Discussions

Has anyone had any experience with their wife having an emotional.affair with their boss ?  
Would like to hear if this is happening more frequently than men know

emotional affairs happen all the time from both sides but just because someone is close doesnt mean they are having an emotional affair  
 
I have heard of bosses spouses being jealous of the secretary because bosses go home and talk all about their secretary, the boss is close with the secretary because they work closely with intimate parts of the business so they have to be trusted and, they are working closely with the secretary all day long so the secretary is brought up lots when they are home, its unsensitive on the boss's part but it can be hard to see too  
 
that being said your wife may be having an emotional affair and if their closeness is something that is bothering you its in your right to tell your wife and hopefully come to an understanding  
 
if it turns out she is having an emotional affair then act like you would if she was having a regular affair, decide your course of action and go for it, dont let her tell you it doesnt matter because its not sex, for many sex can be just an act its the emotional trust that makes the relationship

She tell you? Or did someone else tell you? Or is it intuition? You can't make someone else be in love with you but I hope it works out for you.  

How do you know she is having an emotional affair? Usually (not always) emotional affairs start from feeling emotionally available a.k.a. not having emotional needs met at home. Emotional needs come in a few basic forms: communication. Conversation and being listened to. That means actually facing the person you are supposed to be talking to and giving inviting responses/comments/questions that promote conversation in a non-defensive way.  
Appreciation. Does your body language and your word and actions show appreciation for the other person? Do your eyes light up? Do you give them your attention? Do you show tespect for their comments and ideas? Do you appreciate their humour, wit, and ability?  
Lastly there is human touch. Not always included, but it is a factor of human emotional needs. Not talking about sex either. If you only touch a woman when it is sexual that is often interpretated as you only want sex and anybody would do...that become a major turn off. Do you ever touch her shoulder, hand, waist, chin, ear, elbow, cheek, foot, knee or anywhere else just in passing thoughout the day? Do you touch her elbow when holding a door for her? Touch her shoulder if teach past her for a cup? Hold her hand when watching TV? Brush fingers when taking something she is passing to you?  
 
For most people (both men and women) it is ALL about the little things. Everybody wants to feel appreciated for being who they are. It is when people feel taken for granted, ignored or hurt that they become emotionally available.  
And the truth is...she may not actually be in love with her boss and he may not be in love with her. It could be that she is in love with her job: a job where is is appreciated and respected for what she does.  
I have had many jobs where I was in love with the job. I had one boss (who was a good boss and a good guy) whose wife was burning jealous of our qork relationship. If only she could have figured out that he was deeply in love with her and that he was definitely not my type. Outside of work issues there was absolutely no connection between us.  
How do you know your wife is having an emotional affair?

what AndreaD. says about vulnerability is true, for some reason if your wife is having an emotional affair then she was missing something to make her vulnerable to one.  
 
Not saying that makes it all your fault tho, shes a big girl and also needs to communicate with you as well, tell you her needs, show you warmth and love too but it does give you an idea what you might have to do if you want to try and save the marriage, if its not an emotional affair like you think there is still obviously communication and trust or self esteem issues in your marriage that you guys need to work on  
 
i wish you luck

I have been having an emotional affair with my boss for over 3 years now. We are very similar and we like a lot of the same things. Conversations run so smoothly and effortlessly. He is attentive to my needs, he grabs me a coffee out on bad days, he texts me funny memes when I am in boring meetings, he will help me when my work gets to heavy, etc. He thinks I am funny and complements me on how smart and articulate I am and so on and so on. I am married have been for years and we have 3 kids. I love my husband and will forever. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, but my husband is not romantic, he doesn't compliment me, or buy me anything unless I specifically ask for. I am totally ok with this because I married him like this and wouldn't want him any other way. I will never do anything with my boss, but it is nice for someone to "get me". My husband has commented on how easily my boss and I get along and hinted that it makes him uncomfortable sometimes. So is this cheating, I think so yes because I don't talk about it to him anymore and I feel guilty for being so close to someone that is not my husband. I am at a crossroads where I need to find a new job because I am not being fair to my husband. So for the original poster of this thread, look out this may become something more. Or look deep inside yourself and see if you can start fulfilling the needs that she is looking elsewhere for, or walk away now before anyone gets hurt. This is just my advice take it of don't.

i dont think your hubby walking away first will make no one hurt, if fact everyone hurts with a break up  
 
its really your job to walk away or distance yourself from your boss, as much as he gets you, as a married woman you are not free to be engaging in this type of relationship, i can see you know this and it does suck but obviously your boss has highlighted a few things that are missing in your marriage, hopefully you can talk with your husband and work on that relationship  
 
for those who haven't gotten that far really what you should do is cut the personal stuff off before it gets to the point where you are really connected, i know easier said then done but when those funny texts come in, just dont respond unless its work stuff ect. it usually stops the connection, the more susceptible you are the more you should try to keep it proffessional

traveller said "i dont think your hubby walking away first will make no one hurt, if fact everyone hurts with a break up     its really your job to walk away or distance yourself from your boss, as much as he gets you, as a married woman you are not free to be engaging in this type of relationship, i can see you know this and it does suck but obviously your boss has highlighted a few things that are missing in your marriage, hopefully you can talk with your husband and work on that relationship     for those who haven't gotten that far really what you should do is cut the personal stuff off before it gets to the point where you are really connected, i know easier said then done but when those funny texts come in, just dont respond unless its work stuff ect. it usually stops the connection, the more susceptible you are the more you should try to keep it proffessional "

I totally agree with you on this Traveller. It may seem innocent and just "friendly/Neighborly" but this is how emotional affairs start - and having someone depend on your mate - or him being more concerned about meeting her needs than you own, is a real issue.  
 
There is no need for a man in a relationship to feel he needs to take care of any other womans needs than the gal he is in a "Monogamous" relationship with - well, other than his Porn sex partners. Where do you draw the line about what is "cheating"???  
 
and the comment I like best is "if you are in a relationship you are not free to be acting in this manner with anyone other than your partner. [a married woman you are not free to be engaging in this type of relationship,] I concur. I believe this also applies to MEN - and their "over friendly behavior" -  
 
 
 
 
 
 
Edited by whatthewhat, 2016-04-19 00:07:18

you draw the line where it works for the two people in the relationship, if one has an issue with the other watching porn then its an issue for both in the relationship, in a good relationship the two will come to something that works for both, in a bad one both feelings are ignored,that works with any subject, from religion, money, sex flirting and porn really its all about respect