Discussions

Because I AM a Man .  
 
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with  
A coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an  
option.  
I will win.  
___________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop  
The hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If  
Another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be  
able to  
Fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I  
wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and  
break wind, as a form of holy communion.  
____________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup  
And take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You  
never  
Get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.  
 
__________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at  
The store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items  
 
Like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.  
 
__________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will  
Insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me  
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back  
together.  
 
___________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand  
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole  
show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a  
calculator instead (applies to engineers only)  
 
_________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.  
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have  
to  
Make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.  
 
___________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.  
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if  
you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least  
remember  
The name and recommend it to others.  
 
__________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what  
You were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is  
fine.  
With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your ass look  
Too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that.  
Your  
Hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?  
 
___________________________________________________________________  
 
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share  
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the  
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like  
wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.  
 
This has been a public service message for women to better understand  
men.