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Recently I was cheated on... I only ever thought these sort of things happened on TV or in books and the movies. The hurt it has left me with is quite a lot. I loved him with all my heart. And to feel like he just trampled it so easily is incredibly painful and devastating. I was wondering if anyone has gone through this and may have advice to help me move on?  
 
I am thinking about seeing a counsellor over this as this time of the year is never easy for me to begin with (Christmas and the month of December holds a lot of dark memories and anniversaries.)  
 
I don't wish to rehash any stories or the like. I just need to find a way or any tricks or helpful tools to help me move on...

Sorry to hear that, it's a very difficult thing to go through and unfortunately it is pretty common.  
 
My best advice is to keep busy, whether that is hanging out with a friend/s or family, work on a hobby, take a course, volunteer, exercise, etc. Don't isolate yourself. It really just take times, over time it just hurts less and eventually you'll rarely think of it.  
 
I caught my now ex fiancé cheating and it was hard but I surrounded myself with people I care about, spent lots of time with my sister whether it was watching tv and eating popcorn or going out with her and some friends. I also exercised to relieve stress and started taking courses to get my diploma. I was finally focusing on just me and bettering my life.

i know what your feeling . i went through the said thing kinda. it was not i was cheated on . but it felt like my life was cheated on . when someone you love takes there own life . An yes its very hard in both cases .  
 
please dont shut down like i did . it took my friends an family to get me out again . i just wanted to be alone . an now i know that would not have been healthy for me .  
i say be strong . an get out . dont close the door .  
i did . an thanks to all that got my feet back under me .  
i now have moved on . yes it does take time to move on but it does happen .  
 
to the OP listen to this song . Stitches .

I know at this time its easy to blame yourself....for not being pretty enough, young enough, smart enough, etc but the truth is you will never be perfect enough for this type of person. Because there is something missing wrong with them. They are searching for someone to make them happy and they will never find it. As the only person that can do that is our own selves. I know what it is like to feel like curling your self up in a ball and never get up but the truth is you dodged a bullet and are way better off without him. One day you will realize this to be true. My advice is to delete his phone number from your phone, delete all social media and stop all contact. Spend time in promoting self awareness, fitness and friends.

After 21 years of marriage, 4 kids and a cheating husband, I am now free! Being cheated on isn't easy, but I would rather be alone then degraded that way again! I was on anti-depressants for 3/4 of my marriage. I took him back after his first affair and the second one that was it. Now I have been free of anti-depressants for 2 years (he's been gone 3 years) I have never been more happy! You will get there!  
I found exercise to be my secret to happiness and surrounding myself with only positive people! If it isn't fun I know longer do it!  
I also have a saying that I live by! "Do not worry about tomorrow because you will miss out on today!" Enjoy today and do something you always wanted to do! Make yourself smile, you deserve the best!

I've sent you a private message.

JehovahsThickness said "Recently I was cheated on... I only ever thought these sort of things happened on TV or in books and the movies. The hurt it has left me with is quite a lot. I loved him with all my heart. And to feel like he just trampled it so easily is incredibly painful and devastating. I was wondering if anyone has gone through this and may have advice to help me move on?     I am thinking about seeing a counsellor over this as this time of the year is never easy for me to begin with (Christmas and the month of December holds a lot of dark memories and anniversaries.)     I don't wish to rehash any stories or the like. I just need to find a way or any tricks or helpful tools to help me move on... "

I will begin by apologizing to you for the emotional pain that you went through. Being cheated on is a terrible feeling and a difficult thing to over come. The truth of the matter is, you may never get over it. And although its different for each person, this may not necessarily be the end for you. I have been cheated on before and found that by working on the relationship, it actually turned out to be a better one when we tried again. In other situations, you may find that you are a better person after everything is said and done and you walk your separate ways.  
 
Just remember one thing. Nobody says you have to get over it any time soon. In fact, nobody says you have to get over it at all. You will heal in your own time, when you are ready.  
 
