Discussions

1. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.  
 
2. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.  
 
3. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.  
 
4. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.  
 
5. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.  
 
5. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.  
 
6. Burning the " midnight oil " now begins roughly at 8:00 P.M.  
 
7. You feel like the morning after, yet you haven't been anywhere yet.  
 
8. You know all the answers, but nobody askes the questions anymore.  
 
9. You know " where it's at " but forgot why it's there.  
 
10. You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.  
 
11. You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch T.V.  
 
12. You remember what you did yesterday by what hurts today.  
 
13. You worry because you don't have any symptoms.  
 
14. After painting the town red, you can no longer apply a second coat.  
 
15. Dialing long distance wears you out.  
 
16. It takes you longer to recover than it did to tire you out.  
 
17. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt -doesn't work.  
 
18. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your trifocals.  
 
19. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.  
 
20. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.  
 
21. Your back goes out more often than you do.  
 
22.Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.  
 
23.You and your teeth don't sleep together.  
 
24. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.  
 
25. You have more patience, but it is actually that you don't care anymore.  
 
26. Your knees buckle but your belt won't.  
 
27.You turn out the light for economic reasons rather than romantic.  
 
28. Your actions creak louder than your words.  
 
29. Getting " lucky " means you found your car in the parking lot.  
 
30. When " happy hour " is a nap.  
 
31. At the breakfast table you hear Snap, Crackle, and Pop and you're not eating cereal.