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eBrandon Member Wishes


Wish: My wish is for a family
6 Like(s)   

My husband and I are struggling with infertility and a lot of unanswered questions. Upcoming I will be undergoing a lot of procedures to get more answers. I am getting to a point where I feel that this is a sign, why would I go though all this to create a child and not consider the already existing children out there who need homes and parents to love them unconditionally.  
My wish is for the stork to drop off a baby. Unrealistic, but I am looking for leads. Anyone know anyone who has found themself in an unexpected pregnancy and would like to find an adoptive family for their baby?  
We are more than willing to have an open adoption and respect whatever boundaries the birth mom sets.  
We are good people who have aching open arms and have an endless amount of love and patience.  
We are youngish mature professionals ready to be parents.  
 
Bless all of you who have children, treasure them, bless all of you have have walked the mile plus in my shoes, I hope all of your family dreams have come true!  

 
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Comments (50 total)


Michelle Budiwski2/27/2011 1:17:11 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
I am sorry that you have to struggle with infertility. I too have issues and have undergone IVF twice and a FET once already with more to come.  
 
While I can't drop off a baby for you, I can offer some support through the process and give you some experienced stories and a shoulder when needed.
na
2/27/2011 11:49:16 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Thank You, I am sure you understand all too well how I feel. Good Luck with your future procedures :)
Michelle Budiwski2/28/2011 6:13:42 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Yes I do and I have found that as supportive and as understanding most people are, they just don't 'get' it, only somoene going through the process can.  
 
My first IVF in 2004 was successful and gave me my daughter. My second didn't work and we ended up with 11 frozen embyos. We tried one transfer of 2 so far that ended in a chemical pregnancy which was hard, very hard to deal with. We still have 8 more to try before we are done - I figure that there has to be a baby in there somewhere LOL
sweetum22
2/28/2011 6:09:05 PM
Member since:
Feb 2009
I just want to wish you both the best of luck. We've been trying to have a baby for the past 4 years without much luck. I had my tubes tied after my son was born, but when he passed away we decided we wanted to try again.  
We've considered Invetro, but the expense of it really shut us down quickly!  
Anyway, good luck for both of you, children really are a blessing!
na
2/28/2011 11:09:56 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Sweetmum22 what a horrible and tragic thing. I will add you in my wishes and I hope things turn out in your favour. Hugs.
Michelle Budiwski3/1/2011 6:21:56 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
sweetum - you are right, IVF is insanely expensive - although now with the fertility tax credit, you can get some back. There are organizations that will help with the expense of IVF:  
 
Check out http://www.givinghope.ca/  
 
They may be able to help!
na
3/1/2011 7:30:51 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Butterfly, we looked into giving hope, there is not much online other than how to apply and that you need a doctors referal. Do you have more information?
Michelle Budiwski3/1/2011 8:07:36 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Sorry I don't really - I know that Heartland has some brochures and stuff on it, I can grab you some next time I am there but I bet if you call Giving Hope, they would email you out some info.  
 

*Mittens*
3/1/2011 9:19:17 AM
Member since:
Mar 2008
I really truly hope that everything works out for you. You are in my thoughts.
na
3/1/2011 10:57:19 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
I got some info last month when at Heartland, but never really got a lot out of it. But maybe later when somethings get confirmed etc and if we are canidates for IVF, then I will likely figure it out then.
Michelle Budiwski3/1/2011 11:09:32 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
If you do have to go through IVF - let me know - it can be a very emotional, not to mention physically draining journey and I have broad shoulders!!!  
 
and if you do, I am hope that 'giving hope' can you help you!  
 
