Discussions

I know that this is going to start a huge beef will people but I feel it just needs to be said.  
 
I am overweight and currently trying to lose weight but am being unsuccessful. I have been swimming 10 hours/week eating a low calorie diet (around 1400) for a year and have lost no weight been to seen doctors and they don't know whats wrong.  
 
To make matters work I require (several)surgery on my feet that I have had since I was born, but I need to be a certain weight. therefore I wear braces and it is hard for me to walk.  
 
When I get out of my car I get stares, and head shakes. But when a normal adult parks and comes out without children there is never a second look.  
 
I doesn't seem like much but it still makes you feel like a loser, console in your friends?? sorry I don't have any.  
 
It just hurts when you are lonely.

I'm sorry that this happened to you, that you have to feel this way. It's hard and it sucks

People are honestly cruel, and I'm so sorry that people judge you like that. But i will tell you, you are not alone!  
 
For the last 5 years I've been battling herniated discs, and I just had my second spinal surgery almost two weeks ago. Due to my inability to be as active as I used to be, I too have put on serious amounts of weight in which I'm also trying to change. Whenever I use the handicap stalls, with MY pass, someone always looks at me like "how is this young person in a handi stall" and I've had a few people approach me saying "this is for REAL handicaps, not because your lazy" and even being told I could use the walk!! Little do they know, walking is the hardest part of the day for people like who have disabilities.  
 
Again, I am so sorry that people are so evil. ): but they can shove it.  
 
If you ever need a supportive work out partner, I'm all yours. Swimming is all I can do! And aquafit at the Y is my fave.

I do not have a large vehicle but I think parking lots lines should be wider. A pickup truck is almost too tight for parking lots

You take comfort in knowing that not everyone is a judgemental pr**k.  
 
I, for one, will not judge anyone for what they are wearing, driving, or how they look. Or their weight, I have been body shamed my whole life, so I know exactly how that feels.  
 
I do however, judge people for how they make others feel, what they say about persons when they are not around, etc etc.  
I am pretty screwed up myself, and have a lot of insecurities. I am in no position to make people feel bad about theirs.  
 
I hope you have a better day <:img src=:images/icon_smiley.gif>:  
 
Edited by Mauve, 2016-09-28 08:10:34

There are a lot of so-called "invisible" illnesses, such as heart disease, lung disease, fibromyalgia, and lupus that can cause extreme fatigue and pain that severely affect a person's mobility. I am angry that people feel they have the right to make comments and judge. The only reason they care where you park is because they wanted that nice spot close to the door themselves! Next time they snark, just ask them where they went to med school.

I know thats easier said than done, especially when your feelings are hurt. But for every one negative comment or dirty look, there have been many more people who have seen you and have had no judgement or negative feelings towards you, you just dont notice them. We tend to focus on the negative, its natural. I can honestly say I cant remember ever noticing who parked in a handicap space.

As a young punk I always tried to find the closest parking spot I could because I was lazy and treated it like a game. Then I had knee surgery and was on crutches for a couple months and really appreciated the close parking spots, but could not always find one. Then a member of my family got to the point where any walk at all was a chore. It made me mad wen I was looking for a spot and see some young lazy person nabbing the spot beside the handicap zone. Now I park far away where there are few other cars parked and am thankful that I can walk that far. Don't feel bad when you get those looks from people that are young and ignorant - sooner or later they will understand.

Just want to clarify what your referring too. If it's about parking in handicap spots or parking stalls close to the store, then that's horrible if people stare. As long as anyone has a pass for parking in handicap for whatever reason, it's all good to me. And if it's a regular parking stall close to bldg, well that's a free for all for anyone. But if your referring to parking right outside the store and not in a parking stall, well then I may possibly stare. Being dropped off is one thing, but parking right in front is a safety violation. Drives me bonkers when people park outside the sobeys doors (which all say no parking Fire lane) as it blocks traffic from seeing pedestrians coming out the door. These places say no parking for a reason, but some people feel they are above those signs.  
Just my opinion!  
I'm sorry you feel lonely, and hope you can get down to the weight you need for surgery though. Good luck!

