Discussions

I am 38, been 5 years since I have been relationship. Everyone in my age group, is Married with kids. I have never Married or have kids. Just long term relationship. I have been trying to be sociable. Going to events, a dance once, and now a Church group on Saturday. Tried pof.  
 
Once you've been in a relationship it's hard to be single, cause it was good.  
 
Edited by String, 2015-08-02 08:16:38

33, female and divorced. I married my high-school sweetheart so I've never really dated a stranger before. This is all new to me. I tried POF but as soon as it gets to meeting, I get scared and nervous and back out. I don't mind chatting to people at games, restaurants, anywhere really... But the idea of the one on one freaks me out.

POF is free.  
 
Keep at it. Both of my children found someone on POF. It took a while. Don't settle, find the right one. Start by meeting at a coffee place for an hour. And keep going until you find the right one.

I met my fiancée 17 months ago on pof and I will totally say that you need to keep trying and it will just come.

Ex wife on POF about 4 and a half years ago..but that doesn't stop me from looking...I once talked to a woman on POF for 8 months before we met...it's all about timing and patience.

Divorced late 40's male (not from Brandon) and yes still looking for "thee" one but one thing my divorce taught me is that I am better to be single than be with the wrong woman.  
Freedom leaves so many doors open to explore the future.  
Any ladies interested in exploring?

Single guy mid 40's been on n off pof for years still looking for that one.. keep trying.. dont settle.. she doesnt need to be perfect..just perfect for you

Plenty of Fish is the definition of a "gong show" lol. I've been on the site for a bit and it can be very entertaining. There are all kinds on there which is actually a good thing, it just tries your patience to keep going when you just want to say f**k it and leave. I find the hardest part of dating is the "one sided" attraction...you're either the one being rejected or the one doing the rejecting if the chemistry isn't there. I've been on both sides and neither feels very good. You have to have a strong sense of worth and self esteem to date. It can be very disheartening, so it's important to realize that you are not going to be everyone's cup of tea but that doesn't mean you won't be perfect to the right person, if you ever find them!! I choose to believe that it will happen when the time is right, I just hope it's before I hit 80!!  
 
I agree with MREJ, it's better to be single than in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. If you settle for someone who isn't the one, then your life is just going to be miserable. If you're not loving your life alone, you're not going to love your life with someone else.

In a lot of cases that the people hiding behind the computers on dating sites are for the most part genuine in there intentions...I've talked to a plethora of different ladies from the Transgenders to the prostitutes and other women that are honest in there intentions.  
But it comes down to your own honesty and having the balls to go after what you want and if you get rejected it's no big deal...and if you are the one doing the rejecting just be nice..if nothing else you can make a new friend without benefits...one woman I talk to on there try and find matches for each other..she checks out the women and I check out the guys..if we think we have found a possible match we give each other the user name and go from there...plus we give each other tips on what to do in certain situations..why the perspective suitor or suitee is acting a certain way...it's been actually quite fun.

Single female 35 no kids from Brandon. Currently on pof but despite my profile saying that I am not wanting friends with benefits that is all that seem to message. Looking for someone that is wanting an honest relationship with no games and can be up front and honest with what they want. Seems to be non existent these days. Good luck to everyone who is looking and I feel your pain.

String said "I am 38, been 5 years since I have been relationship. Everyone in my age group, is Married with kids. I have never Married or have kids. Just long term relationship. I have been trying to be sociable. Going to events, a dance once, and now a Church group on Saturday. Tried pof.     Once you've been in a relationship it's hard to be single, cause it was good.     Edited by String, 2015-08-02 08:16:38"

I've been on POf and Match now for about 3 months. This is Brandon, and unfortunately we don't have the options as bigger cities do. So, you know what you want, but there are only a couple of choices. I also find gals to be gun shy.nyou get talking to them, and then all of a sudden they just stop. For no reason at all. So, I share your frustration. I'm in my very early 50's, have a job, my own home, and I can cook! It would seem there would be at least some interest out there. But again, we are a small market and you will just have to be patient until the right one comes along. Don't give up though, there will be that right one that comes along soon!