We are doing another transfer this month - cross your fingers and toes for us and send some sticky baby dust! LOL
na
3/1/2011 12:38:57 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
I will do better, I will even cross my toes for you!
caringmom
3/1/2011 10:09:26 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
Have any of you considered seeing a traditional chinese doctor to have acupuncture/herbs. Also have heard that reflexology can help open the meridians to conceive. Doesn't hurt to try. Chinese herbs is how i was able to have my second child
Michelle Budiwski3/2/2011 6:09:37 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
There is no proceedure that will help me conceive but IVF - I have no other option. While alternative methods may help for some, it will not help me. Most women who go through the pain, expense and emotional train wreck that is IVF wouldn't do so if it wasn't their last option.
na
3/2/2011 9:53:23 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
I too can not rely on any alternative medicane as my issue is anatomical.
chocolatebar
3/2/2011 1:06:33 PM
Member since:
Mar 2007
I had a child over 14 years ago, they said a miracle at that time...I was told that due to a gyne disease I could not have more...and was on the waiting list for a hysterectomy....while waiting on that list I got pregnant...I have a 6 month old little girl...when the doctors gave up, and I had over 14 years ago...it happened...with hope, medical help and luck I wish that on you as well...chin up...I hope the best for you
na
3/3/2011 1:15:57 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Thanks. I am happy for you and your family, sounds perfect :) You are blessed!  

Michelle Budiwski3/3/2011 5:58:14 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
yes Jennifer, congratulations.
puddles
3/3/2011 7:05:09 AM
Member since:
Aug 2009
What about fostering a little one and creating some love and blessings in a child that may need either a long term or temporary home---can be very rewarding! Just a thought??? I understand completely that it is not the same, but it gives you the chance to spread your love around and pay it forward....
Michelle Budiwski3/3/2011 7:51:43 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
No it isn't something I am interested in doing again. I have fostered in the past and found it too difficult to have to give those poor children back to parents I knew were unfit. I personally just can't do that and admire those that can.
na
3/9/2011 8:50:19 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
I would like to add an editiorial to my wish:  
 
I have recieved a lot of farce messages in response to my wish. I am not interested in any illegal activites such as black market baby buying and just so you are aware, that is illegal even suggesting it.  
I do not want to jump the gun on any of the serious messages I have recieved, but I just want to let others out there know that infertility is a very painful emotionalo roller coaster. When nature abandons you, you are easy to lose hope. My empty arms ache some days when I see Mothers out there with their children.  
Please do not discredit the heartache I feel.
Michelle Budiwski3/9/2011 8:53:57 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
I am so sorry Bumble Bee that you are going through this. I know first hand the pain that you feel.  
 
(((HUGS)))
Cheezies
3/9/2011 9:53:17 PM
Member since:
Oct 2010
Oh Bumble Bee....I truly hope you get your wish. I'm not gonna pretend I know what your going through, but keep your head up and don't give up hope. It's people like you that deserve children, and I hope you are able to have your wish.  
My prayers and hugs are with you.....
Spaghettihead
3/9/2011 11:22:32 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
I feel for the person who posted this as My husband and I have been struggling with it for almost 4 years. There are so many people out there having kids when they can't afford it, abusing there children, or having 5 by the time they are 25 and it makes me sad. We are good poeple and jsut want to have baby that looks jsut like us and to have our own family:) I feel for you it destroys me every month when I get my "wonderful" vistor:(
Michelle Budiwski3/10/2011 6:02:23 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
JJJ101009 - I am sorry for what you are going through and can completely understand. Bumble Bee and I ahve been talking about starting an Infertility Support Group here in Westman if you are interested - just to get together and talk.  
 
