Discussions

Any one here, have the lovely experience of going to the doctors and having the doctor say...it could be Cancer, I'll order some tests and make an appointment for you, to see some one, and then, they put you on hold for a month or more to see some specialist?  
 
Funny how you can try to block s*^t out of your head, while you try not to go F*^n nuts.  
It funny how they just spit it out like that in the office..Cancer.  
Funny at first you get kinda stunned, but then you realize its kinda like when you pull of a band aid, better to be quick about it.  
Then as the time to see the specialist gets closer, you start to get more and more scared, and you think if you don't go to the appointment, things will just go away.  
And the closer the time come the more and more you just want to run and run and run.  
And you wonder if its gone hurt and you wonder it is gone really mess up the few people that give a good dam if you live or die.  
And that make you feel like crap also.  
What if you have this S**T in you, what then?  
What then smart guy huh?  
 
And you think F**ck it, I am not gone die in some hospital, and you think and wonder, if going through the pain you always hear people talking about, is worth the time you may loose doing stuff you always wanted to.  
Dieing is something you could live with,  
but i think the dirtiest crappyist part, is the thought of how it may hurt the ones that give a good dam about you.  
If it was just you only you, you could probably crawl of to some dark corner of the world with a big bottle of whiskey and and die in peace and quite.  
But its the other people, the other people, and how you will hut them, thats the only reason you let the universe put the boots to you one lost time.  
 
Still it could be ok, may be it nothing, may be the doctor was guessing wrong.  
Yah thats it, she was just guessing, she could be wrong....right...right?  
Funny how some will think about other people, and put up with so much, for there sake.  
 
Any one here, have the lovely experience of going to the doctors and having the doctor say...it could be Cancer, I'll order some tests and make an appointment for you, to see some one, and then, they put you on hold for a month or more to see some specialist?  
 
What did you do, while you were waiting and going nuts, trying to block s*^t out of your head, while you go on, till you find out for sure.  
 
What was it like for you?  
I need to know.