Discussions

Family Law in Manitoba is an absolute disgrace and needs an overhaul.  
 
Yes every situation is different and it’s not easy to deal with.  
 
A person shouldn’t have to go through the legal system to make a parent be responsible for their children.  
 
Years tied up in the legal system fighting for what your child is entitled to and in the end a deadbeat parent that fights ends up not be responsible for their children.  
 
If you’re a good liar you’ll make it far in our legal system.  
 
A parent fighting in court to say NO to help with a child’s education, activities, equipment, health expenses, childcare basically any expense associated with the child is UNACCEPTABLE.  
 
Having to go to court to fight to get fair financial help for your children because one parent decides to hide their income, work part time etc is UNACCEPTABLE.  
 
A parent shouldn’t have to go back and forth between lawyers to request financial information.  
 
The legal system doesn’t protect our children it takes from their future and does more damage all around.  
 
The legal system doesn’t protect our children from being in the care of irresponsible people even if they have a record.  
 
It is mentally and financially draining.  
 
Our legal system allows our children to be exposed to things parents leave relationships for.  
 
Mental abuse, neglect, alcohol abuse is excused by our legal system.  
 
As soon as a parent leaves a relationship like this so they can better their children’s future they have all rights as a parents taken from them.  
 
It is an awful feeling knowing you can’t protect your children.  
 
I understand why some parents stay in abusive relationships now.  
 
When will our government protect our children?

A problem as I see it is there is always two sides to a issue. Abuse of the system is a two sided affair. No black and white issue in most cases. If it always the leaver or the stayer it would be simple. One fact most of us can agree on is it is the children who suffer. When one parent uses them as a pawn it seems the system has no way to easily discover it without more interference. It gets worse when cfs gets involved. Kids suffer big time.

The system needs an overhaul to today's society.  
 
#1-Both parents should be required to take parenting classes and there should be a class on respectful parenting on how to deal with each other without affecting the children.  
 
#2-Should be 50/50 for mother and father. Week on week off right from the start. If it can be proven that the other parent is a druggie, incompetent somehow, etc. If the father has never changed a diaper doesn't make him incompetent either.  
 
#3-With 50/50 visitation no child support is to be paid. Like it or not each parent must have a place to call home for their child/ren. It doesn't matter if the father makes more than the mother, that has nothing to do with the current situation. This is where things are old fashioned, they use the excuse of the lifestyle the child would have if the parents were together. The truth is they are not together and now must live as such. With equality in society there is no reason why the mother and vise versa find/get educated for a better paying position job.

An easy fix to this problem is to encourage our young women to stop sleeping around with men they barely know without using protection. It is not the government’s fault you decided to have unprotected sex with a guy who turned out to be a shitty man and father (surprise, surprise). You are now on the hook for raising that child or you can give it/them up for adoption if you are not able to afford it. Some men are real dogs and, unfortunately, that puts us women on the line for being the primary caregiver and making tough decisions. My dream for this new generation is for everybody to get to know their partners VERY well before starting to bring kids into the picture. By VERY well, I mean living together and/or married for at least three years.

Just because women bear the physical burden of carrying/birthing children, doesn''t mean they bear the physical burden of creating those children - that is a shared burden between both parties.  
 
I think what you meant to say was "stop encouraging people to have unprotected sex together, resulting in unwanted or unplanned pregnancies"  
 
Women are not solely to blame for becoming pregnant - people are responsible for their choices, women make choices to not use protection, men make choices to not use protection.. women make choices to not parent well, men make choices to not parent well.  
 
Maybe future generations would feel encouraged to make better choices if people who shared your belief would stop placing blame solely on one party, and instead holding everyone accountable for their own actions.  
 
Edited by RustOwl, 2018-10-04 14:27:44

Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex?  
 
Pregnancies happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies happen when men orgasm irresponsibly.  
 
Read this - https://medium.com/s/story/men-cause-100-of-unwanted-pregnancies-eb0e8288a7e5  
 
Please don't put shame on women - we need to stick together. Children are a shared responsibility. Many men are not taking that responsibility leaving women literally holding the baby and financially and emotionally stressed. And yes women do that too but the vast majority are men.  
 
Thank you to the many men out there who do take their responsibilities and share equally. You are great and we love you.

Of course both genders need to be responsible for using protection, but because we women do physically bear the burden of having the children, we need to be extra vigilant to take our birth control as directed and/or ensure that the men we have relations with are using condoms. The reality of the situation is some men feel they have no obligation to contribute after they’ve “done the dirty” and there is nothing we can make them do to change their ways, so wouldn’t it be easier to just prevent the pregnancy in the first place?

