Discussions

Reading the other thread about positive qualities in parents, got me thinking, what’s some negative qualities in parents you can’t stand? One of many for me, is when you see a parent walkin like half a block ahead of there little kid!

Hitting your child because they hit someone- makes zero sense - spanking for any other reason too!

smoking in a car with kids...smoking in a home with kids....I swear it's abuse

I second smoking in car/home with kids! Makes my heart hurt when I see this Poor kids have no voice, exposed to harmful chemicals day in and day out.

I third the smoking in cars and houses with kids! It’s pure laziness! Also another one is parents who constantly yell at their kids! Especially in public! That wrecks a little one!

letting their kids take their cellphone to bed for improper sleep especially weekdays during school

So much TV laziness now days. Kids don't learn real life skills (cooking, cleaning, laundry, HARD WORK, positive social interaction, art, music books), and parents done even give two hoots about their child's education: they leave it up to the school system, then blame others if their child isn't doing well.... no one wants to invest EFFORT or TIME into their kids. I'll add that it is obviously not EVERY parent that holds these characteristics.

Parents who run a restaurant kitchen for their kids.  
 
Make proper food that everyone eats. I got sick of having birthday parties where children told me what they will or will not eat. I had one kid go so far as to tell me it is my job to cook what he wanted. I understand allergies or dietary concerns but it is getting rediculous.

And I watch a parent go into one store, only to leave an 8 or ten year old in a different store and say “I’m going to the store across the way, wait here” and suddenly the sales associates are now cashiers/babysitters.  
 
I don’t know why this one grinds my gears but it does. I watched a kid knock a lot of stuff over and made an absolutely mess of the video game store in the mall while mom was next door looking at luggage cases and couldn’t be bothered to help clean up after her child after she watched the sales clerk clean up the mess..

Not getting your shit together, causing trauma and all sorts of emotional issues in your family. Raising children who can’t be themselves, who aren’t loved, who learn to cope in unhealthy way by watching their parents.  
 
Not loving your children and caring for them period. Children are an investment, treat them as such.

now that you've read all the posts from the peanut gallery...click over to the positive thread about qualities we like to see in parents...don't worry it won't take long, not a lot of interest in positive comments. Only 4 people bothered to login and say something there.

How about people who judge parents??? You have no idea what anyone is dealing with, going through, etc. Who are you to judge the next person? Every parent I know is doing the best they can. Even the ones who make what I perceive to be "questionable" decisions. It's not my business. And, if you see something you deem as abuse, report it!!!

My biggest is lack of discipline. You are the parent, they are the child. Why are they ruling the roost. They will get their chance to do that when they become parents.

I was thinking this the whole time I was reading....  
 
Sorry tried to quote Yellowstraw.  
 
Edited by FishinAddict, 2018-09-11 13:42:22

by most parents. The old saying "spare the rod and use behavior mod" is a bunch of poppycock. If parents continue to raise their children without consequences for bad behavior - they grow up with a total lack of respect for authority, which in turn will cause them problems when they enter the work force. Education is a partnership between parent and teacher it not the sole responsibility of the school to educate ones children. Very few parents show an interest in their childs schooling - parents need to get involved with helping the child study, do homework and showing an interest in what was learned during the day. That's what the family supper use to be for - to discuss the days events and show an interest in whats happening in your childs life. I guess we have reached the point when interrupting ones personal life to show an interest in your child is just to much work these days.

yellowstraw said "How about people who judge parents??? You have no idea what anyone is dealing with, going through, etc. Who are you to judge the next person? Every parent I know is doing the best they can. Even the ones who make what I perceive to be "questionable" decisions. It's not my business. And, if you see something you deem as abuse, report it!!! "

*standing ovation*

Agree !!  
 
Time outs do nothing. Take away a video game....big deal.  
 
The days gone by with the Strap in school, or a good butt warming at home. It worked for many generations and now it’s frowned upon.

What is counting to three supposed to do? When my oldest acted up in a store, I took her outside (away from the public eye) and I told her in no uncertain terms that I never ever wanted to see her behave like that ever again. And she never did. (BTW, when you see kids that are behaving well, make sure you praise them for this).

ram1952 said "by most parents. The old saying "spare the rod and use behavior mod" is a bunch of poppycock. If parents continue to raise their children without consequences for bad behavior - they grow up with a total lack of respect for authority, which in turn will cause them problems when they enter the work force. Education is a partnership between parent and teacher it not the sole responsibility of the school to educate ones children. Very few parents show an interest in their childs schooling - parents need to get involved with helping the child study, do homework and showing an interest in what was learned during the day. That's what the family supper use to be for - to discuss the days events and show an interest in whats happening in your childs life. I guess we have reached the point when interrupting ones personal life to show an interest in your child is just to much work these days. "