iseedouble - thank you for sharing. I can't see anyone judging you or anyone else for giving up a child for adoption - it is one of the most selfless things you can do!
na
3/10/2011 8:26:07 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
JJJ and iseedouble thanks for your words of encouragement, it is sad that there are more people out there who feel the way I do. There are so many little triggers that impact my emotions daily, when my husband goes away for work it is hard to come home to an empty house, reminds me that my goal in life was to be a Mother, stay home like my Mum did and be there for my children and husband. It is bittersweet when friends and family start having babies and starting their families. I get frustrated when I see people i have not seen for a few years and they ask if I have children yet. Or just some people ask innocently when we plan to have our own children. It is an emotional roller coaster that hurts people in different ways.  
I KNOW my marriage is strong and we are soul mates but somedays I wonder, would he leave me because I am broken and unable to give him the family he also wants. It is a spiral that somedays consumes me.  
I continue to go to work everyday and carry on with my life as best as I can otherwise this feeling will consume me and takeover my life.  
I refuse to allow that to happen.
Spaghettihead
3/10/2011 1:32:32 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
omg!! I would love that, to get together and talk about this. I really would. My husbant always says it will happen, its jsut gonna take alot of work. But every month when that visitor comes and with every pregnancy test i take that comes back negative, a part of me dies inside. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I had one friend and she was sort of in the same boat and she would get mad when I talked about it cuase she was starting to hit menopause and I am not. But yes a support group is definitly needed for this. It does hurt when freinds and family have babies. it hurts more when i see poeple who are having there third child and don't have anything to do with the other two. All I ever watned out of life is to be loved and have chidren. Well I got the loved part:) . The feeling broken part, absoltly do I feel this way. My father has like 12 kids(not all by my mom)(he was "popular") so I never thought I would have this problem.
Michelle Budiwski3/10/2011 1:44:05 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Well let's do it then!!! Since we all seem to be online during the day - maybe we can meet for coffee one afternoon?
Spaghettihead
3/10/2011 10:09:53 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
I am available most eveings and most weekend, I would love to meet other people in the same boat as my husband and I. A support group perhaps?
Angels2012
3/10/2011 10:58:44 PM
Member since:
Jan 2009
What??? i agree with butterfly on this...
Spaghettihead
3/10/2011 11:26:55 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
on what????
Angels2012
3/11/2011 12:09:56 AM
Member since:
Jan 2009
yes they sure do.  
That lady dont know what it's like not to have kids and she says that.  
I mean i have a daughter myself and i would never wish something like that on a woman that has a heart ache because she is having a hard time conceving.  
I been thinking of being a surrigate person, but then im not sure if thats a good thing.
Spaghettihead
3/11/2011 12:13:03 AM
Member since:
Dec 2009
It is tough not being able to concieve, its even harder when people know who you are and give you no guidance, support or throw it in your face. I have had "a supposed family member do it" it hurts
Angels2012
3/11/2011 12:27:02 AM
Member since:
Jan 2009
that sucks, sorry to hear that. i guess families can also not be supportive eaither. But then you have your husband thats with you all along i am sure of
Spaghettihead
3/11/2011 12:30:31 AM
Member since:
Dec 2009
ohh he is wonderful, the best thing that ever happened to me
Angels2012
3/11/2011 12:32:33 AM
Member since:
Jan 2009
thats good :)
wendy10
4/3/2011 10:22:27 PM
Member since:
Feb 2011
I had infertility in my 30's. The Dr. put me on "Clomid" drug and it worked right away to help me conceive. I wouldn't have my 2 kids today, I know, without Clomid. Best thing that ever happened...
NA
4/8/2011 3:18:50 PM
Member since:
Dec 2009
I wish i could have babies for you! i have been blessed with 4 children. and the pregnancies were good. I wish there was a surrogacy agency to sign up for! im only 30...been to school and college...there are so many options out there for family planning....i pray all of you are able to conceive or find the option that works for you.  
 
good luck....and glad there are other for you to chat with!
Michelle Budiwski4/8/2011 3:30:06 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Luckie - you absolutely can be a surrogate in Canada - you just can't accept money for it. http://www.surrogacy.ca/
NA
4/8/2011 3:35:40 PM
Member since:
Sep 2009
There is a clinic in WPG where surrogacy can happen in the way the wife and husband have their embryos transfered into the surrogate female or even a surrogate female can donate her eggs.  
 
Heartland does it. I had my twins by IVF and so during that fertility journey I was part of a support group at Heartland and learned a bunch of different ways how one can conceive or even help those who needed eggs or even embryos.  
 