Good luck with your health problems.Hope they are fixed timely.As for the people,screwed them.It's not surprising,most people in Brandon are not that great.

I never stare at people who park in handicap spots (when they have a permit).  
I stare at those who park there with no sign though.  
I also stare at people who park in "expectant mother/new parent" parking spots and then hop out clearly un-pregnant with no children in the vehicle.

Waitn' for the weekend- good on you for working on becoming healthier... It's a huge lifestyle change and it sounds like you are on the right track *highfive* don't let the fact you haven't lost any weight bring you down I am sure you are losing inches... If you''re not already you should be keeping track of your measurements. I found personally when trying to lose weight it's not just about pounds but inches as well!  
I know it's a lot easier to feel better about all the hard work and diet change when you see the scale going down but don't let that get you down... I'm sure you are overall way healthier and better off in the year then you have been in the past regardless of the numbers on the scale.  
 
I too have feet issues (heel Spurs) i love swimming... Although I'm not a huge fan of my bathing suit body I go cause it is good exercise and it's easier on my feet, knees, hips etc  
I think we are all too hard on ourselves, to be honest. Be proud of yourself and believe in yourself don't worry about what other ppl say.  
 
Edited by 4U2NV:0), 2016-09-28 22:15:27

I know people can be crude but it can really get to you when they point to you and say "if I ever get that big I want you to kill me". The worst thing is that I am not the biggest person around.  
I know people say you should just ignore it but when you have heard it for the last 20 years it really starts getting to you

I'm gonna just come out and say it.  
 
I don't believe that you've been swimming for 10 hours a week and eating 1400 calories per day for the last year and have seen no results.  
 
The doctors have obviously ruled out medical issues such as hypothyroidism and gestational diabetes considering they are apparently saying they can't figure out what is wrong.  
 
In my PROFESSIONAL opinion. You're probably not being honest about your caloric intake, your activity level (10hrs of swimming a week) or a combination of both.  
 
I would be very interested to see how you make up your 1400 calories a day.  
 
A calorie is not a calorie as some people would have you believe.

Your comment mentioned your PROFESSIONAL opinion, would you care to share what profession? Might give a little weight to your opinion.  
 
Thanks!

Tater said "Your comment mentioned your PROFESSIONAL opinion, would you care to share what profession? Might give a little weight to your opinion.     Thanks! "

would be interesting to know. But whatever kind of profession he/she has made some very rude comments to someone who is reaching out.

You don't go to a health care professional and get a sugar coated opinion. Especially when what you're saying makes no sense. There's enough people on here being "polite" and enabling and validating this persons situation.  
 
You come to a public forum for public opinion so expect opinions from all angles.  
 
I just don't believe you're not losing weight on a 1400cal diet with 10hrs of swimming a week.  
 
I don't know any of your statistics but a 200lb 30yr old woman who is 5'7" would have a Basal Metabolic rate of 1700 calories  
 
This is basically the number of calories the body would require just to maintain that weight if the person lived a sedentary lifestyle. That means basic daily activity. No working out.  
 
So if you're on a 1400 CLEAN calorie diet and exercising 10 hours per week SWIMMING!! Then you would be in such a calorie defecit that I can't figure out how you wouldn't be dropping weight.

one more thing.. said "This person is coming here to reach out and people telling the OP that the world is cruel and people are assholes is not really helping.   identifying why the OP is not making any progress is of much more value "

While few of us like to hear the truth, it's mostly what we need.  
 
I do hope the OP takes your post seriously. If nothing else, maybe the OP will seek other healthcare professionals because maybe the current ones are missing something.