Just put it out there on here...I'm 45 single...will be going back to university in the fall to take Children's Mental health...it's a big change for me as I have been a construction worker my whole life..but an unfortunate accident which was actually a blessing in disguise has lead me down the path I've always wanted to do and that's work with vulnerable children. I'm tall dark and my mom says I'm handsome hehe and I have a 13 and a 10 year old. Anything else you wanna know inbox me...I'm an open book.

mightyquinn2 said "Just put it out there on here...I'm 45 single...will be going back to university in the fall to take Children's Mental health...it's a big change for me as I have been a construction worker my whole life..but an unfortunate accident which was actually a blessing in disguise has lead me down the path I've always wanted to do and that's work with vulnerable children. I'm tall dark and my mom says I'm handsome hehe and I have a 13 and a 10 year old. Anything else you wanna know inbox me...I'm an open book. "

It's so awesome when the universe conspires to make your dreams come true! Congrats on your life change!!

Heck I know the frustration you are talking about. It is hard to meet someone with the same goals or at least willing to compromise with you on lifestyle. I was single for most of my life, working full time, university degree and then met a wonderful man who has the most amazing family. We were together for 5 yrs and then our goals changed. So while we are still friends, we have gone our separate ways.  
 
There is one thing I've learned in this process is that we go through life alone regardless of whether we are with someone or single. But you don't have to be lonely. You can live your life to its fullest, doing all the things you love to do, being honest about who you are. I would rather do that than settle for someone and be alone in a relationship with limits on what you can and can't do.  
 
Be good to yourself, live your life and if someone comes a long who shares your passions and is willing to work on staying together then great. But if you don't then you can at least look back on your life with no regrets.  
 
THat's what I think.

That's so sweet of you to say that..thank you..I'm so stoked about it..the last couple years have been trying but I've adapted and overcome and I have a bad habit of buying sunglasses because my future is looking bright and shiny with or without someone. Lol I've learned from my past mistakes and will never do a rebound relationship again..this time I'm asking for psychological reports and drug and alcohol testing..lol just kidding..it's all a learning experience and we should prosper positively even from a negative situation.  
 
Edited by mightyquinn2, 2015-08-02 15:59:06

Honestly. Get in shape, love yourself and be happy being alone. Then when you do meet someone you won't have as much pressure and you won't feel the need to date someone you might truly not love.  
 
And if all else fails the gym will never leave you.

lovemystery said "    mightyquinn2 said "Just put it out there on here...I'm 45 single...will be going back to university in the fall to take Children's Mental health...it's a big change for me as I have been a construction worker my whole life..but an unfortunate accident which was actually a blessing in disguise has lead me down the path I've always wanted to do and that's work with vulnerable children. I'm tall dark and my mom says I'm handsome hehe and I have a 13 and a 10 year old. Anything else you wanna know inbox me...I'm an open book. " It's so awesome when the universe conspires to make your dreams come true! Congrats on your life change!! "

I should thank you because you played a major role in what happened for me to be able to achieve my dreams...so in a way I oh you a great big thank you. If only you had stepped in about 4 years earlier lol. But you live and learn and deal with what life has handed you even when its a major disappointment. So one again Lovemystery THANK YOU for playing your part.

mightyquinn2 said "    lovemystery said "    mightyquinn2 said "Just put it out there on here...I'm 45 single...will be going back to university in the fall to take Children's Mental health...it's a big change for me as I have been a construction worker my whole life..but an unfortunate accident which was actually a blessing in disguise has lead me down the path I've always wanted to do and that's work with vulnerable children. I'm tall dark and my mom says I'm handsome hehe and I have a 13 and a 10 year old. Anything else you wanna know inbox me...I'm an open book. " It's so awesome when the universe conspires to make your dreams come true! Congrats on your life change!! " I should thank you because you played a major role in what happened for me to be able to achieve my dreams...so in a way I oh you a great big thank you. If only you had stepped in about 4 years earlier lol. But you live and learn and deal with what life has handed you even when its a major disappointment. So one again Lovemystery THANK YOU for playing your part. "

What did I do?? I feel happy for you tho lol.

