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Hey all. I'm a single father to a awesome 4 year old boy. However his mother has custody of him currently. She is fair with me and let's me see him whenever I want and we get along good. I have a decent job and make alright money. However she is on social assistance...she originally did not want to make me HAVE to pay child support but I did anyways. I paid what I was able to afford. Which was a great mutual agreement. Things have changed though in this last year. I know have another child on the way with my new partner and I think my ex is becoming upset about it all now. Child maintenance now wants me to pay 5X the amount I was paying before which I really can't afford! My ex says this isn't her doing but social assistance. They told her they would cut her off if I didn't start paying the government issued amount. Funny how this happens shortly after I announce I have another child on the way.  
She has 2 other kids with 2 other guys, so I find it funny that assistance would cut her off if I don't keep on paying this new amount. Not like the government would do that to her and her kids. I'd like to keep on with our mutual agreement on child support. Is she just playing me here for more money or is what she says true?  
If I have to pay this new amount I won't be able to afford my home pretty much. I love my little boy and don't want to make things start a fight with his mom.

Is the new amount a court order? If it is assistance won't cut her off if u don't pay, I know assistance encourages all single parents to go for support, if the amount isn't paid , then child maintenance will garnish your wages, take your drivers license , your income tax, gst... Until your caught up....  
This is what is was like a few years ago... I'm not sure if anything had changed...

Social assistance will make single parents get a court ordered child support amount, so that the taxpayer is not paying the max for a child who should be supported by parents. The Manitoba courts use tables to calculate how much you should be paying based on your income, it may be more than you're used to but it's the same across the board.  
There may be some recalculation if you have another kid but why should your son receive less support because you decided you want to have more children?  
 
Your sons mother does have to pursue you for proper support. It's not a choice.

To get my ex to pay child support or I would be cut off of assistance as well. This was about 10 years ago but gem my experience what she is saying is probably true. Do you have a set amount ordered through court to pay?

http://www.childsupportcalculator.ca/manitoba.html

The 5x is reflecting the other children she has? That could be one scenario, the other could be possible back pay-depending when she says the union ended....if possible maybe try contacting the SA office, or maintenance must have a number....but unfortunately it sounds like you may have a fight on your hands....if your relationship with her now is strong enough to let her know she needs to be honest....that may change things for you.....whatever the outcome is I wish you good luck....

This is something that assistance does. They make the other parent pay more than they can afford so the system doesn't have to pay out as much. It's bad for everyone. Hopefully there can be something better worked out.

EIA cannot make someone go for court-oredered child support nor can they close a case on someone who refuses to seek court-ordered child support - period, no argument. However, they usually don't allow this to continue and will periodically urge a single-parent to seek court-ordered child support. Also, EIA has nothing to do with the amount of money a spouse has to pay for child support - this is determined totally by the lawyers and court involved with setting up the maintenance order or agreement. Once a maintenance order is in place, it usually (should) contain a clause allowing the Manitoba Maintenance Enforcement Program to collect outstanding maintenance payments. When this is in place, the EIA recipient has the choice to attempt to get maintenance from the spouse on thier own or let the Maintenance Enforcemennt Program try to get it for her/him. If the EIA recipient decides to do it this way, EIA will start deducting those payments from benefits whether or not the person is getting the support payments. The EIA recipient also has a choice to assign the maintenance payments to EIA which will then restore full EIA benefits to the single-parent and EIA will attempt to recover the child support payments through the Maintenance Program.  
 
Deadbeat parents be warned - if you choose to bring a life into this world, you (and no one else) are responsible for paying the costs of raising that child!  

Was on social assistance and they wanted her to pursue child support for her oldest child. She did not want to open that can of worms, so she refused and they cut her off social assistance. Taxpayers shouldn't have to support a child until all avenues of support are pursued.

Is set by the child support tables (see link above) and then the court taking into consideration extra expenses (e.g braces, vision care, etc).

Yes it was eventually set by the support table through the courts. I was giving her 200$ a month and now I'm giving 700$ by order. I have no issues supporting my child but to have to pay that much is absurd! That's almost as much as my mortgage. There's no way child costs should be that high. Talking to friends and family about what one child costs them a month and it's usually 200-300$. I was also told by a lawyer that unfortunately the amount is set by a percentage of what I make a month. I just find it ridiculous to pay more than double what it costs a month of any other child out there. My ex told me we can't lower the payments either until she gets off assistance and has a job of her own. But she keeps having kids every 2 years it seems so I don't think that's going to be happening any time soon.  
I am no deadbeat though. I see my son lots and will continue to pay this money. Especially if it's true that assistance will cut her off if she says she doesn't want that much money from me and wants our old agreement back in place.

