Discussions

I admit.....I am starting this discussion to get feedback and don't worry, I know there will be all sorts....some supportive....some not but I am interested in what Westman has to say.  
 
I have been trying to get a divorce from my EX for the past 8 years. After 20 years of marriage, I pulled out of the relationship. The reasons.....doesn't matter but for me, it was the thing I needed to do.  
 
Since our breakup, I have continued to be a supportive father to my children and have continued to be there for their sports, school, meetings, grads, etc. I began the divorce process after a year of separation and thought it was to be easy....It had been a year. I know my ex was hoping we would get back together but it was not going to happen.  
 
After a year of working through the process, I began another relationship. Yes, my ex was not happy but it has now been 6 years and I continued to get stonewalled at every turn by my ex finding reasons to not sign the divorce papers, including sending back the papers for a date change on the cover letter.  
 
I have been paying child support the whole time to the point where I am left with one child on support. And yes, I have been paying spousal for years. But still, she wont sign.  
 
Last year, I tried to claim spousal support payments for the first time on my taxes but because I don't have an officially signed document, it was denied and cost me money with penalties. This year, the same thing. Denied due to no officially signed papers.  
 
So here is the question....if there is no "officially signed" document for spousal and since the games continue and she wont' sign, should I stop spousal payments? I feel I have no other option.....

http://www.nsfamilylaw.ca/spousal-support/general-information-spousal-support/faqs this site, so the question is, is there papers saying you have to pay any support ? If not stop, your not helping yourself. As for the kids if they need something you buy it and keep the recipes for what you paid. That way you have a way to show that yes you were supporting your children. Also look into settling a child support agreement before lawyers who look at what you make not what you need to spend to live make up a number.

Thanks for the input. Website has some good info. Just need to get this done.

After 8 years you should be asking a lawyer about this. You need some legal advice and probably representation so you can move on.

I'm assuming you are dealing with a lawyer? You either need a new lawyer or get talking with one. This exact same thing happened to a lady I worked with and she went before a judge and explained the situation and he granted her the divorce....not sure why your current lawyer hasn't suggested going this route?

after 8 years i would think you should be able to get a divorce without a signature, its ridiculous she can force you to be married to her against your wishes, go to a lawyer and ask about going to a judge to get it done. I would also ask about support, it seems like if you cant claim it you should have to pay it, if you do stop payment on your own I would put the cash into an account until you find out if you are going to have to pay, that way you have it in case you are ordered to back pay

I sent you a pm

 
 
Edited by Listening, 2016-05-25 13:50:17

traveller said "after 8 years i would think you should be able to get a divorce without a signature, its ridiculous she can force you to be married to her against your wishes, go to a lawyer and ask about going to a judge to get it done. I would also ask about support, it seems like if you cant claim it you should have to pay it, if you do stop payment on your own I would put the cash into an account until you find out if you are going to have to pay, that way you have it in case you are ordered to back pay "

Except when one party doesn't consent I think it needs to go to trial. A desk divorced, when both parties agree, a judge just signs off on. Maybe that's what going on here?  
 
If there's an order for support (child or spousal), you must pay it. If there's no order, I don't think you're under any obligation to pay, although putting in a bank account for now is a good idea.

Sadly, this looks like a sad case of that phrase coined by Shakespeare: "Hell hath not fury like a woman scorned." But yeah, as the other posts advise, it is time for a good lawyer