Been single for over 1.5 years after a 15 year relationship fell apart.  
No kids, not interested in a fling.  
So ladies, your not the only ones out there that are looking. But I'm in no rush.  
One thing that I do is envelop myself in my work. Very social job and it just makes things easier.

lovemystery said "Plenty of Fish is the definition of a "gong show" lol. I've been on the site for a bit and it can be very entertaining. There are all kinds on there which is actually a good thing, it just tries your patience to keep going when you just want to say f**k it and leave. I find the hardest part of dating is the "one sided" attraction...you're either the one being rejected or the one doing the rejecting if the chemistry isn't there. I've been on both sides and neither feels very good. You have to have a strong sense of worth and self esteem to date. It can be very disheartening, so it's important to realize that you are not going to be everyone's cup of tea but that doesn't mean you won't be perfect to the right person, if you ever find them!! I choose to believe that it will happen when the time is right, I just hope it's before I hit 80!!     I agree with MREJ, it's better to be single than in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone. If you settle for someone who isn't the one, then your life is just going to be miserable. If you're not loving your life alone, you're not going to love your life with someone else. "

"you're either the one being rejected or the one doing the rejecting"  
 
I couldn't agree more with this. I actually had what I thought was a good thing going with somebody off POF and about 3 days before our agreed upon Coffee date was told straight up they found somebody more attractive and had to cancel the Coffee date. Fair enough but ouch!

the truth is that if you are single and unhappy, then you will be in a relationship and unhappy. It is your choice to be unhappy or frustrated with your current life. Just as it is your choice to be happy. And normally people are attracted to happy people. But if no one is at the very least you will be happy!

The consistent comment throughout all this is that you have to be truly happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. I know for a fact I have been in relationships for the wrong reason because I was unhappy and felt they could fix me. Needless to say the relationship(s) did fail.  
I can finally say after a few years of soul searching and purging and being completely alone that I do enjoy myself and do not have to be with anyone because I NEED them but because I WANT them.  
Good luck to all singles....it will happen when you least expect it.....

Cuba2015 said "The consistent comment throughout all this is that you have to be truly happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. I know for a fact I have been in relationships for the wrong reason because I was unhappy and felt they could fix me. Needless to say the relationship(s) did fail.   I can finally say after a few years of soul searching and purging and being completely alone that I do enjoy myself and do not have to be with anyone because I NEED them but because I WANT them.   Good luck to all singles....it will happen when you least expect it..... "

you do have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else. and like you my relationships failed because the person I was with wasn't happy with themselves, and that in true fact and nature reflects upon you and your partners demise.  
 
When you find your happy content safe place you are able to really open up and be yourself and let people in. I know that for a fact if you want something you go for it regardless of rejection, if you are truly happy rejection will have no effect on you. Rejection and your unhappiness towards rejection is no more than a reaction to the fact that you have low self esteem issues.  
 
Love never happens when you least expect it..it happens when you allow it to happen. and it makes for a much more enjoyable journey through life with that not so perfect someone that has "baggage", but with that not so perfect someone that was meant for you :-)

You're frustrated, single, and you don't have kids. Maybe try another place for a while. You could learn a new language, meet new people. Just pick up and leave for a month. Make it work. You can always come back. I've always found Brandon to be a little anti-social than other places. It's a small place.

Travelling or singles dances, alcoholics anonymous, unless you take that FIRST step you will never find out what's at the end of that journey...could be love or it could be nothing more than realising you are scared to be alone and jump into a relationship...whatever happens is a learning experience and the knowledge that you gain can help you move in the right direction.