Discussions

ok so I have a question, I am having hurt and bitter feelings towards my ex... so I'll tell u a little about the story...  
 
about 5 years ago we broke up, we'd been together for 8 years. about 1 month after we broke up we started sleeping together again, about 6 months after that we moved back in with each other, it was never official that we were back together but I assumed...  
so first question is would u assume the same?  
 
next for the last 5 years still no "official" relationship,then about a month and a half ago approx june 17thish he tells me its not gonna work out and continues to live with me I told him to get out by July 1st, he was out on June 23 by july 1st he was living with his girlfriend. I assumed that this girlfriend thing started about the time he told me he was no longer interested...  
 
keeping in mind that 3 times before this I was stupid and took him back after he'd cheated... would u assume the same?  
 
now I AM done, but we have 2 kids together, in the last month since he moved out he has only seen the kids 2 times, both times I was working and he had to come "babysit" his kids, is it wrong for me to be bitter about this considering that in total its only been 14 hours and a couple of those he spent sleeping, and the rest playing video games or on the phone... ( the oldest daughter told me when she was upset she didnt get to spend time with daddy ) He has to come to see them at my house because his house isnt suitable for them... he cannot take them weekend cuz he works... I work too and I find sitters y can't he?  
 
He's asked me Y I am mad at him... well duh... I believe that he cheated on me and now not only has he hurt me he is hurting the kids too... I am so so bitterly angry and I need to get over it I know but its so hard...  
 
he doesnt think I have a right to be hurt... the relationship was over... " y can't I get that"  
 
I know only time will heal the wounds but if I hate him so much then y do I still love him... and how can I love someone who cheated on me 4 times...