Discussions

I need a someone to set me straight because well I feel awful for thing I am about to say but I can no longer stay silent. In my town there is "funding" being raised for a teenage girl that is going through a battle with cancer. That is a fantastic thing and I am all for helping when someone is in need. My issue is that I am very close to the parents of this teenager and I know the real people they are, not the ones my small town has painted them to be. They wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone, they don't contribute to our community, they speak very ill of others, they can contribute charitable funds for other people that have had similar struggles and flat out refuse. They wouldn't even buy $2 chocolate bars for school fundraising. The problem is that they are completely on board for taking money from others, having BBQ's and garage sales put on for them, but they wouldn't do that for others. I don't know how they can live with themselves. Their daughter deserves to be taken care of and fundraising will do that for her, but the way her parents treat it I wonder if she will see any of that for her cause.

I know a few people like this as well. There just comes a time you have to let it go. Trying to tell everyone the truth will sometimes bite you in the ass and you look like the awful person.

Don't punish the teen for her parents. All one can do is hope that the funds get put to good use helping the teen. Is there any fundraising that could go directly too the teen such as equipment needs or anything? The parents will get what is coming to them soon enough.

I don’t know people like this personally but I super struggle with donating straight money to families or “people in need” especially if I don’t know the family. To me it’s the same as donating money to a beggar on the street, you don’t know if that money is going towards food or shelter or if it’s going towards cigarettes and alcohol. Every year I feel like stuff like this comes up surrounding hampers at Christmas time. When people donate hampers and the family they donate to is unappreciative or has a ton of electronics or fancy gadgets, etc. I think what I’ve learned from reading those threads over the years is that you either choose to donate and hope for the best or you choose to not donate. It seems that people aren’t allowed to question where their money/donation goes without others jumping down their throats.  
So instead of donating funds I try to volunteer my time (which I feel is valuable) or help in other ways (do they need healthy meals, perhaps a wig if she’s going through cancer, etc). But it’s very hard to sit idly by and not judge when you feel you know the truth.

Most awful people do not consciously choose to be awful. They make awful choices out of a blissful ignorance that I sometimes envy. I will acknowledge awful people when I encounter them but will not take their shortcomings out on anyone other than them.