Discussions

So I'm having my third child, and I am really having a lot of anxiety. We just moved to the area, so we have no family or friends closer that 4 hours away... I'm not sure what to do with my children while I'm in labor. I'm thinking my husband will have to stay with them , which is really sad but our options are really limited...we live 45 minutes away from Brandon so do I just leave them all at home? (Hubby doesn't have full license ) Go deliver then come home the next day (if all goes well). Would I be able to check myself out of the hospital,? Or does someone need to be there to check me out? I'm just really stressing out...I've heard really bad things about the maternity nurses in Brandon, which is only adding to my anxiety.... can anyone offer any ideas or encouragement? Please no snarky comments

I am quite certain (though not 100% positive) that you can check out of the hospital yourself. I'm sure if you call the maternity ward at the hospital, they'd have a definite answer for you.  
 
As far as the maternity ward nurses... I have absolutely nothing but positive things to say about them! I have had two babies in the past three-ish years at the Brandon hospital and all of the nurses we encountered during our stay were excellent! They were super helpful and accommodating. With my first I was extremely scared and nervous and they really helped relax and guide me through it. With my second, I was a little more confident about everything and knew more what I wanted/didn't want, so they weren't quite as hands on and gave me a bit more space. I think they've encountered so many different situations and know it's a very stressful time, so they will adjust to what you need or want. Everyone obviously has different experiences, some of which may not be great, but I personally would have absolutely no hesitation or worry about having another baby at the Brandon hospital.

I am very sorry you are feeling this stress. It sounds like you would benefit from hiring a doula. A doula is a professional labour support person and coach. If you hire one, she will go with you and coach you through your labour and birth and be with you so you won't be alone. I run a collective in town. PM me if you would like more information.

Me being alone isn't the problem, it's my third child and I'm very confident in giving birth...all have been easy deliveries and I've done well... it's just the fact that I don't know where the rest of my family should be , and if I'm allowed to check myself out and drive home alone...again, if there are no complication.... I'm just stressed on knowing what to do... what's the right decision?...I don't know ... I feel bad with my husband not having the experience of being there, yet I don't trust my children with people I don't know.. so I guess the only option is my husband being with the other kids...

Is there a Public Health Nurse in your closest town? She will have info about what other moms from the area have done, she will also be able to connect you with a mom and baby group and you can talk to other moms about it. I'm sure you aren't the only one who has been in a similar situation in your area - sometimes it helps to hear what others have done!

Bring the kids. There's a family waiting room with a tv on the SRMC floor, obviously they can't be left alone, but during the early part of labour you can be with them there or they can join you in your room. Your husband can be nearby and even if he can't be in the room during delivery, he can be there shortly after.

im not sure how close your due date is but could you reach out to the community you are in and fine someone willing to help with your kids, or drive your husband in the next day? for that matter you should have someone drive you in as well. I know with the third you are thinking you will have time but each delivery is different and you should not be driving while having contractions or on the road alone should baby come quicker then expected  
 
Can your husband and the kids rent a hotel so they are at least near by, not sure if its allowed but what about the nursing residents attached to the assinoboine center?  
 
Can family come out (yes i know 4 hrs) to relive your husband once you are checked into the hospital?  
 
hopefully some ideas helped but a call to PHN in your town to make a plan is also a good idea, but im sure it will all work out so dont stress to much  
 
ps- while sometimes the nurses are stressed too and slip up mostly they are all very caring so dont be afraid to ask them too

Familymama said "So I'm having my third child, and I am really having a lot of anxiety. We just moved to the area, so we have no family or friends closer that 4 hours away... I'm not sure what to do with my children while I'm in labor. I'm thinking my husband will have to stay with them , which is really sad but our options are really limited...we live 45 minutes away from Brandon so do I just leave them all at home? (Hubby doesn't have full license ) Go deliver then come home the next day (if all goes well). Would I be able to check myself out of the hospital,? Or does someone need to be there to check me out? I'm just really stressing out...I've heard really bad things about the maternity nurses in Brandon, which is only adding to my anxiety.... can anyone offer any ideas or encouragement? Please no snarky comments "

When are you due? Do you have a good amount of time left to figure some of this out? Try and get to know someone in your community or even here in Brandon that you would trust to watch your other two kids. This has to be someone who would be willing to take your kids at any hour, because obviously labour and delivery can be very unpredictable. Once that part is over, your husband can go home with them while you stay in the hospital for the appropriate amount of time after baby is born. (Honestly, if you have a completely uncomplicated delivery and the baby is fine, you will be gone in 24 hours)  
 
Also, do not worry at all about the reputation you hear of with the nurses here. We have a fabulous maternity ward. Better than most, because it is all single rooms. Not a lot of places have that. Having had 4 kids here in Brandon, I can't say I never encountered a less than pleasant nurse, but for the most part all of my experiences have been great!

I sent you a pm.

