Discussions

Smilin said "A few posts here. True a lot of women are looking for that fictional character of tall/dark/handsome but reality is two people must connect and not everyone can have the fictional character they dream of, causing people to just settle now a days which is leading to many divorces like you mention. I agree "nice guys finish last" but that saying is true for women as well. Also agree with Eric, love is the hardest game one plays in life, for many different reasons and aspects. I''''m mid 30s single and believe if it''''s meant to be it will be. When you give up on the game of love that is when you settle, so keep your eyes open, you never know where you will meet "the one"     Edited by Smilin, 2016-09-04 19:14:07"

Tall, dark and handsome isn't fictional. I'm real and I exist. Just saying...

Lookandlearn said " I am tired of reading about how hard it is to meet women in Brandon, what does it take to meet a guy in this city??? I am a mid 40's female never married secure good job, my own home and my own life. Is that the problem I am to self sufficient or is it because I am no model and that is what guys around here seem to want?   I'm at a lose here, please don't bash but I have done the on line dating thing and again things go well until I need to send a pic then they fade into internet land never to be heard from again.   So, what gives men ??? Edited by admin, 2016-09-03 19:52:22. Reason: Title update"

Are you *sure* it's all about looks? If these dudes are disappearing, you never know what they're thinking.  
 
I confess I bailed on a potential online thing after pics were exchanged, but only because she was a dead ringer for my auntie, and I didn't really know how to walk it back.

Ok I'll try and keep this brief. (It's not going to be. Haha)  
 
Here the problem.  
 
It is not hard to meet people in Brandon. I'm married but have a few single male and female friends in their 30's who tell me the same stories all the time. I've also been out with them and seen it first hand. I'll share a typical scenario with you.  
(This has actually happened)  
My buddy is 31. He describes himself as an average looking guy. He goes out on Friday after work to a lounge in town with a couple of friends. Always sits at the bar as it's easier to socialize with other people instead of sitting at a table. There's two girls sitting at the bar also directly across from him and his friends.  
He strikes up a conversation with the two girls. Conversation bounces back and forth over the bar. They come and sit beside his group. After a couple of hours and a few drinks buddy and one of the girls decide to ditch the others and go back to his.  
TAKE NOTE LADIES  
men are weak. Offer it up on a plate and it's fairly likely it's going to happen. Anyway.  
All the things happen and the woman leaves early in the morning. These days nobody gives out a number you just look them up on Facebook, IG or add them to snap chat.  
The next day my friend looks her up on Facebook. She's got 7,000 friends. Every picture is a picture of her at the bar with groups of girls. Selfies with hardly any cloths on and hundreds of comments from guys about how hot she looks.  
This is when you realize the woman you just picked up sitting at the bar is not dating material.  
Now in this woman's defence. She has probably gone home in the morning thinking "great another douche bag that was only after one thing" but I refer you back to my note a little further up this post!!  
And this is not a new thing. Guys and girls have been "putting it about" for as long as I've been around but in a social media culture like we live in now it is to hard to hide that and it turns guys, and girls off. Girls look too easy and guys look like players.  
 
My advice is this.  
You don't have to go to the bar. I think hitting up Browns or the keg lounge or some place like that is a good social atmosphere to meet people and break the ice but there are other ways.  
Tinder wasn't a thing when I was single but I have friends who use it now and have used it in the past and found relationships from it.  
In my opinion THE KEY is not to give it all up the first day you meet someone. An eager/confident guy will try it on the first time he meets you. A decent guy will accept being knocked back and made to wait.  
my one friend who has just recently started dating had a rule. If he got it the first time he meets a girl he wouldn't date her. It might sound like a douche bag thing to do but he said it makes you wonder how many other guys the girl is meeting and sleeping with the first time she meets them and there was many times he would turn girls down who were offering it on a plate so it's not like he was just as bad for sleeping with every girl who offered it to him.  
So ladies. Don't give it up after a few drinks thinking that's what it takes to get a guy.  
And guys. Don't go out and sleep with every girl that offers it the first night you hang out.  
Brandon is small and people get/make names for themselves. I know guys who are labeled as players for going out and just nailing girls and I know of girls who are labeled for just sleeping with any guy that buys them a few drinks at the bar.  
 
