Discussions

Are you the parent or step parent to these kids?  
 
What caused the parent with custody to suddenly start withholding the kids?  
 

Although my husbands ex never actually went against the court order she did her best to keep the kids away, talked bad about me and my husband. She went out of her way to make life miserable all those years. Now the kids are adults and we only really ever hear from 1.

I expect that there's probably more to this story. But I think that the only thing that you can do in this situation is to hire a lawyer, follow their advice, and perhaps try mediation before court in order to come up with a reasonable solution that works for the kids involved.

Need a lawyer, not EBrandon.

alienated/non alienated lingo is hard to follow, but anyways I wish you luck.

The whole alienated, non alienated stuff is confusing. But like someone said before, I'm sure there's more to the story. Lots of people go through this. If you have a lawyer, it will get worked out. If the kids are old enough they will get a say in where they want to go. But unless they are being abused or in immediate danger, don't expect to win custody away from their other parent. Most often a judge will rule joint custody unless there is danger.

If there is a court ordered visitation schedule in place, having primary care and control does not trump that. A visitation schedule is priority, then joint custody. Document everything. Every email, phone call, text message, etc. Sign up for the access exchange program- if the other parent refuses, it is noted, and if they do agree-every visit/missed visit is recorded by a neutral party. Take the For the Sake of the Children seminars. Sign up for mediation. If worst comes to worst at least if things dont work out, at some point when the children ask, you can show them how hard you fought for them.

I think it's a mistake to have too much input from kids, it puts a burden on their shoulders that whatever happens they have caused it, which is what you want to avoid in marital breakdown in general.  
Document everything, but honestly in my experience it's not good to encourage kids "choosing", it's good to let the kids know how much you love them and that you and the other parent and the court have decided what's best for them. Let the other parent know that if they don't abide by the court ordered visitation you will have no choice but to go back to court. Do Make sure that you don't miss or cancel any of the visitation that you DO have access to.  
Do get a lawyer, if you don't qualify for legal aid and can't afford a lawyer, try community legal education association, google them.  
Good luck to your partner and his children.

as leverage in marital breakdown is an epidemic. Not only are the children being used against the non-custodial parent, by not allowing visitation or contact, but there is also "Grandparent Alienation." It appears to be a decision to erase the existence of the 2nd part of the family. Children need to know both parents in most cases. To deny them the connection and love from their relatives is only adding to the trauma in their lives.