Discussions

Happened to my daughter last weekend. They yelled things that stunned even me. Its taking everything in me to not hunt them down. How can people do this, i wish they could have seen the aftermath...

let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.  
Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it.

Look at it as a compliment? Why?  
 
"boys will be boys" is just an excuse for men to feel entitled to say whatever they want to random women with no consequence.  
 
Catcalling random strangers is vile.

Happy1986 said "let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.   Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it. "

you freaking kidding me? What decade are you living in?

Our niece has been subjected to this sort of thing from same-aged peers (she's 14). It's disgusting, and I wonder what kinds of stuff these boys have been exposed to that makes them think talking to anyone in that way is acceptable.  
 
But what's even more disgusting is when it's clearly grown men (who should know better) who's doing it to teenagers. It makes me wonder what kind of porn these guys are watching at home.

Is absolutely disgusting, and I'm sorry she had to go through that. I've been catcalled on numerous occasions in the last few years, always by creeps at the peak fitness centre on 10th walking home after school, sometimes wearing a high school shirt. Really makes you wonder what goes through people's heads.

Is that not considered sexual harassment ?

Sorry to say but most men are pigs that actually think they''re giving a compliment and women want to hear it. This is coming from a man btw. "They wouldn''t dress like that if they weren''t looking for attention" etc. I''ve had the same happen to me by women in cars too however. Didn''t like it at all happening to me and I wouldn''t do it to anyone else. well maybe a couple times when I was 16 or something 20 plus years ago. But then I had this thing happen to me called growing the f___ up. general rule of thumb? People don't like being yelled at by strangers on the street.  
 
Edited by miller, 2017-08-15 06:43:28

Happy1986 said "let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.   Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it. "

Wow.  
Do you know how frightened most women are when something like this happens? We instantly wonder if we''re about to be pursued. We check our surroundings and look for escape routes, possible weapons. If we''re alone, many of us jam car keys between our fingers and hurry our steps to our cars/well-lit places. Whether you''ve experienced this personally or not, it happens. Too often. I am never "complimented" by strangers boldly commenting on my body. I am personally threatened, because I never know when a man may take being ignored as grounds for following me and becoming more aggressive.  
 
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." Margaret Atwood  
 
Edited by Zapuma, 2017-08-15 07:43:30

unfortunately you cant control others, are they right to do this? NO! and as a society we do need to put pressure on them to stop being rude and start being gentlemen again, but we also need to realize we cant control how others act, only ourselves, for me that means being confident enough to stand up for myself, not be scared (if im intimidated i stop and look them directly in the eye, so far it has always stopped them in their tracks)and show the pigs that we dont find this amusing

It is in NO way a compliment. Catcalling is meant to put females in their place, to remind them that they are o:bjects and their safety and security can be removed at any moment. On what planet is this a compliment? I believe every man who catcalls knows for certain he is not complimenting the female but wants to make her uncomfortable.

Happy1986 said "let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.   Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it. "

And you're attitude is why the world is screwed up!! Totally disgusting take on how someone should feel or react to a p.o.s.! Unreal and archaic attitude, sure hope you're not raising kids.

This is just as bad as the whole "boys will be boys" excuse. If you have daughters I feel sorry for them. All this person is doing is perpetuating rape culture and moving backward on the scale of "this is okay, and this is not"

Happy1986 said "let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.   Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it. "

That's one of the worst things I've seen on eB, and that's saying a lot.

DSopinion said "It is in NO way a compliment. Catcalling is meant to put females in their place, to remind them that they are o:bjects and their safety and security can be removed at any moment. On what planet is this a compliment? I believe every man who catcalls knows for certain he is not complimenting the female but wants to make her uncomfortable. "

while most of us dont take catcalling as a complement i dont think all men who whistle and comment on a girls looks are meaning anything about their safety.  
 
They are o:bjectifying them by only looking at their bodies, not who they are, but honestly most people are initially attracted to looks, we are human after all  
 
misguided attempt to say you are pretty but still i do believe [i]some[/i] of them think that is exactly what they are saying  
 
dont forget girls catcall too

Hi, we're very interested in learning more from many of the people who have commented on this "catcalling" thread.  
 
Please give us a call in the newsroom 725-0515 and leave a message on our voicemail, or send us an email at news@cklq.com and let us know how we can get in touch with you.  
 
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I want to clearly state I abhor sexual lewd comments some have described. They have zero place in a civilized society.  
 
The balance or positive counterpart to such comments can be complimentary. To meet a stranger who is dressed smartly I would see nothing inappropriate to hear. Hey I like your **** looks good. That colour looks good on you. Tone of voice converting respect would underscore a persons sincerity.  
 
In this age where people take offence some should lighten up a bit. That said those who make lewd comments should have their face inverted. Real men hearing those kind of comments should provide the service.

I don't think catcalling is okay and I wouldn't tell people to take it as a compliment but I always find it very one sided. Men are looked at as disgusting pigs if they do it but women get away with it, it seems? If you've ever watched the Ellen Degeneres show, you know what I mean. It's constant male catcalling on there!!