You have no way out then, court order is based on your income and you have to. The only thing you could do is go for joint custody and request a reevaluation of the amount. You will find that she's a woman and it won't drop much. Previous verbal agreements mean nothing and she can go after the other two men the same way, what you pay or they mean nothing. They all pay based on their income. She now can coast on this the rest of her life, never work. It sucks. It's a career for some.

If she alone receives $700 from you and gets child support from her other kids dads she really shouldn't have a reason to be on assistance. She will also get child tax which is over $1000 for three kids

TheMovieGuy said "Yes it was eventually set by the support table through the courts. I was giving her 200$ a month and now I'm giving 700$ by order. I have no issues supporting my child but to have to pay that much is absurd! That's almost as much as my mortgage. There's no way child costs should be that high. Talking to friends and family about what one child costs them a month and it's usually 200-300$. I was also told by a lawyer that unfortunately the amount is set by a percentage of what I make a month. I just find it ridiculous to pay more than double what it costs a month of any other child out there. My ex told me we can't lower the payments either until she gets off assistance and has a job of her own. But she keeps having kids every 2 years it seems so I don't think that's going to be happening any time soon.   I am no deadbeat though. I see my son lots and will continue to pay this money. Especially if it's true that assistance will cut her off if she says she doesn't want that much money from me and wants our old agreement back in place. "

You say you used to pay $200 now you pay 5x more. Well, that's untrue, as 5x $200 is $1000, not $700.  
 
Child support is income based, so if you're paying that amount, you have an income of about $80,000 a year. You should. Be ashamed of short changing her all these years, it costs way more than $200 a month to raise and feed a child.

200 plus her part. If it's a baby on formula and diapers maybe, ten years old that can eat same meals, ya no and you don't even know if he helps with clothes or sports or whatever. Unless you have a disability that prevents you from working, she should work.

I wasn't short changing her before. Like I previously posted, she was happy with the 200 a month. We both came to that agreement and it was working just fine. Now she's getting a extra 500$ a month because the government says so. I do help out quite often with other things too yes.  
I also didn't even think about the 1000$ She gets from child tax and the support from the other days. She's probably taking in over 2000$ a month clear at the least. Plus her rent paid for from assistance.  
Of course she has no incentive to go out and work. Something needs to be fixed with the system. It's so pro mother. I don't mean to sound insensitive but like another poster said, she will probably just ride this out now as her career the rest of her life. Clearing 2000$ and having your rent paid is equal to around 1500$ every two weeks.  
I just did that math and this is like her making 32$ a hour at 80 hours every two weeks. Man oh man this is kind of messed up...

There is no way welfare pays $1500 in rent. Also they will deduct what ever she gets from child support from her welfare hence them making her go after the fathers for support. I know for a fact a mother of three doesn't get $1500 a month for rent from assistance. They don't even get close to $1500 total. It's crazy this woman settled for $200 all this time and probably didn't know her rights. Also maybe the other fathers make considerably less than you do? It's crazy how fathers can just make kids and then feel $200 a month is enough to support them.

Sorry miss read your post. I thought you said her rent was $1500. Still though it's important to point out that whatever she gets in child support gets deducted from her benefits.

I am following the thread but i dont quite understand how your ex is getting money you pay for child support. If your ex is on EIA the province of Manitoba claws back that child support and it will not reach her. B.C. ended this practice last year and Ontario currently has a class action lawsuit in the works. There is also an Alberta Human rights case about child support being clawed back. I am currently working toward a class action lawsuit in Manitoba and have hired a lawyer to fight the Province on behalf of all those who pay child support or who are suppose to receive child support but do not because they are on EIA. It is a travesty and illegal. I encourage you to join my facebook group. End the Clawback on Child Support.

means you are making over $80 000. So as another poster said, you had a good deal there only paying $200 a month. Yes she will be cut off if she does not properly pursue all avenues of support for her children, so that the government is not supporting children who have parents capable of supporting them finacially, which at 80 000 a year you should be able to. Child support also isnt just about buying things like pampers and clothing. Its about putting a roof over their head, keeping the heat and lights on, medication, food, transportation and all the incidentals that come along with raising a child. Ironic how people are quick to jump on women having more children when they cannot afford to have more children but still do, when the same judgements should clearly be applied to men as well.