I had a sudden high blood pressure event at the end of my pregnancy, necessitating a c section after an unsuccessful induction. While I did not think much of the surgeon's bedside manner, the midwife (we had been at the Midwifery Clinic instead of the obgyn Clinic for prenatal care) and the nurses were fantastic. Don't worry about them - even as crusty as I was, they were fantastic.  
 
You can get a pre-delivery tour of the maternity ward.  
 
As for what to do with kids and husband, see if your local PHN, pastor/priest/reverend, teacher/principal, physician or even postmaster can connect you with someone that would be able to look after your children. I don't know how long you have before delivery, hopefully you would be able to get to know them somewhat to get more comfortable. Sometimes the rec director for the area, or the daycare Manager, might know of someone. Additionally, continue trying to get to know the people in your community, perhaps you will find someone that way that can help you out.  
 
Best of luck, and hoping for a smooth delivery.

Don't bring your children. The family waiting room is for the families who have already had their babies to visit. The hospital does not encourage children on the ward during labour.  
 
Get in touch with public health at 204-578-2500. Your area public health nurse may have some ideas. Also, contact the Elspeth Reid Family Resource centre. Perhaps you can network there with some other families to build your support network prior to your labour, so you have someone you can trust to care for your children while you are in labour.

I'd say don't drive in by yourself. As someone who also lives 45 minutes from brandon, almost an hour to the hospital, and no local family, when I went into labour with my last baby once we started driving my contractions got very intense and we ended up calling an ambulance before we could even get to brandon, my husband was about 10 minutes from delivering the baby in the car, with my son in the backseat (he came with us and we met my mom at the hospital who came from an hour on the other side of Brandon.)  
 
At the very least find someone who could drive you to the hospital at any time of day. My suggestion would be to call someone from your family to start coming to your house as soon as you start going into labour, if your labour progresses quickly have someone who could stay with the kids for a couple hours till your family gets there. Is there a coworker either yours or your husbands who you could trust to do that, or a neighbour, get a list of babysitters in the area. We had my boss as a backup if we had to leave in the middle of the night so not to wake my son.  
 
Never had a bad nurse while in the maternity ward, in Brandon. Had a midwife for my last pregnancy and that was fantastic.  
 
Not sure where you live but feel free to send me a message and if I know somebody in your area I might be able to recommend somebody.

Sent you a pm

Add Brandon indigenous doulas on Facebook, most of us are offering our services for free at the moment to gain experience. We can answer any questions you may have and settle some of the anxiety. Best wishes!

Maybe hubby can drive you in and he and the kids can spend the night or 2 if need be, with the kids. If cost is an option we just passed the Barney sign and I think it said rooms were $65. Once you're in the hospital he might have to cab it around Brandon.

Ask your family.

in her first post, she says they just moved here and have no family or friends.

thankyou all for your wonderful suggestions. Our plan is coming together a bit more . I don't have much time left (less than 3 weeks lol). So trying to plan on short notice is hard. We had someone set up to help us up until 2 weeks ago, which is why the scramble now.... thankyou again to all who responded!!!

ya, brenda, i read that, and i know that her family is 4 hours away, my family was 800 miles away, that's about 12 hours, she can ask. They may be able to make arrangements, what family or mother would say , "sorry can't help you live 4 hours away"

The problem with asking my family is this, there is 1 lady I've talked to who had a baby within this year, she had family drive in only 3 hours when she went into labor. She called them BEFORE she went into the hospital , so really it was only 2 hours or less they had the child and she was in labor. As they were waiting for family to arrive at the hospital to pass along their child, the nurses there threw a huge fit, coming in every 10 minutes asking if someone was coming to pick up their child yet, when they all fully knew someone was on their way , causing a huge dilemma , and they even went as far as insulting these already stressed parents.... the child was not screaming or running around, in fact was half asleep... and even when they called 1 friend to come and watch the child, temporarily until the other family could get there, still there was issues with it.....my family would take much longer than 2 hours or 1 1/2 hours to come pick up our kids...so wouldn't the problem be worse than this situation ? Plus this isn't also the first person who I've heard this type of situation from... I don't really want to be worrying about my kids and causing a giant problem for the whole maternity floor until my family would arrive

.. said "ya, brenda, i read that, and i know that her family is 4 hours away, my family was 800 miles away, that's about 12 hours, she can ask. They may be able to make arrangements, what family or mother would say , "sorry can't help you live 4 hours away" "

this thread isn't about you or your family, so really, how far away your family was is not an issue to me or the OP.  
 
Familymama - I really hope things work out for you. Good Luck!  
 
Edited by Brenda, 2017-08-31 20:43:47

Just a thought, could you talk with your doctor, let them hear your concerns...maybe you could have a scheduled induction? Usually this is just before your due date.  
This way you could possibly plan and have some arrangements made.  
I know things don't always go as planned, babies come at all different times, but everything will work out.