Discussions

Anyone else dread going home for Xmas ? I do .

Until I stopped going the sooner that I stopped doing things I “dread”, the happier I became…. I don’t do the whole “Christmas” thing. I will meet with my family any other time of the year, but not out of obligation to a season. And not when presents are “required“. No strings attached dinners and conversations are the ONLY thing I do. My family understands it, as I have made my reasons clear, and whether they all are unhappy or not, I personally don’t really care . As harsh as that is. I refuse to play into the holiday madness and depression that comes with it.

I agree with the other comment.  
 
If going to Christmas fills you with dread don’t do it.  
 
You are not required to do things that make you unhappy. Especially when those things can require a lot of time, effort and money from you.  
 
It’s really freeing to put yourself first and do what you want. You don’t need to explain yourself or give a reason either. A polite no rsvp is all you need to do.

I saw a shirt this weekend at Peavy Mart. Said "Home for Christmas and In Therapy for New Years" - LOL

This is the kind of things I will have to deal with so stressful it's all the time  
dislikes my man friend I'm stuck in the middle of them  
use to much water  
eat to much drink to much  
do not feel welcome  
walking on eggshells  
I'm their only person to spend Xmas with then if I said we are not coming has a hissy fit .  
Pray for me people

It really sounds like this person not only makes Christmas a nightmare, but may also be having a negative impact on your mental health. These complaints are nothing anyone should ever have to listen to from anyone, let alone someone that you know and have any kind of relationship with. Cut them off. Sounds like a crappy thing to do, I know, but this person seems to be causing you a lot of anxiety, and that's not good for anyone. If you say you're not coming and they through a hissy fit, hang up, or leave. It's their own tough tooties for being miserable in the first place. enjoy your holidays with your man friend's family, if that is an option, or just the two of you. Whatever makes you feel good and loved, do that.

Just don't go.  
Then you are not stuck between them & your man friend.  
You won't use any water.  
You won't eat or drink too much.  
You won't feel unwelcome.  
You won't be walking on eggshells.  
You won't be manipulated by the hissy fit.  
Just don't go.  
 
Edited by daisygirl, 2023-11-27 11:54:09

They are using the hissy fits to control and manipulate you into going there for Christmas.  
You are their victims.  
You have to take a stand and say "no". No excuses or explanations.  
"No" is a complete sentence.  
 
I'm glad this has been brought up. There are likely others who are in the same situation. I certainly was.

How did things work out for you?  
Hope it turned out well.

we had our moments .  
the best part was spending time in the barn with the cats .