Discussions

Ok so.. one of the girls I work with has finally opened up about her current situation and it doesn’t seem good. She lives with and still says she loves a man who sounds like he may be depressed. She’s pretty upset about it as his behaviour hasn’t been abusive but it’s been erratic and seems very odd. I told her he sounds depressed but she doesn’t seem to agree because he still seems to be smiling and functioning. However, she claims that for some time he has been doing stuff with out talking to her, he makes excuses for his behaviour when she calls him on it. She told me today that out of the blue with no warning he changed his cell number... like as in he sent her a text when she was at work with one number and not an hour later she got a text from him from another number!! Like who does that... without prior warning? When she asked him why he said “it just felt necessary” and that was it. That seems very odd to me!! He works but it’s been pretty sporadic. She pays the bills while he does whatever. Even though most days their kid is in school. She’s really not sure what to do. It seems damn odd to me.. I thought after the fact that maybe he had changed the cell number to avoid something or someone but that might just be my imagination running wild with me.. I guess I’m asking what others thoughts are? I told her she should kick him out but the rational adult version of myself says she possibly has a partner who is in dire need of some help. But I don’t know.. thoughts?

My advice for her is to run as far as she can.  
 
Prepare a restraining order.  
 
Sometimes they have to hit bottom (homeless) before they admit they need help. Do not let him back into her life until he gets that help, both individual and joint counselling.

I will never understand why people come on here and post stuff like this.  
 
I understand you are worried and concerned but now you just opened the door to this person’s personal life.  
 
Ebrandon in my honest opinion is not the platform for this. It opens up the discussion for some pretty negative responses.  
 
There could be a lot of reasons for why this person is acting the way they are and instead of telling the woman to run, she should be talking to her partner about seeking help.  
 
Sometimes sporadic and unpredictable behaviour can stem from multiple things. Hormone imbalances (yes a guy can get that), vitamin deficiencies, maybe there are more deep seated issues causing the behaviour.  
 
This gentlemen should see his family doctor and seek help first and foremost.

With BooBoo  
 
I am sure you mean well with asking for advice.  
But I couldn't help thinking how upset and angry I would be if I opened up to someone and they went and aired it all on social media.

If I confused in you and you put all my dirty laundry on here I would be so upset. I’m sure your intention are good but please be sensitive to your friends privacy

I would tend to agree with the 3 previous posts, but he DID change his cell phone number. How could he possibly be worthy of help after such an atrocious act???

None of us are the gentleman mentioned in the original post. Again if he is dealing with sporadic and unpredictable behaviour, seeking help to find out why should be the #1 priority.  
 
Some people just do irrational things but when there becomes a pattern of it, usually that is a big indicator something is wrong.  
 
Even if the guy is “depressed” according to the original post, does that really mean he is worthy of love and support?  
 
If everyone viewed life that way there would be a lot more unhappy and lonely people in the world.  
 
Rather than ridicule the guy when we 1) don’t have the whole story and 2) it was told by a second hand person, we should just be passing along helpful advice at this point.  
 
So to the OP. If you truly care about your coworker, tell her she should try to be a little more supportive and at least talk to the guy to try to get to the bottom of why he is acting out. What she does after that is truly her business. Maybe this is why she didn’t open up about the problems in the first place.

Your friend asked you for advice. Not to put her personal problems all over ebrandon. The guy is going through a hard time and you are quick to jump and say leave him? He changed his number, so what. People never seem to amaze me with what they put on ebrandon.

He’s cheating. And him changing his number wasn’t him changing his number, he accidentally texted you from his other phone and forgot he was on the other phone. Try calling The original number and see if it’s still active. His weird behaviour is him cheating, he’s talking to someone else and it’s causing his behaviour to be different. Sounds exactly like he’s cheating and that’s why the denial, even if it is trivial.

Is so inappropriate. Don't expose someone else's private issues to a city of strangers. They have a child together and you aren't living her life. Nose out of her business and back into yours

Kiwiyop said "Is so inappropriate. Don't expose someone else's private issues to a city of strangers. They have a child together and you aren't living her life. Nose out of her business and back into yours "

A great way to ask for help about a situation but as we don’t work in Brandon I’m not fearful it would expose her situation to the general public. I thank those who has something helpful to say and I have spoke with her last night and she is seeking some help for herself and her child. I told her unless he is willing to get some help for himself there is nothing she can do. She has to work on herself. I think that is advise that I would appreciate.

Just because you don't live or work in brandon doesn't mean one might not see your discussion about your friend..

I think the original poster should probably take a leave of absence from work, and get some professional help. It amazes me how some people never seem to have any filters, and think it’s fine to open up a social media debate on a coworkers perceived personal problems. Instead of starting a national conversation about someone confiding their issues to you in small town Brandon about something personal going on in their life, why don’t do something supportive and just listen and trust your own intuition in providing supportive and constructive feedback, instead of completely depleting any trust they may have placed in you and by being brave enough to open up with their conversation? Sad how some people seem to have difficulty with boundaries.

It isn't the original poster who has the issue. Many people start a comment with a friend of mine.....

If you are referring to my post, no I really do think it may be the original poster that has the issue here. Completely inappropriate post, disrespectful to the subject, and is inappropriate for this type of small town forum if it is even true.

Kirmit said "If you are referring to my post, no I really do think it may be the original poster that has the issue here. Completely inappropriate post, disrespectful to the subject, and is inappropriate for this type of small town forum if it is even true. "

I was not referrng to your post, or I would have quoted you.  
 
I believe it could be the original poster having these issues, as many threads start off as my friend...., when really it eventually comes out, that it is the original poster with the issues.  
 
Also, I can't imagine someone would post on e-brandon, about a friend in this situation.  
 
Just my opinion

First of all to either you or your friend have a medical background to diagnose him with depression? And his crime was he changed his phone number?? I would guess that this is a very young immature a couple.

Just re-read this. Apparently you must have the medical background for the diagnosis because your friend does not think her partner is depressed?? Can you clarify? Depression is a medical diagnosis