You get your child more than 40% of the time a year you can claim your child on your income tax...now if you are paying child support of 700 a month how much of that goes for daycare or preschool or any other extras? Plus are you paying spousal support? Lots of things can be factored in..if maintenance enforcement is involved they have a new policy where they can change the amount without a court order to save people from having to go to court and pay a lawyer. Another thing you could do is get shared custody and that would make a difference on your monthly payment.

Goes based on ur income and the number of children you are responsible for. If you are ordered to pay 700 dollars for child support then it's because you make enough for to pay that amount support, but yes welfare will cut her off if she doesn't take you to court, they don't care about how much you pay in bills they are for the children. She isn't being a B... Or being greedy. Your new child will have the luxury of having you in the home helping pay rent, buy groceries, going on outings, and having both parents in the home. your son will be living scarcely being that his mother is on assistance and it doesn't matter to her if you pay 100, 200, or 700 it all gets taken away from her assistance dollar for dollar, she doesn't benifit from getting more cash from you. Not until or unless she gets a job and is off assistance.

TheMovieGuy said "I wasn't short changing her before. Like I previously posted, she was happy with the 200 a month. We both came to that agreement and it was working just fine. Now she's getting a extra 500$ a month because the government says so. I do help out quite often with other things too yes.   I also didn't even think about the 1000$ She gets from child tax and the support from the other days. She's probably taking in over 2000$ a month clear at the least. Plus her rent paid for from assistance.   Of course she has no incentive to go out and work. Something needs to be fixed with the system. It's so pro mother. I don't mean to sound insensitive but like another poster said, she will probably just ride this out now as her career the rest of her life. Clearing 2000$ and having your rent paid is equal to around 1500$ every two weeks.   I just did that math and this is like her making 32$ a hour at 80 hours every two weeks. Man oh man this is kind of messed up... "

You try living on 2000 dollars a month raising 3 children... Is she in subsidized housing? Does she have a vehicle to drive your son around or does she have to take public transit, it's not a career being on assistance it's degrading especially if you would rather work I bet she doesn't go around gloating I'm on welfare look at me.plus u said your son is 4. Is your new girl going to be working when your new child is born or will she have the luxury of staying at home with your new child and raising him/her until they are old enough to go to school. What are he ages of the other children? School aged she has to buy snacks and lunches? It all adds up... What about keeping he hydro/gas on so ur son has a nice safe warm place to live with lights and a stove and fridge that work so will have to cook the meals and clean up after while u will have ur new girl to help out with, I mean seriously I understand you don't want to pay what the courts have imposed but such is life child support is put in place so that children can maintain a standard of living that is similar at each home. I'm sorry I'm very biased on this situation because I'm going thru the same thing right now I've been looking for work can't find anything unfortunately one can't live on buttons and smiles. I went to court when he was making half the amount he currently is but he refuses to help with anything else so ya I'm getting his child support recalculated it won't affect me now but I'm not planning on being on assistance for ever!

The only way to get around M E P is to make less money. They go by ur t4 slip. Hopefully ur new lady can get a well paying job--cause ur ex can't touch her money--then you could pump gas part time and only have to pay abut $200 a month. I have seen way to many guys get effed over by this program. Don't have kids if you can't afford them.

Here's the part that makes me shake my head. It's based off your gross income. It should be based off the income that actually ends up being deposited in your account after income tax etc. both parents should foot the bill of raising a child equally. If one parent is paying $700 per month, does it really cost $1400 per month to raise a child? No. So why is it so high for the parent paying the support?

If you're making $80,000 and only paying $200 a month, that means taxpayers are paying more than you to care for your son. Give your head a shake, you're concerned now that you're expecting another child, why? If $200 is sufficient to raise your son (in your mind), I'm sure your new child won't cost more than that right??  
In my experience the same guys who complain about their taxes are the same ones who complain about moms on welfare and about paying proper child support. Grow up. As for the advice about living off your new lady and pumping gas so you can keep paying a low amount-- that is gross. Is it better to provide less for your kid to spite his mother, who has obviously and according to earlier in your post been more than accommodating??  
 

