Discussions

We've been together 7 years, had 2 children. We've been engaged for 6 years. He says whoever gets the engagment ring, has to pay the other half of what it's worth. I think that's silly. I want to keep it for my oldest child when he's older. Does he still have the right to it? In my head it was a gift of love to me. He claims all gifts that were given are to remain our gifts. He's got everything planned out so strategically that when we are done, I lose out on a lot, plus I'm a stay home mom and I'm keeping the kids. Guess I'll have to start researching....

wanting you to pay to keep the ring he gave you is pretty cold hearted

An engagement ring is traditionally returned when the engagement is called off  
 
Where one person makes a gift to another in contemplation of or conditional upon their marriage to each other and the marriage fails to take place or is abandoned, the question of whether or not the failure or abandonment was caused by or was the fault of the donor shall not be considered in determining the right of the donor to recover the gift.

If he paid for it, it is his ring

www.legalline.ca/legal-answers/what-happens-when-an-engagement-is-broken/

I heard somewhere that a married couple could go to the courthouse or city hall and get divorced by signing something and not have to get lawyers involved, just have to pay a fee of like 6-800$. Any truth to this at all?

riderpride said "I heard somewhere that a married couple could go to the courthouse or city hall and get divorced by signing something and not have to get lawyers involved, just have to pay a fee of like 6-800$. Any truth to this at all? "

Somewhat true....  
You can go and just download the divorce documents yourself and file them yourself as well at the courthouse for a fee. You still have to meet all of the requirements such as being separated for a year, etc. etc.  
This way of doing things is of course probably easier and cheaper if your divorce is completely uncontested. If you both agree to divide things, make custody arrangements, etc. etc. without any issues, then you can go this route. Unfortunately, I don't think most people are that compliant with each other in a situation of divorce, so most times you do need a lawyer involved to guide the process, even in cases where both parties are able to be civil and respectful.

From duhaime.org, a canadian legal website:  
When engagement rings are given before the engagement is broken off, the rule is whoever broke off the engagement forfeits the ring. So if your boyfriend decides that he doesn't want to get married after giving you an engagement ring, you can keep the ring. But if the woman decides to break off the engagement after accepting the ring, she has to return it to her suitor.  
 
Also, if the ring was given at any time such as valentines day, christmas, your birthday, anniversary etc it could be said to be not totally dependent on fulfilling the marriage and the giver doesn't have the rights to have it back even if it was YOU who called off the marriage. And if you called it off FOR GOOD REASON, he also would likely not have the right to receive back the engagement ring. Considering how long you were engaged, I would say he received something approximating marriage in exchange, so unless he can give you back 6 years of marriage-like existence I would say his claim on the ring is weak. However, emotionally you may like to have him just pay out half the cost, do you think it's good karma for your sons to offer this ring to a potential spouse?

In addition....is the OP married, or just engaged?  
Most of the same rules of divorce would apply if they are common law, but this is unclear in the post.  
 
As for the engagement ring, I don't think there are any cut and dry ways of determining possession, but traditionally speaking, a ring is a promise to marry. If the woman fulfills that promise, it's hers. If the wedding has not happened yet, typically it is returned. Also, it depends on who is at fault for the divorce. If the husband/boyfriend cheated for example, usually the woman could keep the ring. If the woman caused the marriage breakdown, then she should return the ring.  
No one set way of determining this, but past cases have led to examples as I've stated.  
 
In your case, it sounds like you should be returning the ring.

opening paragragh says"whoever gets the ring has to pay the other half".  
Drop the ring in his hand, get the money for your kids.  
The ring is now tainted, and your oldest child may not want it. Check out what people get selling used engagement and wedding sets on here. If he pays you half of the original price you'll be laughing and he'll have a tainted ring to sell.

You stated that you've been together for 7 years, have 2 kids together, and have been engaged for 6 years. Therefore, I'm presuming that you are living together, or were. If that is the case, then you are/were married through common law and each person is entitled to 50% of the assets and liabilities, if you so choose, unless there was a prenup.

Jellybean said "    riderpride said "I heard somewhere that a married couple could go to the courthouse or city hall and get divorced by signing something and not have to get lawyers involved, just have to pay a fee of like 6-800$. Any truth to this at all? " Somewhat true....   You can go and just download the divorce documents yourself and file them yourself as well at the courthouse for a fee. You still have to meet all of the requirements such as being separated for a year, etc. etc.   This way of doing things is of course probably easier and cheaper if your divorce is completely uncontested. If you both agree to divide things, make custody arrangements, etc. etc. without any issues, then you can go this route. Unfortunately, I don't think most people are that compliant with each other in a situation of divorce, so most times you do need a lawyer involved to guide the process, even in cases where both parties are able to be civil and respectful. "

Where can you download the divorce documents from?

With no disrespect and just more of a curiosity, why the engagement that went on for 6 long years? It just seems like quite an unusually lengthy time for an engagement and maybe one party didn''t want to commit, even after the kids came along.  
 
I tend to agree with frivolous pink. Engagement rings seem hard to sell second hand, despite their actual retail worth. A ring can carry emotions. Do you really want it? I guess you have to pick your battles.  
 