When i go to my rural doctors clinic guess what i see.  
I see a number of 4 to 1 of one segment of our society with young children.  
One in their arms, and at least one and up to 3 others under school age.  
The mother is single and if she is married the young father is not earning a wage by working.  
This is a issue.  
Maybe better life lessons and birth control would be a start.

MykaelaDaniels said "Of course both genders need to be responsible for using protection, but because we women do physically bear the burden of having the children, we need to be extra vigilant to take our birth control as directed and/or ensure that the men we have relations with are using condoms. The reality of the situation is some men feel they have no obligation to contribute after they’ve “done the dirty” and there is nothing we can make them do to change their ways, so wouldn’t it be easier to just prevent the pregnancy in the first place? "

Goes both ways. Some women because they gave birth think that it is their God given right to withhold the child from a father that wants to have responsibility.

I’m recently divorced and my wife and I were able to sort out the whole thing without the use of lawyers. It’s not the governments responsibility to raise my children! It’s the parents! Both of my daughters live with me and one is now graduated and working towards a life career while the other is a star athlete in both school and club sports...if parents can’t take responsibility for their own actions, they have no one to blame but themselves.

if you have kids it should be your responsibility to raise feed and cloth them....if you can afford them don't have them!!!

Fishin Guy said "    MykaelaDaniels said "Of course both genders need to be responsible for using protection, but because we women do physically bear the burden of having the children, we need to be extra vigilant to take our birth control as directed and/or ensure that the men we have relations with are using condoms. The reality of the situation is some men feel they have no obligation to contribute after they’ve “done the dirty” and there is nothing we can make them do to change their ways, so wouldn’t it be easier to just prevent the pregnancy in the first place? " Goes both ways. Some women because they gave birth think that it is their God given right to withhold the child from a father that wants to have responsibility. "

You bring up a good point about fathers who want to have responsibility.  
 
If an unintentional pregnancy occurs, but only one parent is interested in parenting, the law only recognizes the rights of the mother to make that choice. She can choose to have the baby against the father's wishes, and can compel the court to order him to, at the very least, have financial responsibility for the common child. This is enshrined in law in virtually every developed country in the world.  
 
However, if it's only the father who's interested in parenting, again enshrined in the laws of virtually every developed country in the world, the mother is under no obligation to carry the child to term.  
 
I realize the issue is more complicated than that (one of bodily intergrity for the woman, for example), but it does give you a sense of the inequity of the current laws regarding parentage and child rearing. The laws were enacted with good intentions, but it's resulted in women holding a great more deal of power in regards to rights and obligations.

T83 said "Family Law in Manitoba is an absolute disgrace and needs an overhaul.     Yes every situation is different and it’s not easy to deal with.     A person shouldn’t have to go through the legal system to make a parent be responsible for their children.     Years tied up in the legal system fighting for what your child is entitled to and in the end a deadbeat parent that fights ends up not be responsible for their children.     If you’re a good liar you’ll make it far in our legal system.     A parent fighting in court to say NO to help with a child’s education, activities, equipment, health expenses, childcare basically any expense associated with the child is UNACCEPTABLE.     Having to go to court to fight to get fair financial help for your children because one parent decides to hide their income, work part time etc is UNACCEPTABLE.     A parent shouldn’t have to go back and forth between lawyers to request financial information.     The legal system doesn’t protect our children it takes from their future and does more damage all around.     The legal system doesn’t protect our children from being in the care of irresponsible people even if they have a record.     It is mentally and financially draining.     Our legal system allows our children to be exposed to things parents leave relationships for.     Mental abuse, neglect, alcohol abuse is excused by our legal system.     As soon as a parent leaves a relationship like this so they can better their children’s future they have all rights as a parents taken from them.     It is an awful feeling knowing you can’t protect your children.     I understand why some parents stay in abusive relationships now.     When will our government protect our children? "

My SIL has a deadbeat, emotionally abusive ex husband. He owes her well into the 6 figures by now, and always seems to stay one step ahead of the government. You can't force a criminal to obey the law, whether it be child maintainence, theft or dealing drugs!  
 
But my SIL didn't rely on the government to take care of her and her children. She recognized the need to upgrade her education (she did) and took care of her children by herself. She's now a success at her chosen career, a homeowner and is doing well. She's been a strong parent for their 4 kids.