To all of you. So sorry that this is happening. We never truly know what people are going through, Kindness is always the best policy - Towards others and also Kindness towards ourselves. Be gentle to yourselves

one more thing.. said "I'm gonna just come out and say it.     I don't believe that you've been swimming for 10 hours a week and eating 1400 calories per day for the last year and have seen no results.     The doctors have obviously ruled out medical issues such as hypothyroidism and gestational diabetes considering they are apparently saying they can't figure out what is wrong.     In my PROFESSIONAL opinion. You're probably not being honest about your caloric intake, your activity level (10hrs of swimming a week) or a combination of both.     I would be very interested to see how you make up your 1400 calories a day.     A calorie is not a calorie as some people would have you believe. "

if the woman has gestational diabetes it would mean shes pregnant so while you may be saying some truths in regards to calories i do wonder what [i]professional[/i] opinion makes you qualified to assess over the internet  
 
if you want to talk calories it has actually been proven that if you stick to a set caloric diet it doesn't matter where you get them from, be in 2 doughnuts a day or 50 salads, caloric intake - metabolic rate being balanced will result in normal body fat, however, you may have a harder time sticking to 2 doughnuts because your body wants other nutrients and more volume, you are also not healthy just because you are of normal body weight, you can be severely lacking several vitamins and nutrients that your body needs  
 
so with all that being said even if the Op is underestimating her caloric intake (very easy to do) doesn't mean ANYONE has the right to be mean to her  
 
i do wonder tho if some are actually not being mean when looking the ops direction, i look at all sorts of people when im out, big small in between, however self esteem im sure plays a huge part of what they feel like when i look at them, if they are worried about weight and i look them up and down because of their nice shirt and pant set the person may automatically be self conscious, if they think they are gorgeous and have no flaws they likely think im hitting on them, so i would also take that into consideration  
 
one thing to remember tho, is NO ONE is perfect so dont worry if you are still a work in progress

I am doing as I say just ask the people at the ymca they see me every morning. My parents see me struggle, I don't eat any kind of junk food weather it be chips or candy or any kind of crap. No coffee or pop. I have had to increase my calorie intake as I was only eating 700 - 1000 a day. I track what I eat and meet with a deition some people have issues with Thier metabolism it seems that a person like you should know about that.  
 
Why would I come here and expose myself and lie, to me that is just being biased and saying that just because a person is not perfect they must be lazy

If you were to cut out all sugar from you "diet" you would lose weight. Fruits and veggies have their own natural sugars that are better than artificial sugars. This means no spenda or sugar twin anything like that. If you were to use sugar use real sugar or brown sugar. Drink lots of water. Bottle water can contain sugar or salt additives so be careful with those. Make sure you eat a variety of protein. No fast foods or microwave foods. It's tough I too am overweight but found this to work. Although I am able to walk and do that along with other exercises. Good luck! Where do you go swimming? I haven't been that brave yet to put on a swimsuit.

Waitn' for the weekend said "I am doing as I say just ask the people at the ymca they see me every morning. My parents see me struggle, I don't eat any kind of junk food weather it be chips or candy or any kind of crap. No coffee or pop. I have had to increase my calorie intake as I was only eating 700 - 1000 a day. I track what I eat and meet with a deition some people have issues with Thier metabolism it seems that a person like you should know about that.     Why would I come here and expose myself and lie, to me that is just being biased and saying that just because a person is not perfect they must be lazy "

Stand up to that sanctimonious idiot that had the nerve to pass his/her so-called "professional" judgement! You are already working with professionals and doing the best you can. Keep it up!

one more thing.. said "I'm gonna just come out and say it.     I don't believe that you've been swimming for 10 hours a week and eating 1400 calories per day for the last year and have seen no results.     The doctors have obviously ruled out medical issues such as hypothyroidism and gestational diabetes considering they are apparently saying they can't figure out what is wrong.     In my PROFESSIONAL opinion. You're probably not being honest about your caloric intake, your activity level (10hrs of swimming a week) or a combination of both.     I would be very interested to see how you make up your 1400 calories a day.     A calorie is not a calorie as some people would have you believe. "

I would like to know what kind of "Professional"you are, perhaps I need your help.