Discussions

In the end all that matters is that you are married. Small details won't be noticed by other people. The day goes by way too fast so enjoy every moment.

I would have had a smaller wedding (we had about 100 people), I would have had a brunch instead of a supper with champagne instead of a bar, I would have had a different dress.  
 
Like Jojojo says, all that matters is that you are married. I wish we hadn't spend as much on the party and spent/saved it on life instead.

Keep it small, keep it simple.  
 
That thousand dollar dress you think you need for that day sits in your closet until you finally get annoyed and get rid of it for $20 in a yard sale, because you realized there is no way your daughter will want to wear that style when her day comes.  
 
The best wedding we have been to were more relaxed and not fancy.  
 
It is a party to celebrate your marriage, not to impress anyone or make any family member other than the two of you happy. Why not treat it as such and put less pressure on yourself to cater to anyone else?

I would have gotten a proper photographer who knows about wedding pictures and can reign in a group of people to get great pictures. I also would have gotten a better dress that I loved instead of settling for one because of running out of time before the wedding. And last of all would have made sure I had a good MC for the night. That's about it. Yes in the end you are marrying someone you love and that's the most important thing but when you are paying so much for the day you want there to be no regrets

Make sure your wedding is your style and not the latest Pinterest trend.  
 

i wouldve had less people.. we as well had around 100 people... we both wanted a smaller wedding but unfortunately parents wanted people there as well, (including a person who I just do not like at all). But other than that it was perfect, and everything i wanted

Would have kicked my one bridesmaid out of the wedding party and had a smaller wedding. We had about 140 ppl at the wedding, approximately 120 too many. Lol!  
 
Don't sweat the small stuff, it's your day!!!!!

Nothing I loved our wedding!!  
 
We got married on the Martese boat at clear lake. Less than 50 people, loved it because we could only have a certain amount of people so we didn't have parents trying to add people they want. Had the ceremony, a delicious supper, some time to visit and it was over four hours later! We had lots of compliments about the wedding.  
 
Got a photographer to take photos before the wedding. Bought a gorgeous dress (I know some people say it's not a big deal but it was important to me to have the dress!), went to David's bridal where it only cost 600 not in the 1000s.  
 
Barely had to do any work, made easy centrepieces and seating chart/name cards. Put everything in a box and the guys took it too the boat and picked up and that was it, no setting up or cleaning up!

I would have not had my sister in the wedding party. Most of my frustrations were because of her. Don't let people pressure you to do what you don't want. The best advice I got was the day before during set up and decorations from the best man. They told me it's my wedding and it's what I want and to tell the people pressuring me to back off, and do it the way I wanted.

Not a darn thing" Right from the start it was a celebration of family and friends and the fact that I wanted to share my life with someone who loved me and everything I was. It was about looking forward, not about the day. That is a concept that is a hard sell given the commercialism that the wedding industry is trying to tell young people they just cannot live without. Still going strong after 27 years. We focussed on our marriage, not our wedding.

pretty much everything lol but i agree its the marriage that counts  
 
i would say i agree with the photographer, they dont have to cost a huge amount but do spend to get someone from town that you like  
 
and also keep it small and simple and AFFORDABLE, get the dress you want but dont worry about the details of the rest, invite who you want ect just keep it in your budget, knowing that you will have to pay a bit for a nice time but it doesnt have to cost as much as a new car or house to be great  
 
one of the best weddings i went to was a back yard pot luck BBQ, the couple supplied the meat and the rest was brought, it was nice, casual and fun and they dint end up owing a ton they needed to pay off for the rest of their lives

I spent a lot of time keeping the guest list at a certain number, and stressed over who not to invite and who got guests just to keep it at that number. Keep in mind that 10-20% of people will not come. I now wish I had just invited all the "maybes" and not worried about it so much.

