we went to the interview with cfs and they were very informative about chances and wait times and options, if you did end up adopting older children CFS would pay for outing or hotel stays while you got to know the kids to transition easier, which i thought was nice  
 
we also went through the adoption seminar for an agency in winnipeg, they were very nice to and i believe it was around 30-40k to adopt through them and once the process was started it could go quite quickly, about a year to bring the child to canada, but the scary part was you went to a country, and depending on their factors you were brought to an orphanage and you selected a pic out of a book with information and you then met the child and decided within that visit if you thought you could bond with them, if you said no you got up to three chances i believe and if you didnt select a child then you paid again, they said most were successful and there was a variety of ages but youngest was about 2, altho we were very tempted because we would have loved more kids ultimately we decided against adopting, because of their system if you desired you could adopt siblings and the fees were about the same, so it was suggested if you wanted more to adopt at once "

Sammy, I sent you a pm.  
 
Just a comment for Traveler, I believe that this might be the case for some countries that you can adopt from, but not all countries are like that.


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