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Wal-Mart has announced the introduction of Health Care Clinics. In test locations in the States they have installed a Diagnostic Computer.  
 
If you deposit a Urine Sample and a $10 deposit in the payment slot it only takes 10 seconds for a diagnosis.  
 
In a published test session the following results were published:  
 
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,  
"My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."  
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.  
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.  
 
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.  
 
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."  
So, after work Joe places a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.  
 
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.  
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:  
 
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."  
 
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.  
 
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.  
 
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits Ten Dollars in the slot, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results. In ten seconds the computer prints the following:  
 
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)  
 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)  
 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.  
 
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.  
 
5. If you don't stop pleasuring yourself, your elbow will never get better!  
 
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart  
 
P.S. When contacted Wal-Mart in Brandon say they have no plans in the future to install one of these machines.