The hard way! Lol: don't be one of those guys who leaves your soon to be wife to make every decision about the wedding. It is impossible for her to do it all by herself!!! The future husband has to take an active role in the decision making process other wise the woman will drive herself insane and that is just not fair to your future spouse. I was that guy! When she asked me "what I thought" the response was "IDK, it's your wedding" totally not right and not fair. We are still together going strong after 11 years I hope lol. Like wise don't be one of those domineering, demanding let's spend all the money in the world on "things" future wife.Seriously, the best money you can spend if you have some extra cash is try to find a great wedding planner ( even if it is just for a quick couple consultations with you and your husband): some one that has impartial advice: (no, not your family members they are NOT wedding planners no matter how many times they were married and this goes double for the family member who is not married but has all the "BEST" wedding advice in the world run away, run away. I repeat do not hire any family members to do anything for your wedding) to include catering, photos, making wedding invitations,making wedding cakes, ect, ect this is a really, really bad idea even if they promise you to do it on the cheap.Your expectations for your wedding day will be extremely high no matter who you hire or for what cost you hire them for: so if the wedding invitations are screwed up by your "computer designer" sister you have to Hate her for the rest of your life instead of the entire family bonding together and hating / boycotting said "company". Remember weddings are the best celebrations ever: until family and busy bodies get involved. Prior to announcing the wedding date you and your husband must have an unbreakable pact, with an unbreakable plan and that way you do not initiate advice from family members / know it all friends because once you open that can of worms it begins. Together you must stick to your plan and not waiver (the best part about this is you can always cut back on the spending if a parent "pulls" any funding because she cannot break into or destroy your plan)you can say NO our plan is THIS your plan is THAT if you are not on board see you later!!!!!!

We had a small wedding and big reception, it was great! The only thing I would have done different was buy a cheaper dress, cause now it sits in a box in my closet.

I'm pretty happy with mine. In 11 weeks we planned and executed a wedding of almost 300 on a budget and I wouldn't take back a single invite.  
 
I would have gotten someone to film the ceremony. We had a big Catholic ceremony with a 30 person African choir and nobody took any video! lol. Also I would have vetted our DJ better.

The key thing for us was to get a good venue. Reception venue was easy for us, but wedding venue was difficult (not getting married in a church).  
 
If getting married outdoors, have an indoor backup. You never know what the weather will be like, and being able to switch to a backup at the last second saved us.  
 
Only thing I would change, clearer instructions for our limo driver, and a better timing plan for how long we would take on photos.

I agree - it's about you and what you want. In the end, I would have done mine smaller, and hired a really good photographer. All the details you think matter, really don't. It's about celebrating your marriage! Congrats and have fun planning

It is only a day, but can hold good memories. Have an inexpensive (it doesn't have to be small to be so), personal, fun day.  
 
Prepare for marriage itself beforehand, but be aware that there are always surprises and often a steep learning curve after the day. I feel a person is never really fully prepared for the realities ahead. You are making a very important promise that day. Treat this life long promise to your partner seriously and stick to your word for the rest of your life. There will be days ahead that will certainly test it, but it can all be worked through.  
 
Basically, don't be selfish: respect your partner. Keep communication open. Don't go to bed angry with the other. Be quick to forgive and make amends.  
 
Good:  
1. Didn't spend much at all on the wedding dress...nothing in fact.  
 
2. meal: cold cuts & cheese, veggie and fruit trays, juice, coffee & tea. No caterer. Family & friends kept things going.  
 
3. Wedding cake done by family & a friend.  
 
4. Have willing friends and family help out. Designate people to certain tasks. Ask well in advance to confirm, check closer to the day.  
 
5. We invited a lot of people. I should have invited more. We had many leftovers...  
It was a celebration and I wanted to share it. I have never regretted that. I should have invited those passing by on the street. haha  
 
6. We kept everything (including some personal favorite food choices) very simple and personal, and really inexpensive. It did not cost an arm and a leg.  
 
7. Keep decorations simple, but personal.  
 
8. We did not do a dance and booze. We didn't have either by choice and it was an excellent decision.  
 
9.Be done early in the day. You don't want to be tired when you leave.  
 
10. Pay for it all yourself.  
 
11. Consider opinions. Use only those that you think are constructive. I think opinions could have been much more had money for the wedding come from family.  
 
10. Someone pushed to be invited only because they were friends with the parents (someone I was not a fan of) and that was frustrating at the time. If that is the case, say a firm no if you wish, but it really didn't hurt me in the end for them to come and everyone was happy. Looking back, I now consider my initial reaction selfish.  
 