I was told was told to not get pregnant again by our OB. So we decided too donated our embryo's to a couple (we found the couple on a internet support forum) in the USA who were on a waiting list for donated embryo's. That was before the clinic/company Snowflakes was started! That couple who we donated our embryo's too also went on to have twins boys as well.
Michelle Budiwski4/8/2011 5:10:30 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Heartland is the only fertility clinic in Manitoba. They don't handle surrogacy per se as that is more of a legal issue, they do the transfers and proceedures. If you really want to be a surrogate though - contact them and they will put you on the right track.
NA
4/8/2011 5:43:29 PM
Member since:
Sep 2009
butterfly Heartland was willing to let my sister in law be our surrogate if I was unable to conceive so perhaps they only do it if you know the surrogate female? I was also going to donate my eggs to a girlfriend who was also going through Heartland. My girlfriend got pregnant before I was to start the treatment plan for harvesting my eggs. the birth control to shut down my "system" then the needles to put it back into overdrive etc....  
 
I know from reading posts you have also dealt/deal with Heartland as well so we have different answers. Have things changed??? Or is it that they will only do a surrogate IVF with a known friend/family member as was the possibility with my treatment plan????  
 
This was all in 2000-2001 when I was with Heartland. although I still saw Dr K who performed surgeries on me after 2003.
J-La-La
4/8/2011 6:27:02 PM
Member since:
Mar 2008
Bumble bee,  
I rememeber all too well going through what you are going through! It took me 6 years going back and forth to Heartland till I had my daughter and then another 3 and a half to have my set of twins. With help from my DR and my very supportive husband I was blessed with my 3 girls and on their first birthday I found out I was pregnant again... all on my own... with no help at all!!! It can happen to people with infertity issues What I love it that you reached out and that you are seeking support. 7 years ago, I didn't have that and I know that it would have helped to have a support network. I joined a messsage board on line with people who have the same condition as me and what gave me the most hope was when other people with infertility were able to share their experiences and let me know that it can happen...  
I hope for you that it happens..  
Don't give up on Heartland, sometimes I felt like it was taking so long but in the end it worked out. Now, I appreciate my children so much, they are my little miracles!!!  
Keep reaching out and stay positve.. I wish for your wish to come true!!!
NewStartInLife
4/8/2011 6:30:28 PM
Member since:
Mar 2011
This Is So Sad To Hear. I know a girl who is turning18 next month and she is pregant with her 3rd an 4th chldren. Her first tw have been taken away aready. Not to say that teen pregnacy isnt uexpected, but, come on. This is insane. I Think these twins she is carrying should be in you.
Michelle Budiwski4/8/2011 7:03:43 PM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Honestly i don't know much about surrogacy except that things have changed legally in the fertility world in the past couple of years.  
 
Heartland is a medical clinic - they will perform the proceedures but legal documentation and parental rights have to be waived and signed with council. That is all I know.  
 
Through my fertility issues, (2 IVF, 2 FET) - surrogacy and adoption are not things I have really cnsidered so I can't say much about in detail.
NA
4/8/2011 7:51:17 PM
Member since:
Sep 2009
Your right Butterfly I am sure as IVF has become more far more common now then it was even 10 yrs ago there are many new "rules" and "legal" laws have changed greatly.  
 
You are incredible to have undergone 2 IVF and 2 FET. Butterfly how you managed to have the strength to do all that is amazing. I know that I could never have been able to do all that you have Butterfly.  
 
We decided we would only try once with IVF and if that failed we would considered ourselves blessed just raising my (our) daughter Kaela(former marriage) together.  
 
I will always be grateful at least I had Heartland to turn too and we were blessed with our twins!  
 
