Discussions

I have been invited to a wedding and am unable to attend. It is for a not so close friend and am wondering if and how much I should be spending on a wedding gift. Is there any rules or protocols for the gift part of it?

Spend what you’re comfortable with and what you can afford. Who cares what everyone spends.

Doesn’t matter what you give or spend.  
You will not get a thank you card anyhow.  
Which burns my ———.

Hi, Boomer! I think this is a valid question along the lines of etiquette. My general rule of thumb for a situation like this is, if I cannot attend, and I give ample notice, I send a gift of approx. $50 in value, whether it be cash, gift card, or something they've registered for. If I do attend, I'm always aware that they (or their parents) have had the additional cost of my meal (and anyone with me), so I add about $25 per plate to the value of my gift. So, roughly speaking, if I go, I spend approx. $100, if I don't go, I spend approximately $50. If it is a close friend or family member, I go higher, perhaps double. But as Glamping said, at the end of the day, spend what you feel comfortable with, and - what many of us often forget - what we can actually afford.

Unpopular opinion here... if you can't attend the wedding and they're not a close friend/family member, I don't see why you need to get them a gift at all, nor can I imagine they'd expect one. People host weddings for the celebration, not for the loot.

I agree, if you’re unable to go and aren’t close, you’re not obligated to buy a gift

This is the prevailing etiquette now.  
 
Even if it is a closer family member, you are not obligated.  
 
Like someone else said, rules of propriety seem to have gone out the window anyway. I sent a gift from the registry of a cousin who's wedding I could not attend. I never got a thank you at all - in person or a card. I finally had to ask my aunt to find out if she actually got the gift as I didn't get a confirmation from the store either.