Should the police be allowed to knock you around after your 3rd speeding ticket? Because you know, you just aren’t learning any other way?

the employer would simply dismiss the individual. Eventually after loosing several jobs the individual would simply turn to the welfare system for lifelong support. Talking does nothing as the child grows to expect there will be no consequences for their actions, so they continue to do same. Before you know it, the child is either in jail or a lifelong resident on welfare - either way a burden to society. A few years ago I was shopping in Walmart and there was a dispute between a mother and her son (which I believe to be around 5 or 6) I did not hear what the dispute was about but what I along with a few other shoppers heard was the son say in a forceful tone was "F$$K You" to which his mother replied - "I told you before not to say that word." If that was my child he would have received a backhand to his mouth and I guarantee he would have never used that word on me again. You can try talking once and if it works terrific - if not you need some type of discipline that will be effective.

no you don't whip your employees.. discipline or fire them...or what most do is give them the worst hours, the worst jobs until they quit... geez! And after that many speeding tickets your insurance rates goes up. So again...this it takes a village crap has got to go. Teach your kids right from wrong.. Teach your brats to look both ways before crossing a street, don't talk to strangers,don't hang out with the bad crowd, the cell phone goes away or is shut off at a certain time or never brought to the supper table...simple crap the bad parent(s) wants to deal with...can't handle the whining from kids...that's why birth control was invented. Then you MUST deal with it and be the adult.

Why do you not make sure when your children,,  
Have lights on their bikes. As a newcomer to Canada I am choked to see all the children who are on bikes at night,without light or reflective on bikes. And as I can see they never learned how to behave on streets.. just last night a nearly run over 2 boys in dark clothes and on bikes just crossing the street without stopping of looking if there were cars. I saw them in the last second and had to brake very hard so I didn't drove them over. So if children are your investment then make sure they survive.

I am a parent that counts to 3, but let me say I never get to 3. The reason for this because when I say no I mean it. I follow through. I allow my kids 20 minutes of media time meaning ipad time a day. If they have not listened all day or done there chores then nope you dont get it. Im not a perfect parent but when i say no i follow through. Kids need to hear the word no

My wife and I had our granddaughter with us on a trip into Brandon, now I'm a person who believes a child understands language before they can speak language, I always talk to children as people who can understand.  
Our granddaughter has unlimited energy, and after shopping in a store, with her in the cart, I asked her if I took her out of the cart would she take off and run around the store, her reply to this was yes. I looked at her and said "wrong answer", and asked the question again, here reply the second time was "no", I asked her if she was sure and she replied "yes".  
I don't remember having to spank our kids, and there were no time outs, and there were never any removal of toys or privileges, if there was a problem I always found it best to just make them think, and the thinking process starts at a very early age.  
The fun one was when a child would have a hissy fit, the question was simple, "do you see any other kids acting like you?"  
Maybe we were lucky, but it worked for us.

Negative qualities in parents? I would have to say judging other parents and talking smack about them to make themselves feel superior. Obviously there are parents that aren’t doing a bang up job, but I have learned that the ones that try the hardest to make themselves look perfect usually have the most messed up realities behind the scenes.

With genius kids! They’re kids are so much smarter than yours, listen better etc these parents act like their kids never act like “kids” and go out of their way to shame you when your kid acts out! Parents who live their lives, hopes and dreams solely through their children placing undue pressure on constant and continual success in every area of their life. Parents who sign their kids up for 3-5 activities at one time can’t play or enjoy free time to just be a kid. Kids seem to need constant amusement, activity planning etc. At a home birthday party kids don’t know what to do and seem lost without direction of what we will be doing at the party for fun. Free play and engagement is a foreign concept to some children.

ram1952 said "the employer would simply dismiss the individual. Eventually after loosing several jobs the individual would simply turn to the welfare system for lifelong support. Talking does nothing as the child grows to expect there will be no consequences for their actions, so they continue to do same. Before you know it, the child is either in jail or a lifelong resident on welfare - either way a burden to society. A few years ago I was shopping in Walmart and there was a dispute between a mother and her son (which I believe to be around 5 or 6) I did not hear what the dispute was about but what I along with a few other shoppers heard was the son say in a forceful tone was "F$$K You" to which his mother replied - "I told you before not to say that word." If that was my child he would have received a backhand to his mouth and I guarantee he would have never used that word on me again. You can try talking once and if it works terrific - if not you need some type of discipline that will be effective. "

And I pity the child that grows up with someone who would backhand them in the face. If you don't understand how over and above backhanding a child in the face is, there isn't anything more I can tell you.