 
I have no idea what Heartland does to this day as it has been a decade for me since my IVF. I just remembered my sister in law offered to carry for us and Heartland was willing to work on that with us if our IVF attempt failed. Our IVF worked so I never went any further then that. Also Heartland in early 2002 sent our embryos to the couple in the USA to their fertility clinic but the couple had to rent their own container and have it shipped to Heartland. The couples fertility couldn't send a container to our clinic. That is why the couple had to rent their won container. We were the first clients of Heartland to so it. We had to go through the legal system regarding that and also the wife and I also had to have MMPI testing done as......it was different and I just thought if Heartland were willing to consider my sister in law that Heartland did it???? Perhaps it is only because she was family and we knew her that is why they considered her???? Never really asked or sought out the legality of the situation since we never used it.
na
4/10/2011 11:34:51 AM
Member since:
Jul 2010
It may seem like there are sooo many options out there for people who can not concieve, but in truth there are not. Not all options are available to everyone. A friend of mine could not be helped by Heartland as they have 'Unexplained Infertility" which makes no one feel better when your own symptoms stump the medical world... So they went on to adoption and have been waiting for a few years now but because of their age, (early 40's) their agency feels they may never get chosen. Yet, the agency still took their money and accepted them as clients, only for them to be told they are too old.  
It is a frustrating path and your faith and marriage or relationship with your partner can be rocked to the core.  
Some lose faith or lose their partner.  
April is Infertility Awareness month, among many other awareness months, please remember those who have empty arms and may never knwo the joys of being a parent due to whatever reason they can not have children.  
 
If you are expecting, your friend who is under going any treatments (past present in the midst) your friend may not be able to share your joy... YET. Please be patient with those people in your life, in time they can share your joy, but be a friend and share their sorrow too and they can be a friend and share your joy!  
 
Many Blessings to you all!  
 
Hugs!  
Bumble Bee  
 

Michelle Budiwski4/10/2011 11:52:12 AM
Member since:
Apr 2009
Very well said BumbleBee. During our last fresh IVF, my best friends found out they were pregnant by 'accident' - it was devestating at first, but when we found out the IVF didn't work, I emailed her - told her that I loved her but just wasn't able to deal with seeing her or able to be happy or excited for her YET. She completely undertood and I distanced myself from her for about a week until I could come to terms with things. After that, it was back to friendship as usual. No one who hasn't gone through it can even come close to understanding.  
 
I have started a new blog about my steps through the infertility process, I am keeping it current and also going back to document what has occurred over the past 10 years since I have been TTC. I hope it helps people who are also on the journey and even those who aren't to maybe understand just a little bit better.  
 
http://ivfbabysteps.blogspot.com/  

na
4/10/2011 12:09:16 PM
Member since:
Jul 2010
Butterfly,  
I am sorry you are dealing with what you are right now. I have no clue what you are feeling and I would never want to take that away from you and tell you that I knwo exactly how you feel.  
 
Cliches are meant to be left at the door. Just because you do not agree with something someone has done or chosen to do, does not give you permission to speak your mind.  
 
God's will, Just relax, if it is meant to be- it will happen, try putting your ankles up in the air for 30 minutes post, why don't you try this..., why don't you try that....? If you just relax it will happen, be patient these things take time...  
All of this I have heard. All of this I have chosen to ignore. I am sorry but relaxing and doing the trapeaze will not correct an anatomical abnormality!  
People who are diagnosed with cancer will try ANY methood out there to give them more time or to cure them... Would you say to someone who is experiencing Chemo it is God's will that they have cancer? Dear God, I would hope not!  
 
I do not need anyone to solve my problems, that is why the world has professional trained individuals for whatever area in your life you need if you sek their assistance. I need a friend a should an ear someone to listen to me and acknowledge my hurt and share in the good and the bad.  
 
I am not consumed by grief on a daily basis that I am not a parent. I continue to live life to the fullest and continue to grow as a person and keep faith that I will someday soon be a Mother.  
 
I can not speak for those who are in the same boat as me, but I can say, ask someone if they are comfortable talking about their situation. When someone has travelled to and from Winnipeg or where ever to explore other options, they tend to know their stuff and have likely come to terms with their unique situation and therefore can either educate you on appropriateness or questions or comments.  
 
 

Mom1572
12/29/2014 9:58:32 PM
Member since:
Feb 2010
Pm you

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