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Not enough info

So sorry, sounds like your relationship is ending. Counsellor and/or lawyer time.  
 
I'd change the locks and refuse admittance, spouse will hopefully cause a disturbance so you can have her/him incarcerated. Little life lesson in right and wrong served.  
 
 
(keyword: affair, an affair's an affair)  
(emotional affair =:'s adultery of the heart and mind)  
 
Edited by S.V.S., 2016-08-31 06:28:13

your spouse has admitted to an emotional affair and sounds like they have no intentions of stopping the connection, they feel since the relationship isnt sexual then its a ok, obviously its not to you so now you have your choices to make,I cant tell you what they are but i can tell you to make the one that YOU can handle, dont settle because you are afraid, its not a great life to live  
 
the one thing i would add is that if they mean they have a connection to their boss like family, like sister or brotherly then thats different, if they are putting them before you tho its a problem

this has happened to me as well recently - it is very hurtful when you learn that your "boyfriend" "significant other" "long term sex partner" . . . has/is texting, establishing close emotional relationships with other members of the opposite sex. Suddenly they "don''t have time" - they are "so busy" on their phones - "they are called away alot" - and you are left wondering where they are, what they are doing, and who the hell they are talking too while sitting on the toilet??? !!! >: >: >: This actually happened to me when he chose to connect with his "Neighbor lady" . . . who seemed to enjoy being an "Interloper" - and his loyalty was challenged - and I did not appreciate things and told him so - and then he turned into a man who I did not recognize anymore - yep - this sucks - and I hear you -  
 
but, are you married to this dude??? I was just in a 10 year long monogamous relationship with my guy - so my advice would be different, if I knew more about your situation.  
 
Remember, this too shall pass . . . and for me, once I am "disrespected" "lied too" "feeling USED" by my mate/lover - action needs to happen - especially once some other chick takes priority over ME !!!!........... this is making my blood boil again . . . (so, this is my opinion on your question)  
 
Edited by whatthewhat, 2016-09-01 13:22:50

straightanswer said " voice your opinions   What would it mean too you if your spouse has and admits to having an emotional affair with their boss and states that the boss's family is their family and they are a grown up and that they have been faithfull to you and their boss ?   As well if a co-worker had sent a letter to your spouse warning them that they are playing in the field of infedelity and it is obvious and they feel it is a personal attack , would you recommend a lawyer ? Edited by admin, 2016-08-30 22:47:40. Reason: title"

alot you haven't been told... you only have a part of the story, you have your hands full, if you feel your relationship is worth salvaging, go for it, if trust is an issue and will always be, send them to their boss for support and see if the bosses spouse feel the same? so be it... good luck

I would start with Counselling

do you have kids? Do you live with him? Are you employed where he is?  
 
If you do live with him, start saving your money - so you will have your own money to pay for a damage deposit and rent in your own place - start looking for somewhere else to live - stop having sex with him - or if you can't then MAKE him wear a condom - and if he refuses, then just do NOT have sex with this dude. Do you work together with them? Does he go away on business trips with his "boss"??  
 
You need to start thinking of yourself here - and do not allow this person to take you for granted - talk to him - and if he is lying, then let hell break loose ........ how does that sound for a starter??? oh, and I am sure HE will have a condom handy - and if he does, then that should give you answers as well . . .  
 
So, can you please answer some more of our questions OP??? That will help us give you better responses . . .

I know where and what you are feeling, my wife has been in a combined relationship to the point that she is truly not herself, she has turned over the home and children to this best same sex person. she has developed habits that are totally against what she was 2 yrs ago and today we are at the point where something has to change for the sake of our family and to some how stop this path of destruction she is on and cannot or will not see.  
 
I wish you all the best...I know my next steps now after having my children crying regular that they want mommy time and mommy is too busy with the best friend.

Emotional affairs are just a painful, if not more, to the SO being cheated on as a physical affair. I have unfortunately been a victim of both. I found out my husband had a physical affair a few years ago. I made the very hard decision to stay, not because I still loved him, but because we have children together and I didn’t think I would be able to provide for them without him. He is currently involved in an emotional affair (I have no proof that it is physical but I am 100% CERTAIN that it is emotional). He thinks he is hiding it well, but I am not a fool this time. I have tried counselling. The counsellor was very harsh, but said things that I needed to hear. He told me that it doesn’t matter how hard I tried, the trust would never return. This is so true. Trust will NEVER, EVER return. The relationship will never be the same. The other woman only hears one side of the story. The one cheating always portrays the spouse to be a horrible person. But they should realize that the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is so very true. As a result of these affairs, my family is broken, I am dying inside. I will have to make a very difficult decision very soon, but I know that I will eventually be able to live without constant fear of having my emotions manipulated. However, I don’t think that I will be able to trust anyone again.

Falbala said "Emotional affairs are just a painful, if not more, to the SO being cheated on as a physical affair. I have unfortunately been a victim of both. I found out my husband had a physical affair a few years ago. I made the very hard decision to stay, not because I still loved him, but because we have children together and I didn’t think I would be able to provide for them without him. He is currently involved in an emotional affair (I have no proof that it is physical but I am 100% CERTAIN that it is emotional). He thinks he is hiding it well, but I am not a fool this time. I have tried counselling. The counsellor was very harsh, but said things that I needed to hear. He told me that it doesn’t matter how hard I tried, the trust would never return. This is so true. Trust will NEVER, EVER return. The relationship will never be the same. The other woman only hears one side of the story. The one cheating always portrays the spouse to be a horrible person. But they should realize that the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is so very true. As a result of these affairs, my family is broken, I am dying inside. I will have to make a very difficult decision very soon, but I know that I will eventually be able to live without constant fear of having my emotions manipulated. However, I don’t think that I will be able to trust anyone again. "