Prayers are with you  
 
 
 
 
(This post has been strictly reviewed by the writer, and it conforms with the ebrandon terms of service. Its states facts relevant to the topic at hand, mentions no names and does not slander other individuals. Questions, comments, queries, concerns or editing suggestions should be made to the writer. Have a good day)

JehovahsThickness said "Recently I was cheated on... I only ever thought these sort of things happened on TV or in books and the movies. The hurt it has left me with is quite a lot. I loved him with all my heart. And to feel like he just trampled it so easily is incredibly painful and devastating. I was wondering if anyone has gone through this and may have advice to help me move on?     I am thinking about seeing a counsellor over this as this time of the year is never easy for me to begin with (Christmas and the month of December holds a lot of dark memories and anniversaries.)     I don't wish to rehash any stories or the like. I just need to find a way or any tricks or helpful tools to help me move on... "

I will begin by apologizing to you for the emotional pain that you went through. Being cheated on is a terrible feeling and a difficult thing to over come. The truth of the matter is, you may never get over it. And although its different for each person, this may not necessarily be the end for you. I have been cheated on before and found that by working on the relationship, it actually turned out to be a better one when we tried again. In other situations, you may find that you are a better person after everything is said and done and you walk your separate ways.  
 
Just remember one thing. Nobody says you have to get over it any time soon. In fact, nobody says you have to get over it at all. You will heal in your own time, when you are ready.  
 
Prayers are with you  
 
 
 
 
(This post has been strictly reviewed by the writer, and it conforms with the ebrandon terms of service. Its states facts relevant to the topic at hand, mentions no names and does not slander other individuals. Questions, comments, queries, concerns or editing suggestions should be made to the writer. Have a good day)

Not sure if you're asking for advice on how to move forward and past this hurt or move on and away from the relationship. Neither will be easy but from experience it is much harder to work through the affair than to pack up and move on.  
Working through this will be exactly that, hard work but it can be done. Be honest with them about how you feel and why, write it down if you have to but be honest. Finding out what honestly drew them to the other person is going to hurt but it is the only way you will learn what they thought was missing in the relationship so the you can both work together to fix it.  
The old adage "love conquers all" is true. With brutal honesty and true love you can get through this.

I would like to say thank you for the kind words and support. I know I am in for a rough ride but it sounds like I just need to focus on me... It will feel so strange for a bit. Scary actually. Going from "we" to "me".

My counsellor told me - it is like you were going 100 miles / hour, and then someone derailed you. There is a lot of damage. Takes a long time to get through the wreckage, and get the train going again...  
 
Counselling was ok - I don't know if I would recommend it or not.  

It's happened to me a couple times. Were you married or living together? Can make it hard to now sort all that out. I suggest being level headed and as separated from your emotions as you can when it comes to big decisions about homes, kids, separating items. He doesn't deserve to be apart of your emotional being anymore either. Avoid opportunities to show any. Sometimes a partner cheats nearing then end of a relationship, or where a breakdown has already occurred, one or both partners both happy and the eyes wander, not right, but it happens. Think about whether you truly wanted to be with this person for the rest of your life, or do you think, in time, you will actually be happy ended. That's good fuel for looking forward to the future. I'm well behind those relationships, I admit I still battle some trust issues with new partners, I suggest therapy alone for that reason, not every other person you date is this person, try to trust again. Other then that, I can assure you I am extremely happy I'm not with those ex's anymore, even if they never cheated!

is either a cause or an effect. Any disaster exists forever.  
 
It depends where in time that you jump into it, whether it is a cause or an effect.  
 
As in all disasters, you take charge and solve your problem sooner, not later.  
 
You find happiness again when you do that. The problem that  
needs fixing is your problem, not someone else's. Accept that fact.  
 
I sense that you need to love yourself, as you are, really, before  
another can love you. Something bad happened to you, way back.  
 
Resolve that first.

Hi there. I have been through what you are dealing with. I have started a support group for women going through separation to help others dealing with this difficult time. If you would like to speak with me, ask any questions or come out to see if the support group would be a help to you, please email movingon42@hotmail.ca. When I went through it I went to counseling which was a huge help for me but I constantly wished I could talk to others who were going through the same thing. Someone who could relate to how I was feeling. I'm here to help if you like.