Discussions

I have always wanted to do the same. I would love to visit with older people who maybe don't have family close by and would like someone to tell stories to and visit with but I just don't know where to go for something like this.

I used to Volunteer at Rideau Personal care home. It is part of the Brandon RHA, where on their site is a volunteer application.  
 
When I filled it out, I thought it would just be at the hospital, but they phoned and asked if I would go to Rideau.  
 
Went for walks, played cards, just visited.

Is an awesome idea. Or join a service club like the Lions.

we should start a facebook page for people to connect..

crop said "Hi. This request is going to seem odd to some of you but I'm looking for an older lady to spend time with, a few hours a month.     I am a self sufficient female, that has lots to offer in conversation. I can be light hearted and fun, but also engage in various degrees of conversation. I'm not much for gossip. I enjoy walking and gardening.     Due to my line of work, I undergo criminal record and child abuse checks on a regular basis. I could provide references. I'm looking to make a possible long term connection with an older female who is fairly open minded. Please send me a message and I can tell you a little more about myself. Maybe you don't have family nearby or don't have a family and have been longing for an arrangement like this. "

What exactly do you mean by "fairly open minded"??

wonderment said "    crop said "Hi. This request is going to seem odd to some of you but I'm looking for an older lady to spend time with, a few hours a month.     I am a self sufficient female, that has lots to offer in conversation. I can be light hearted and fun, but also engage in various degrees of conversation. I'm not much for gossip. I enjoy walking and gardening.     Due to my line of work, I undergo criminal record and child abuse checks on a regular basis. I could provide references. I'm looking to make a possible long term connection with an older female who is fairly open minded. Please send me a message and I can tell you a little more about myself. Maybe you don't have family nearby or don't have a family and have been longing for an arrangement like this. " What exactly do you mean by "fairly open minded"?? "

It's the opposite of being close minded. I'm not a close minded individual.

Please clarify your request as I think that is what other posters are asking. Let's see if I can help ask what they might be thinking and just haven't posted...  
 
What age range are you looking at? Many "older" folks still feel young. Many "young" folks feel old. Saying "older" might mean elderly or just older than you are. There are many spry elderly folks and then those whose body no longer allows them to do activities as they were once used to.  
 
Do you want...a woman mentor, a mother figure, an auntie, older sister type, someone to do things with and/or just talk to (someone house/apartment-bound), someone who may have had family who are not around and is needing a "daughter" to visit with or some other (?) type of relationship that I have not thought of.  
 
Open minded is certainly the opposite of close minded. I think that is understood. I think they want to know what they might be expected to be open minded about? The term can encompass a lot more subject matter than it did many years ago. Some might consider themselves to be open minded but not necessarily accepting and approving of everything. There is a difference.  
 
Hopefully answering some of these things will help.  
 
Good luck!  
 
Edited by Flutterby, 2016-11-23 10:39:59

crop said "Hi. This request is going to seem odd to some of you but I'm looking for an older lady to spend time with, a few hours a month.     I am a self sufficient female, that has lots to offer in conversation. I can be light hearted and fun, but also engage in various degrees of conversation. I'm not much for gossip. I enjoy walking and gardening.     Due to my line of work, I undergo criminal record and child abuse checks on a regular basis. I could provide references. I'm looking to make a possible long term connection with an older female who is fairly open minded. Please send me a message and I can tell you a little more about myself. Maybe you don't have family nearby or don't have a family and have been longing for an arrangement like this. "

It sounded like a dating ad to me.  
Find another place.  
 
At first I thought it might be someone wanting to volunteer with a senior which I think is a bit deceptive. There may be very elderly people that might react to this in an honest way. Then I clued in.  
 
A long term connection with an older female who is open minded is just on another level. Go on some other dating site. I don''t think ebrandon is a dating site.  
 
To each their own, but i think this might be the wrong avenue.  
 
If you want an open mind and a relationship, don't dupe seniors in thinking you might want a friendship.  
 
Edited by Kellye, 2016-11-23 13:02:04

At first, I thought the ad sounded a little odd and that she was looking for a fwb companion??  
 
It is posted under "relationship/dating"....  
 
