Discussions

I'm curious what people in this situation have done. It seems during/after divorce the social circle changes. I'm not sure the exact reasoning, maybe it's a combination of things, the people you once hung out with no longer know how to react to you/your situation. They are afraid divorce is contagious & will happen to their marriage! People choose sides, you or ex partner. Whatever the reason like many other things associated with divorce the social circle changes. What do people do to get back out there?! Maybe it's different in a City compared to small town? I'm in my late 30's & fully realize there's still much more to come but not sure where you start over? Anyone else had/have this experience?

http://prairiesocialsingles.weebly.com/

Get a gym membership, get tinder, BOOM!

I'm still trying to figure this out and it's been 4 years

I had a similar experience. I got into exercise and joined some community groups that took up a lot of time. Also got to enjoy some time alone. It does get easier but you need to make yourself get out and get doing something, anything

Couples like to hang out with couples. They won't actually admit it but that's how it works unless there's a large group, then they will squeeze in a few singles - usually trying to pair them up. Couples have trouble relating to those who are not. Some have a phobia, some are scared you will take their spouse, some hate drama, and some are only committed to people who make them feel good about themselves. Some people aren't true friends. It all comes out in a divorce.  
 
Take this opportunity to make new friends and start a new life for yourself.

You are going to have to make a whole new life. As a previous poster said, couples do couple things, and even for me, my family is different. I was treated so poorly by my ex that I deserved better, but even siblings don't include me anymore even though she caused so much drama for them, that her being gone has resumed a peaceful life for all of us. Even my mother barely talks to me. Find a new path and don't look back.

what I want to say is to take a break - I know for myself, going through a break up too - from a 10 years relationship I was totally into - but learnt recently how I was being mislead/etc . . . so I too am feeling what you are. What I am doing is taking a breather, TIME OUT and really taking a time for some introspection - refocus on what I want my life to be - where I want to go - doing it MY way - I ask myself, do I really NEED/Want someone to be in my life, who has the power to yank the carpet from under my feet ever again - who, at my age - can manipulate, turn my world upside down ever again??? How can I trust someone - do I want to - NO!!! . . . and just take a moment to take care of you. I don''t think its good for us to jump into the dating spectrum immediately - I was told that it takes 3 years to "get over" a relationship - and so, taking 3 years OUT - is what I suggest - as otherwise you find yourself in a "rebound" relationship - and those never work out anyways. And also, it really depends on what age you are when break ups happen - as to what you do - as for me going to the gym is the last thing I would want to do - but to others, that seems to be what they want. . . so I say, enjoy a hobby - take a class - take some time to repaint your bedroom - do some gardening - just do something you enjoy doing - find pleasure in basic activities . . . you will learn what you need - and I wish you well in finding that.  
 
So, enjoy your "Peace on Earth"............ and let him find his "piece of >:>:>:>:" somewhere else, and do not feel bad as you are healing . . . I know I sure am sick of just being seen as his "Piece of >:>:>:>:>:" as apparently that is all he wanted from me.  
 
And yes, you will go through the process of "grieving" and will experience emotions in stages - so realize what stage/emotions you are experiencing - and really think about whether you really want to step out already. I know I sure don''t.  
 
How long ago did your breakup happen OP?  
 
Edited by whatthewhat, 2016-08-19 11:53:37