If someone else stated this but...the courts don't give two shits about your new child and family..first come first taken care of. If paying 200 for one child a month was anywhere in the realm of satisfactory to you..especially if you make more than 40,000.00 you're ridiculous honestly. I mean child tax sees the need for more than that holy! The tables online it takes five minutes to load it and check out what you should be paying. Be thankful they aren't going for back support. And don't be a dink and screw your child over by working under the table or any other bright ideas tossed out. It's not the kids fault they're here us it??

Why would the poster need a "way out"? Of paying his fair share to raise his child? Was there any statements that the mother is not a good mother? The poster has stated that she is more than fair and that he has free access to see his child whenever he wishes. Why would it make sense for him to go to court to petition for custody in order to pay less child support?? DAY CARE COSTS MORE THAN $200 PER MONTH! Just another woman hating guy here I guess. What a conclusion to come to, that this woman, who isn't "here" to defend herself, is some kind of career man-trapper! No one has MADE this fellow or the other fathers of her children lie down with her, and there is no reason to think she is anything but a very accommodating, easy to get along with person.

Child support is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING you pay as a payer. You can have garnishes for fines and debts, extra taxes taken off for your benefit, deductions towards your pension, all kinds of things off your cheque. So why should your kid get less because you are socking more away for YOURSELF? Or because you have other debts due to your own mismanagement? Make more sense now?

Kryslin0680 said "    TheMovieGuy said "I wasn't short changing her before. Like I previously posted, she was happy with the 200 a month. We both came to that agreement and it was working just fine. Now she's getting a extra 500$ a month because the government says so. I do help out quite often with other things too yes.   I also didn't even think about the 1000$ She gets from child tax and the support from the other days. She's probably taking in over 2000$ a month clear at the least. Plus her rent paid for from assistance.   Of course she has no incentive to go out and work. Something needs to be fixed with the system. It's so pro mother. I don't mean to sound insensitive but like another poster said, she will probably just ride this out now as her career the rest of her life. Clearing 2000$ and having your rent paid is equal to around 1500$ every two weeks.   I just did that math and this is like her making 32$ a hour at 80 hours every two weeks. Man oh man this is kind of messed up... " You try living on 2000 dollars a month raising 3 children... Is she in subsidized housing? Does she have a vehicle to drive your son around or does she have to take public transit, it's not a career being on assistance it's degrading especially if you would rather work I bet she doesn't go around gloating I'm on welfare look at me.plus u said your son is 4. Is your new girl going to be working when your new child is born or will she have the luxury of staying at home with your new child and raising him/her until they are old enough to go to school. What are he ages of the other children? School aged she has to buy snacks and lunches? It all adds up... What about keeping he hydro/gas on so ur son has a nice safe warm place to live with lights and a stove and fridge that work so will have to cook the meals and clean up after while u will have ur new girl to help out with, I mean seriously I understand you don't want to pay what the courts have imposed but such is life child support is put in place so that children can maintain a standard of living that is similar at each home. I'm sorry I'm very biased on this situation because I'm going thru the same thing right now I've been looking for work can't find anything unfortunately one can't live on buttons and smiles. I went to court when he was making half the amount he currently is but he refuses to help with anything else so ya I'm getting his child support recalculated it won't affect me now but I'm not planning on being on assistance for ever! "

if mom's not working you don't need things like daycare? When you choose to sit on assistance so you can take care of your kids you should be doing just that.  
 
Realistically if she's got 3 kids + her why should he be paying more than 1/4 of the family's monthly expenses, this is what I don't understand about the tables.  
 
People keep throwing out the figure $2000, well $2000 a month for a family of 4 is beyond reasonable. Even if rent ate up $1000 you have $1000 after tax for bills, food and luxury items. Hell our family doesn't come out much better than that after tax. If I can cook from scratch & keep my grocery budget under $250 a month while working someone with nothing but time should be able to as well. Being generous & saying $300 a month for utilities, $200 a month for transportation, that's $750 leaving you $250 for discretionary expenses, extras like t.v or internet, emergency savings, or you could add a little more to your groceries or transport depending on what your family priorities are- no you can't have everything on that amount but you have more than enough for basics and if you're careful a luxury or two. This is how MANY working families live so why should it be any different for those on assistance?