To each their own

I think the OP needs to clarify what type of relationship they are looking for. It could be that they are actually looking for a friend/ visiting type relationship, but they don't fit into a 'conventional mold' and that's why they would like someone more 'open minded'. I know some very nice, well adjusted people who would be an asset to a friendship/ companionship/ visiting the elderly/ etc type of relationship, but who hesitate to volunteer some places because they are openly gay/ lesbian/ non-gender conforming/ wear traditional cultural clothing/ have multiple tattoos or peircings/ shave their head/ look a little scary/ are professional wrestlers (well, I don't actually know any professional wrestlers, but you get the idea) etc/ etc.  
 
Edited by curlysister, 2016-11-23 14:06:39

When I read Crops post I didn't think anything beyond friendship.  
 
She says right off the bat she is looking for someone to chat with a couple hours a month.. how does that sound like she is trying to come on to someone?  
 
Fairly open minded to me means that she is up for conversation of any topic of people of any lifestyle, not that she is looking for a sexual relationship of any kind.  
 
You guys can be something else sometimes.  
 
I know a lot of people in their later 30's early 40's who are always looking for friends but don't know where to meet them. You would think Ebrandon would be a great place to do that but man how intimidating for those people when some of you pick others apart.  
 
 
Crop, good luck. I sincerely hope you find the friendship you are looking for My mom is fairly new in town and recently broke up with her boyfriend and doesn't know a lot of people here either so I know exactly how you are feeling.

KC* said "When I read Crops post I didn't think anything beyond friendship.     She says right off the bat she is looking for someone to chat with a couple hours a month.. how does that sound like she is trying to come on to someone?     Fairly open minded to me means that she is up for conversation of any topic of people of any lifestyle, not that she is looking for a sexual relationship of any kind.     You guys can be something else sometimes.     I know a lot of people in their later 30's early 40's who are always looking for friends but don't know where to meet them. You would think Ebrandon would be a great place to do that but man how intimidating for those people when some of you pick others apart.       Crop, good luck. I sincerely hope you find the friendship you are looking for My mom is fairly new in town and recently broke up with her boyfriend and doesn't know a lot of people here either so I know exactly how you are feeling. "

When someone is specifically looking for a possible long term connection with an older female who is open minded, it''ts not likely meaning they want to take old gramma at Hillcrest Place for a walk. Otherwise they''d be volunteering there.  
 
KC* says there are a lot of people in their later 30''s early 40''''s who are looking for friends. That is older?  
 
I guess people have different opinions of what is an older female, what the intention is and what is open minded.  
 
I still think the OP was vague, and misleading and should be on a dating site instead of ebrandon.  
 
Let's turn the tables and say it is a post looking to "Adopt a self sufficient older " male and in the post a male looking for another open minded male they'd like to spend time with a few hours per month with walking and gardening.  
 
You can have fun and search all you want, but it's not a dating site.  
 
Edited by Kellye, 2016-11-23 16:10:52

If it were a male looking for another male I would think ''cool, this dude is looking for another dude to have a friendship with''  
 
Do you really think people offer up reference checks when they are looking for someone to date?!  
 
Pretty sure if she was looking to date someone she would have straight up said that. Not to mention, after people responded in kind, she suggested setting up a facebook group for women like her looking for other women to interact with.  
 
I feel like your views on the topic are VERY much the opposite of ''open minded.'' Open that closed mind just little bit Kellye, the world is a wonderful place full of wonderful people who just want to make friends. Not every one is a predator of the elderly, some of us like spending time with other people and having conversations with other people beyond a computer screen.  
 
Edited by KC*, 2016-11-23 16:34:45

When I read the original post I didn't think it was a romantic thing whatsoever. What's wrong with befriending someone a bit older? Maybe the op has no parents, grandparents, aunts etc to and wants to connect with someone with a little more life experience. Why are people on here so quick to jump to conclusions and judge others?? Op I'm sure there is an "older" lady, sitting at home, lonely, and looking for some companionship. Don't let these narrow minded keyboard bullies discourage you!

The Op is sincere in looking for a friendship and she even admits that it is an odd request. As someone who has worked with elderly people for over 30 years, I have seen many lonely people get conned out of a lot of money, particularly those that do not have family close by. Not to insult the OP but to all vulnerable people out there, please be careful and "aware" that not everyone has good intentions. Redflags are often overlooked by lonely people. If the OP is sincere, I hope you find a friend with plenty of family and friends who live by and perhaps you will become enriched by joining in.