The sad thing is, the average age that girls report first getting this kind of harassment is in the 10-13 range. Sometimes even younger.

First: I am so glad to see so many people condemning this act. It is absolutely not a compliment and completely unnecessary. Guys will do it to get a reaction, either it be a good or bad one. I find that even flipping them off or telling them to get a life gets a laugh out of these guys. It's all they are looking for.  
 
"Boys will be boys"? No, boys should be held to the same standard as everyone else for their stupid and gross actions.

There's not much difference between your "general catcalling" and lewd comments besides the choice of language. The intent behind it is pretty much the same.  
 
If someone is harassed like this over and over: even a whistle can make them incredibly uncomfortable. Sample's daughter is probably going to be paranoid every time someone calls something at her from their car window or honks their horn, no matter how friendly. I know I have to hold back my knee-jerk reaction of shouting back after I realize it's a friend honking their car horn to get my attention.  
 
I think one of the reasons women are so sick of it is because how often it happens to them. Yes, men get cat-called sometimes. But does it happen to you every time you go out? Do you find yourself choosing to wear different types of clothes when you run outside to try and avoid it? It gets very trying.  
 
I'm curious if anyone reaches out to CKLQ with their stories because every woman I know a few.

miller said "Sorry to say but most men are pigs that actually think they''re giving a compliment and women want to hear it. This is coming from a man btw. "They wouldn''t dress like that if they weren''t looking for attention" etc. I''ve had the same happen to me by women in cars too however. Didn''t like it at all happening to me and I wouldn''t do it to anyone else. well maybe a couple times when I was 16 or something 20 plus years ago. But then I had this thing happen to me called growing the f___ up. general rule of thumb? People don't like being yelled at by strangers on the street.     Edited by miller, 2017-08-15 06:43:28"

Either a gross exageration or you need to evaluate the kind of people you associate with.

I meant most men who do this sort of thing. Could have worded it better I guess. I was a bit riled up at the time from memories of it happening to me. I can imagine how hard it could be for women.  
Some will do it out of peer pressure or just plain naivete in regards to how to properly compliment a woman. Due to age or whatever. Then there are those who actually want to scare and unnerve the person. However, I think most people (women too) who do this actually think they're brightening the person's day or something. Like they stepped out of the house hoping a bunch of strangers would yell at them from their vehicle that they have a nice a** or whatever. There ARE a lot of men that have enough empathy and common sense not to do it at all I know.  
 
Edited by miller, 2017-08-16 05:18:54

mehwhatever said "let it bother you. Try to look at it as a compliment.   Any "aftermath" doesn't make much sense, you don't know these people they don't know you, they are just being childish pigs, it happens regularly. Shes gonna have to get used to it. "

Name checks out

To try to answer the OPs question as to why people do this, heres my take on it.  
 
I think there's two different kinds of catcalling.  
 
One is simply a fumbled, socially awkward attempt at flirtatious complementing, I think some of the mild instances from men and most instances from women fall under this category. Throughout the years of my life I've been catcalled many times by women (usually from a distance, that's probably where I look my best) I have trouble believing their intention was to put me in my place, remind me I'm an o:bject, and threaten my safety and security.  
 
The next kind is a form of sexual coercion, specifically aggression and harassment, it's not a compliment, but a show of dominance, and it is to assert the aforementioned. When this behaviour is observed in other primates, animal behaviorists theorize that it is a way for males to train females to be afraid of them and be more likely to surrender to future sexual advances.  
 
It's understood that most behaviour is the result of natural selection, our genes that make us who we are predispose us to acting In a certain way, cultural conditioning can affect us to a certain extent, but our core hardwiring will always shine through. To the point, any sexual behaviour in our prehistoric past that increased the likelihood of copulation (no matter how unpleasant), and therefore the propagation of the species, was selected upon as advantageous and the genes responsible for that behaviour reproduced into the next generation to continue the cycle.  
That's simply an "is what it is" explanation, and absolutely no excuse for this behaviour, a strong willed person can override whatever socially harmful predispositions they carry.  
 
It's figured that there are many different phenotypes of males, a gene orientated competition of various reproductive behaviours, and obviously the vast majority of men carry genes that predispose them to relative tameness and monagamy as this stable behaviour allows for better chances of infants surviving to adulthood.

Anything yelled at a stranger going about their business is extreme enough. There is no need to comment to a stranger about their anatomy or appearance. NO NEED. It's humiliating for many people to have their appearance called out in a public situation, whether it's intended as a compliment or not, save your compliments for the people in your OWN LIFE.  
 
I don't think men or women should do this, but the thing to remember is the Margaret Atwood quote, I really appreciated: Men are afraid women will laugh at them: Women are afraid men will kill them.

Whether anyone reached out to CKLQ or not. It would be interesting if they make that a question of the day. Because it serves such a range of age, I wonder if that you opinions are different based on this. Hopefully they give some feedback to the site.