Edited by Kellye, 2016-05-16 11:36:40

Give him back the ring and make him pay you... After I got divorced and sold the ring, I literally got $50 for it, and that was after shopping around for a bit. You won't get much. So get what you can.

With frivolouspink, SparkyJones & axana! If he's willing to pay you 1/2 of the cost of the ring, take it before he wises up!

ZachT said "You stated that you've been together for 7 years, have 2 kids together, and have been engaged for 6 years. Therefore, I'm presuming that you are living together, or were. If that is the case, then you are/were married through common law and each person is entitled to 50% of the assets and liabilities, if you so choose, unless there was a prenup. "

The 50% rules doesn't apply to jewellery, clothing and other similar items including the engagement ring. These are all considered "personal possessions" and are not "communal possessions" and so are not subject to being split in the event of divorce or dissolution of a common law relationship.  
 
The only time the engagement ring is returned is if the recipient of the ring breaks off the engagement before a long-term common law relationship has formed.  
 
In other words, the OP is considered equivalent to married by this time and should not have to return the ring or give up any of her clothing or jewellery. It goes without saying that the children keep what is theirs.

Loudmouth said "    Jellybean said "    riderpride said "I heard somewhere that a married couple could go to the courthouse or city hall and get divorced by signing something and not have to get lawyers involved, just have to pay a fee of like 6-800$. Any truth to this at all? " Somewhat true....   You can go and just download the divorce documents yourself and file them yourself as well at the courthouse for a fee. You still have to meet all of the requirements such as being separated for a year, etc. etc.   This way of doing things is of course probably easier and cheaper if your divorce is completely uncontested. If you both agree to divide things, make custody arrangements, etc. etc. without any issues, then you can go this route. Unfortunately, I don't think most people are that compliant with each other in a situation of divorce, so most times you do need a lawyer involved to guide the process, even in cases where both parties are able to be civil and respectful. " Where can you download the divorce documents from? "

All court forms can be found on the Manitoba courts website.

Loudmouth said "    Jellybean said "    riderpride said "I heard somewhere that a married couple could go to the courthouse or city hall and get divorced by signing something and not have to get lawyers involved, just have to pay a fee of like 6-800$. Any truth to this at all? " Somewhat true....   You can go and just download the divorce documents yourself and file them yourself as well at the courthouse for a fee. You still have to meet all of the requirements such as being separated for a year, etc. etc.   This way of doing things is of course probably easier and cheaper if your divorce is completely uncontested. If you both agree to divide things, make custody arrangements, etc. etc. without any issues, then you can go this route. Unfortunately, I don't think most people are that compliant with each other in a situation of divorce, so most times you do need a lawyer involved to guide the process, even in cases where both parties are able to be civil and respectful. " Where can you download the divorce documents from? "

I am doing this myself soon.  
 
 
http://web2.gov.mb.ca/laws/rules/70ae.pdf

In Manitoba, even a bad agreement is an en-forcible agreement. So if he pulls the "let's divide the assets without the aid of a lawyer cause we'll save money", seek some legal advise. After 7 years together, you have certain entitlements which are basically that of a married couple. You have a claim on half his Canada Pension for the seven years (as he will have on yours, although often a stay at home mom doesn't have any), half of any other pension he has earned over those years, as well as half the communal assets. He can twist the settlement to his favor, but you don't have to agree to that. Don't let him bully you and don't sign anything. Once he realizes where this is going, and that he does not make the rules, the ring will be the least of his worries.  
 
If this advise is too late, and you have signed some form of agreement towards separation of the assets, then you will have some solace in the fact that you cannot deal away the child support payments. Those are not yours to deal away, but rather the entitlement of the children.

It's obvious he does not have the best interest of you and children, please get a lawyer and stop letting him tell you how it is,

I may be very wrong on this but if he gave it to you in my books it is yours, people on here are saying its a contract or something, I disagree.  
 
If me and the wife ever were to split I do know the very last thing on my mind and hers would be the ring, I hope she would keep it or give it away or throw it in the trash, can't imagine wanting that back under those circumstances.

Well you are wrong, it was a gift in contemplation of marriage. That didn't happen and the highest courts in Canada have already removed who's "fault" it didn't happen was from the equation. As long as he can prove he paid for it and asks for it in a timely fashion after calling off the engagement then the ring legally belongs to him. It this case it is weird because he wants to get paid for half...

So it's hard to say for sure. Also, if the wedding didn't happen the common law marriage DID happen. They were common law married because they lived together, had children, and represented themselves as a couple. So in fact it would be hard to say that the marriage DIDN'T happen. The WEDDING didn't happen. In every other way, the marriage was consummated.

For the great advice from many. Yes, the ring is the least of my worries. Yes, I will be seeking a lawyer as he chooses to make our own agreement. He wants to give me a lump sum of rrsps as long as we move out of our house. He wants things done quickly. I don't think he is thinking of our children's interests, just how much money he can receive and not have to pay.  
I apologize for not replying. ...I didn't realize I had to reply and was considered a troll if I chose not too.