11. I was happy to invite families with children (even large families). That should be a part of marriage...families, so I welcomed them as a unit. Less hassles for them, more happiness for all. It was not a question in my mind.  
 
12. I did my own makeup.  
 
Changes:  
1. Make sure your hairdresser is super clear about what you want. Do a trial visit.  
 
2. Get a good and creative photographer. See their work beforehand and discuss what pictures you might like. Agree on a price that suits you. It doesn't have to break you. On that note, get some guests to take impromptu pictures. We had some given to us as gifts. They can be fun memories.  
 
3. Make sure you have someone to do the physical decorating for you. It saves a lot of hassles the day before.  
 
4. I had entertained having cheesecake instead of a standard white cake that day, but forgot. That would have been easier decorating wise, and so very tasty.  
 
5. I would tell guests to come as they are...jeans & t-shirt, lol...no need to dress up unless they wanted to. Relax.  
 
If you are planning, take breaks, have fun. If you get stressed, designate, take a break. Make notes. Keep it simple. Enjoy.

KISS. Keep it simple stupid!! Don't go crazy, too much stress , too much money!!  

I was going to mention that the absolute BEST thing we did for our wedding was not go one penny into debt to have it. I can't stress enough how good it felt to not have to go into any extra debt to start our marriage.

I wouldn't have had mine at all.

so many say it. There were several who already posted that. Invite who you want and do not feel guilty for not inviting someone your parents thought you should. I have said that to my own kids their whole lives and then I did in fact ask them to invite a few I know they would rather not have. Wrong of me. If only you could not cause a family riff by not inviting those annoying relatives.  
Oh well.  
The other thing I would say is stay till the end and enjoy every minute of your day. We thought we had to leave and do the wedding night in a hotel an hour away. while everyone else stayed and enjoyed the party and we went straight to bed lol.  
Make it your wedding day not the parents day not the wedding party's day ... it is the couples wedding and they alone should be the ones enjoying it.  
save money where you can. simple is much more enjoyable and like someone said already do not go into debt or put family into debt either. Much more important things to do with money then splurge for a show.  
Be strong when parents put in their 2 cents and even if they are footing some of the bill. explain its yours and stand strong. hurt feelings will fade if it was for the right reasons and you enjoy yourself.  

I am in the process of planning my wedding and just wondering... What are the things you would have differently?  
What are the things that you wish you would have done?  
What are the things that you really didn't need in the end?  
 
1.) Not get married  
2.) The man I said yes too  
 
pretty much sums it up  
 
#happilydivorced  

Jaxon said "I wouldn't have had mine at all. "

I was thinking the exact same thing but in the end, the wedding was awesome!! I wouldn't have changed a thing:  
 
We did everything together and decisions were made together. Everything from decorations and invitations, to food served, booze and tent/band rentals. I think the only thing we didn't make/arrange for/create/hire/rent etc was the person who stole about $500 from the "donations".  
 
As for the marriage? That is a different story.

Kimmie34 said "Would have kicked my one bridesmaid out of the wedding party and had a smaller wedding. We had about 140 ppl at the wedding, approximately 120 too many. Lol!     Don't sweat the small stuff, it's your day!!!!! "

Agreed. I had one bridesmaid cause me so much grief. Smaller wedding for sure!

Thank you everyone for responding...

Jaxon said "I wouldn't have had mine at all. "

Was waiting for someone to say that...

I let my in-laws pick a lot of stuff out because we got married at 18 and they paid for most of it. But we did have a fantastic day for the most part. They did hire a family member to do the photo's and I absolutely hate them. I do not like one picture from that day and I will never get that back. Yes photographers are expensive now but if that is one thing your really wanting, spend the money or you will never be satisfied.  
My hair was the other thing. What I had envisioned is NOT what it came out like and of course it was that morning and never had a consult. I would definitely go for a consult before to find what you like.  
We are still happily married 11 years later but I also still think about these things and if we ever have a renewal I am for sure making it the way I want. And having a bachlorette party cause I never got one of those either. ha ha  
Enjoy your day! and eat and stay hydrated or the stress will be overwhelming.

photographer - make sure you are getting someone who knows what they are doing - especially during a destination wedding. Some destination resorts aren't very good at that sort of thing. Everything else went well for us!