You deserve to be happy. I hope you find the strength to leave because you deserve so much more than what you're getting. I wish you all the best.

thanks for the input on this posted discussion and to WHATTHEWHAT and to FALBALA i am trully sorry to hear of your situations !  
When i started this discussion i made a decission to leave it gender neuteral as to widen the range of answers and must confess my spouse who is having the affair is female !!!  
It has been three years since it started to show signs and 1 year since i called the crisis hot line and broke down and at that point she was only interested that i seek help on what was bothering me ! At that point my emotions we claimed to be wrong and when confronted our sexuality was challenged along with my health as thyroid problems can create emotional ups and downs and that can create jelousy which was uncalled for !  
But as i talked with her stating she should look at it from my point of view and as well what will happen if the bosses wife finds out , this is when she sat back in total silence !  
The statement about them texting each other almost made sense except texting another person that is 20 ft away , almost has validity ! She kinda gavew it up on him stating he has two phones ! one for work and one for more work I would assume !  
Having her talk about him like i dont exist , him being mentally in our bedroom twice -once in conversation after sex and the second time in a dream as wel as her last mirrage killing comment and I quote { i dont get it i have been faithful to you and i have been faithful to ----- } THAT DID IT !!! In past discussions i stated i didnt want to here his name around me but there it was in a bold statement . no wonder it took her several days to figure out what she would bake for a cake for his 50 th birthday !!  
Thanks to those who posted and a heart felt sorry to anyone going through spousal situations that show no sign of mending even after discussion and coucilling !

just a final point two those concerned !  
Therer has not and will not be any abuse mentally or physically !!  
For the most part the conversations were some what heated but at times but were always carried out respectfully and to date we still hold at minimum a friendship which i would assess as the remnants of 30 plus years of mairrage !

I would call the bosse,s wife and explain the situation to her and tell her that your wife will be moving in with them, considering the fact that your wife feels as tho they are family . then watch the fun begin .

Studies show that there is(*generally*) a stark difference in how infidelity is perceived by gender. -  
Men see sexual infidelity as most threatening, whereas Women see emotional infidelity as most threatening. ~ Men are more likely to forgive emotional infidelity, whereas women are more likely to forgive sexual infidelity, but not vice-versa.  
 
Obvious evolutionary reason for this as men need to know if a child is theirs and exhibit a jealous response to sexual cheating. - On the otherhand, a woman knows if a child is hers but must know that their man is devoted to them(and child) and exhibit a jealous response to their man falling in love with another woman.  
 
A Woman telling a Man that they are having an emotional affair BUT its okay because they have been sexually faithful is the same as a Man telling a Woman that they have been having a sexual affair BUT its ok because they have been emotionally faithful.  
 
To women trying to trivialize an emotional affair, I wonder how they would react to their man coming home and announcing that he's fallen in love with another woman, but not to be concerned about it because he hasn't had sex with her (yet..).  
 
Infidelity is infidelity, period.

RESPECT. I would never do anything to cause my partner to feel uncomfortable with any of my work related or friendship related relationships period. His happiness means the world to me and I feel that my happiness means the world to him. People who are truly happy and love and respect their spouse do not behave like this. A person who loves and respects you wouldn't put themselves in a situation where they need outside attention and emotional support from someone other than their spouse. I wish you all the best through this hard time. You deserve so much better.

Thelongandshortofit said "RESPECT. I would never do anything to cause my partner to feel uncomfortable with any of my work related or friendship related relationships period. His happiness means the world to me and I feel that my happiness means the world to him. People who are truly happy and love and respect their spouse do not behave like this. A person who loves and respects you wouldn't put themselves in a situation where they need outside attention and emotional support from someone other than their spouse. I wish you all the best through this hard time. You deserve so much better. "

The minute you voiced your concerns and feelings if she valued your feelings: should've been the time she made a change. Either stop this personal relationship and keep it strictly professional or change jobs. This should be a wake up call for her.

thx thelongandshortofit  
one would think that a spouse would see the red flag !  
but an easier route out is to blame it on my thyroid or vitamin deficiency ! Easier to blame than be responsible !

straightanswer said " voice your opinions   What would it mean too you if your spouse has and admits to having an emotional affair with their boss and states that the boss's family is their family and they are a grown up and that they have been faithfull to you and their boss ?   As well if a co-worker had sent a letter to your spouse warning them that they are playing in the field of infedelity and it is obvious and they feel it is a personal attack , would you recommend a lawyer ? Edited by admin, 2016-08-30 22:47:40. Reason: title"

no trust left, staying together for the "children" is totally wrong, they can "feel" what is going on.  
 
I would find any resource I could to get out and move on. Can't have a marriage and live in the same house as someone you can't trust. It will only affect your own health also.

straightanswer said "thx thelongandshortofit   one would think that a spouse would see the red flag !   but an easier route out is to blame it on my thyroid or vitamin deficiency ! Easier to blame than be responsible ! "

If she doesn't value your feelings or concerns. You've told her the relationship makes you uncomfortable and she blames you??? Maybe it's you that needs to make a change if she's not willing to see or understand what this is doing to you and your relationship. You deserve better and deep down you know it. I'm sorry you have to go through this and I truly hope it all works out for you. Be strong and know your worth.

thx to the longandshortofit and many others ! If all the conversation in the world doesnt ease the situation and i have been uncomfortable and she knows it and has made no attempt to help resolve then it is time to move on as yes it eventually affects one's health and well being !!  
After all a one sided relationship cant function in a two person house hold !

Both people in a relationship have to get their needs met