One of the best friends I ever had was someone 25 years older than myself. There was nothing remotely like FWB, nor was there ever any exchange of money...we were friends. Perhaps the OP is seeking something like that. At the end I was honored to be beside my friend while dying..we had shared so much over 20 years. I know we need to be careful about forming relationships but surely there are still more good people tha bad out there. Don't jump to conclusions.

Everyone's true colors are coming out here. lol  
 
I apologize, I just looked at this post again. I posted under "relationships" because this would be a relationship or maybe the better word is "friendship" between two people. I know there are a lot of people out there that can relate to what I'm looking for, young and old. It's hard to make friends that you really feel comfortable with, the older you get. It's harder to meet people that will make room for someone new in their life.  
 
I love seniors, they are generally so much more relaxed, have some wisdom to share, and too are longing for a connection with someone.  
 
If you can't understand what I just typed, then obviously this post isn't for you. I know there are several people here that would really enjoy making a new friend. There are a lot of lonely people in the world and a lot of people that don't connect with people in their life as much as they'd like to.  
 
As a precautionary, two people should meet in public for as long as they like. If I was going to scam someone, I don't think I'd publicly advertise it first. :-)

We could start activity or socializing events somewhere once or twice a month, where young and old could come out and enjoy each other's friendship. Get to know each other in a group but come out for the purpose of making new friends. The young would meet younger and older people, the older people would also meet younger and other older people to possibly make a lifetime friendship with.

I figured that is more what you were looking for, and that is a lovely idea.  
 
New friends that are supportive are always the best. It can be so refreshing. I personally would like a wise, understanding, gracious (and not control seeking) older mentor that I could bounce questions off of, and also a contemporary that I can feel comfortable being myself around...not always feeling like I have to be on guard. Those would be fantastic friends. I have found that they are very hard to find.  
 
If I had more time and was closer to town, I would consider meeting you and going to an event or two sometime.  
 
BTW, the emoticon I used last time was supposed to be this: haha  
 
Edited by Flutterby, 2016-11-23 22:06:17

Flutterby said "I figured that is more what you were looking for, and that is a lovely idea.     New friends that are supportive are always the best. It can be so refreshing. I personally would like a wise, understanding, gracious (and not control seeking) older mentor that I could bounce questions off of, and also a contemporary that I can feel comfortable being myself around...not always feeling like I have to be on guard. Those would be fantastic friends. I have found that they are very hard to find.     If I had more time and was closer to town, I would consider meeting you and going to an event or two sometime.     BTW, the emoticon I used last time was supposed to be this: haha     Edited by Flutterby, 2016-11-23 22:06:17"

There is some interest, I'd like to start a private fb page or some sort of private group so the general public is not aware of who the members are and where they meet, to start anyway.  
 
It would be nice to get together and maybe do something related to Christmas, a craft, or coffee and goodies, or fun short games while switching between groups. An outing that is not intense and easy to enjoy. If you have any ideas or would like to be involved, let me know. Perhaps the group could split up into two types of people, depending on how they would like to socialize. I'm open to suggestions.

has a lot of skills that they could teach us in small projects while younger people could bring something new and fresh. Perhaps bringing $3-5 each to do a craft or learn something new could be an option.  
 
The point is to get to know each other, learn from the people around us, and have fun. We would be making a difference in other people's lives. Ideally, participating with a giving heart and no expectations. You can't force a connection but you can relax and have fun.

I jumped to conclusions. I apologize profusely. I hope you can form a nice bond with a senior lady who enjoys your company.  

Thanks for your post. :-)

this sounds interesting - tried to e-mail you but couldn't figure out how - sorry not up-to-date on some technology

hockeyfan90 said "this sounds interesting - tried to e-mail you but couldn't figure out how - sorry not up-to-date on some technology "

You can click on her name and you will find a place to pm (private message) her.

thank you

Wow, I bet Crop didn't know what a big can or worms her original post would open. Define 'older'. She could be 20 or 60 and not hav a Mom!  
 
Thanks for the info of how to privately connect with someone, glad I read on to that point.  
 
I would like to commend KC I believe it is for mature discussion and attitude. Who says there are no great people in the world?