Some of the comments here have been very entertaining indeed.

I've been using the brand Purrdy Paws for three years on our one cat and he hasn't choked on them and he seems to be enjoying being alive as well. The other cat we have doesn't need them as he only claws at his cat tree and doesn't damage the furniture at all. The easiest way to put them on I find is to have a few already filled with the glue and then have someone just hold the cat up for 20 seconds and I slip them on. He then is distracted with cat treats for the next 5 minutes until they dry. I hope my process doesn't come off as too terribly inhumane...