Go out meet people. Use social media. Get to know someone. Don't sleep with them the first time you meet. A decent guy will wait (but not forever haha)  
 
Sorry I know that wasn't brief at all and in sure there's going to be Salem girls who are going to give me a hard time for what I've said but I swear what I'm saying is the BIGGEST problem for guys and girls finding decent DATABLE people these days.

one more thing.. said "Ok I'll try and keep this brief. (It's not going to be. Haha)     Here the problem.     It is not hard to meet people in Brandon. I'm married but have a few single male and female friends in their 30's who tell me the same stories all the time. I've also been out with them and seen it first hand. I'll share a typical scenario with you.   (This has actually happened)   My buddy is 31. He describes himself as an average looking guy. He goes out on Friday after work to a lounge in town with a couple of friends. Always sits at the bar as it's easier to socialize with other people instead of sitting at a table. There's two girls sitting at the bar also directly across from him and his friends.   He strikes up a conversation with the two girls. Conversation bounces back and forth over the bar. They come and sit beside his group. After a couple of hours and a few drinks buddy and one of the girls decide to ditch the others and go back to his.   TAKE NOTE LADIES   men are weak. Offer it up on a plate and it's fairly likely it's going to happen. Anyway.   All the things happen and the woman leaves early in the morning. These days nobody gives out a number you just look them up on Facebook, IG or add them to snap chat.   The next day my friend looks her up on Facebook. She's got 7,000 friends. Every picture is a picture of her at the bar with groups of girls. Selfies with hardly any cloths on and hundreds of comments from guys about how hot she looks.   This is when you realize the woman you just picked up sitting at the bar is not dating material.   Now in this woman's defence. She has probably gone home in the morning thinking "great another douche bag that was only after one thing" but I refer you back to my note a little further up this post!!   And this is not a new thing. Guys and girls have been "putting it about" for as long as I've been around but in a social media culture like we live in now it is to hard to hide that and it turns guys, and girls off. Girls look too easy and guys look like players.     My advice is this.   You don't have to go to the bar. I think hitting up Browns or the keg lounge or some place like that is a good social atmosphere to meet people and break the ice but there are other ways.   Tinder wasn't a thing when I was single but I have friends who use it now and have used it in the past and found relationships from it.   In my opinion THE KEY is not to give it all up the first day you meet someone. An eager/confident guy will try it on the first time he meets you. A decent guy will accept being knocked back and made to wait.   my one friend who has just recently started dating had a rule. If he got it the first time he meets a girl he wouldn't date her. It might sound like a douche bag thing to do but he said it makes you wonder how many other guys the girl is meeting and sleeping with the first time she meets them and there was many times he would turn girls down who were offering it on a plate so it's not like he was just as bad for sleeping with every girl who offered it to him.   So ladies. Don't give it up after a few drinks thinking that's what it takes to get a guy.   And guys. Don't go out and sleep with every girl that offers it the first night you hang out.   Brandon is small and people get/make names for themselves. I know guys who are labeled as players for going out and just nailing girls and I know of girls who are labeled for just sleeping with any guy that buys them a few drinks at the bar.     Go out meet people. Use social media. Get to know someone. Don't sleep with them the first time you meet. A decent guy will wait (but not forever haha)     Sorry I know that wasn't brief at all and in sure there's going to be Salem girls who are going to give me a hard time for what I've said but I swear what I'm saying is the BIGGEST problem for guys and girls finding decent DATABLE people these days. "

if they catch something awful or end up knocking a woman up?? Why do you want to sleep with someone that's been around the block and is still cruising the block. That says something about the person that is picking him or her up for a one night stand. It makes me ill..

But I''m not quite 30 yet and have given up on the whole finding a guy thing.  
 
I''ve focused on myself and pursuing my dreams for years. That "it''ll happen when you least expect it" is bull.  
 
Earlier this year I was chatting with someone. But he only wanted to screw around and "maybe it would turn into something more," he''d say. I decided not to meet up with him.  
 
A year ago I was talking to a guy who I had had a huge crush on and was friends with years ago. Saw him on POF looking for long term. I decided to go for it and chat with him. After a month or two he decided to stop talking to me because he "wasn''t good for me." Or some crap like that.  
 
I''ve talked and dated my fair share of men and I guess it''s just not meant to be for me.  
 
Edited by *enter name here*, 2016-09-05 00:02:02

I know this was brought up before on here and I think it could be discussed again, a singles or dating section here on ebrandon? I know there are pros and cons to it but it couldn't hurt to try? If it doesn't work out, Adam could always shut it down.. I have an account on POF and the girls on there have extremely high standards or are too picky.. I have to admit, I've turned girls down on there because they didn't have the same interests/hobbies as me.. Looks use to be a priority for me but after several failed relationships, I have learned from my past mistakes.. Looks aren't as important to me as they once were. I'm very outdoorsy, mid 30s, slightly overweight but workout and exercise regularly, don't have too many friends but I'm always up for anything... If your between 26 and 37.. Roughly decent shape, are up for anything and love the outdoors (hunting, fishing, quadding, camping, sledding, hiking, swimming, Bon fires, walking) and have a vehicle.. Shoot me a message/pm me.. I'd love to chat with you... At the same time, if you don't/can't make time to date, or if high maintanance, anger/controlling issues or just wants a baby daddy, please don't message me.. I'm an extremely nice, caring and loyal guy who just wants to start a new life, be happy and have fun...

