Discussions

Wanting to If your teenager 13/14-year-old has a smart phone if not why not if so, why?

I tell them when they get a job and can afford to buy their own phone and phone plan, then they may have a phone, as I had to to do when I was 16-17 (and believe me, the phones back then were nothing like they are today!)  
 
In my opinion, there is no reason why a child/young teen should have a smart phone.

Yes, I allowed my 13 year old to have a cell phone, BUT he does not have a plan! He is only allowed to have it for WiFi and gaming. He can text but only where there is wifi like I said before. He can get a pay as you go plan but he has to pay for it himself so he isn’t rushing to get one just yet. He also is only allowed on it for 20-30 min at a time once or twice a day or to quickly make plans with his little friends to meet at the park. He has had it taken away a few time for not following the rules and has to EARN a The right to have it back again. Phones CAN be a good tool to teach responsibility but can also work against you as well if not monitored properly. We have had our fair share of scary “apps” and “game sites” that have been promptly deleted. I have All My child’s apps and games signed in under MY email so that I can keep track of what he is doing and who he is talking to on these games. This is how I found out that one game site was actually GROOMING HIM FOR CHILD PORN!! We quickly reported the game site and deleted it. I am proud of my child for telling me that the chats were getting gross and I checked it out and was HORRIFIED!! I let my child also know that he/she was not in ANY trouble and they did NOTHING seeing. They did the right thing by telling me right away before things really got ugly and scary. A phone CAN and a good thing like I said it can also be a bad thing without the proper supervision.

I don't have kids but my sister does. They are now older and both have their own phones. But when they started babysitting, they found that many homes don't have a land line anymore. And of course both parents take their phones when they go out for the evening/ day, leaving the sitter no way to call out if there is a problem. So my sister had an 'extra' phone that was shared between the two kids, and that they could take babysitting so they could make a call if there was an emergency, or even just a situation where they needed some help. The phone was also used when they started going to parties, so that if they needed a ride (for whatever reason) they could get ahold of my sister. There was also an 'emergency code' that they could secretly text back to a parent, and the parent could then phone them and tell them that they needed to come home (then the kiddo isn't being pressured to stay when they don't want to). There were a couple other situations that the phone was used for, like if one was going away with a hockey team and a parent wasn't with them, etc. Once they were a little older but not yet adults, they had phones in the 'family plan', and chipped in for their portion of the bill.

She doesn’t have one yet but we will be getting her one probably in the next year. She turns 12 in the new year and wants to babysit and I want her to have a phone to contact me if she needs to.

In grade 9 we bought cheap ($99) phones from Staples for their birthday and they paid for own pre-paid text/talk plan.  
 
They have graduated and have the same plan and phone/ or older hand-me-down phone. They do not want to spend the money on data as can log onto wi-fi in many places if needed.

i personally dont have kids.  
 
I would let the have the phone it they pay for the phone and are willing to help pay part of the plan. for 100 min an unlimited text is $15 i would tell them you want a device you pay for it and you pay me $5 a month. gives them responsibly to keep the phone from getting broken, and starts them with some financial responsibility

Thank you for the information and ideas about no plan, wifi only, pay as you go, time limits, taken away and earn back if not used responsibly, and all apps with your email. That’s scary about the game site!! And good for you for staying in top of it so well!  
 
Edited by Besca , 2021-08-14 17:45:16

I tend to agree with what you’re saying about waiting till have a job and can afford as well as are responsible. We grew up without phones at all  
 
Edited by Besca , 2021-08-14 17:43:03

I never thought of that, it is true that some people don’t even have a landline now and so having it to take to babysitting job needed…I like the sharing the phone between siblings idea, emergency code idea and I agree with the chipping in for the plan. It seems as though all kids by age 14 now have a phone  
 
Edited by Besca , 2021-08-14 17:46:48

Are the phones smart phones at staples? Our Child thinks they need a data plan, we don’t think it’s necessary and wonder if people mostly have a wifi, unlimited text and call plan for teenagers?  
 
Edited by Besca , 2021-08-14 17:47:35

Realistically, I think that it's important for kids who are old enough to go out on their own to have a way to contact a parent or other trusted adult. That said, I'm not really sure that a smartphone is the way to handle that. I think that if one allows their kids to use the internet/a smartphone, they should be teaching their kids internet safety and monitoring their usage to some degree.  
 
If you think your child can handle the pressures of using the internet like that, then that's fine. I just think about all the young kids who go on tiktok and instagram and start to develop negative self image and poor self esteem/mental health because they don't know how to differentiate between idealized online personas and what is real life. Heck, these things impact grown adults, I can't really imagine what it would do to a young kid.  
 
I also think that understanding cellphone etiquette is important. Seeing a kid out with friends or family but only looking at their phone all the time just makes me kinda sad, and it's not really polite in my opinion. I also wonder if smartphone usage in younger kids impacts their ability to develop and work on other hobbies and interests in their spare time. I guess I don't really have a clear answer or opinion, but these are some things to think about.

I appreciate and agree with your information, I don’t see the need for it and definitely agree with etiquette as well as influence of tik tonbabd Instagram on self image as well as the take away from hobbies and interests, all very valid and important points. Thank you so much!!!!!