Since I started this post let me tell you something that happened today. I had talked a couple of times with a guy on POF, he asked for a pic and I sent two. Within 30 seconds he blocked me - so there yah go. Thanks for proving my theory guy !!!!

That's happen to me too but with girls.., what's your name on POF?

TonightIsAWonderfulNight and I have blocked my account from public view after that.

I was the first one to post my picture with a little about me...so here's hoping this may work!?!

I find that hilarious liveandlearn. One guy blocks you and because of that you won't post a picture? You're how old.. You should realize by now you're not going to be everyone's type. You may not be his type so yes he blocked you, because when you're looking for a relationship why continue talking to someone you're not attracted to.  
Post a picture so that you don't waste time on the guy and have them block you, you can see if you're attracted to each other from the start.  
I've never understood why people don't post pictures in the first place on dating sites etc. I know that many people (including myself when I was on pof) don't message people back if they don't have a picture, because why would we want to be with someone so self conscious or worried about what other people think, plus there's too many creepy people on these sites.

I meant lookandlearn - my bad.

So many people don''''t post a photo because they don''''t want everyone recognizing them, also because they want a guy with substance. A guy who reads your profile and then messages you, might be worth talking to. A guy that looks at your photo and asks if you want to hook up - there are so many of those on POF that it''''s overwhelming.  
 
I''''ve had guys not read a single word of my profile thinking they are going to get somewhere. A lot of attractive women don''''t post photos. It does nothing but make them flee the site because they are overwhelmed with losers messaging them.  
 
Edited by crop, 2016-09-06 23:05:21

Exactly my point, they don't want people recognizing them. So they're scared of what other people think, yet we are all on the same site so can't make any judgement. Even if you don't post a picture, as soon as you message someone you should have pictures on your profile set to private so you can attach them to your first message, most likely getting more responses in the end. It will never make sense to me that people hide who they are.  
There are many profiles on pof, and a lot of them are very basic, don't say much about the person. It's much nicer to get to know each other through conversation than off of a profile. Which may be why some prefer not to read everything.  
As well it's generally very easy after a few minutes of talking to spot the men who only want one thing.  
I have girl friends who complain about never meeting a good guy. Yet they're the ones settling for the jerks and think for someone to like them they need to put out on the first date, or send them whatever they ask for which isn't the case.

I'm not just aiming this comment at the op.  
Women (and) men don't go out into rural areas to shop when they have dozens of stores on there doorstep. City/larger towns people tend only to look within the city.  
There is a whole wide world out here past the city limits.  
Yes. I'm rural and single and there is nothing I'd like more than to meet a nice rural/farm girl but the reality is they are few and far between. I would be completely open to dating a town/city girl because who knows, they may just turn out to be the love of my life.  
Opposites can attract.

Then post a photo here so we can all see you. :-)

I'm happily with someone I don't need to find a man.  
Plus I don't know how to add a photo from the app.

the best way to meet someone is in person. You can observe them in their surroundings and get a feel for them before they even know you might be interested. It doesn't matter how good looking someone is, if there isn't a connection it doesn't matter. Volunteer and join groups, sign up for things you are interested in. Maybe the love of your life will be associated with it too.

I find it hard to meet a guy as well.. i dont get it

Lookandlearn said "Since I started this post let me tell you something that happened today. I had talked a couple of times with a guy on POF, he asked for a pic and I sent two. Within 30 seconds he blocked me - so there yah go. Thanks for proving my theory guy !!!! "

I had the same thing happen to me right here on ebrandon. Was private messaging with guy, sent my pic/info and never heard from him again.

It is totally hard to meet men. I'm in my late twenties but I'm a single mom to one I work shift work which makes dating complicated as well and I have standards of how I think I should be treated so usually it goes awesome then bam treated horribly. If there was just sweet out going guy that wanted a best friend and see where it went that would be amazing but seems it's either jump in the sack or you're property.

I don''t mean to be a downer here but being in your mid forties and dating is different at this age then being in your mid twenties. I''m not saying that it isn't possible to meet someone it is but you have to change your expectations when you reach midlife and beyond. People in this age group come with baggage good or bad. Even if you have never married or raised a family living life comes with different experiences which makes you more set in your ways.  
 
Edited by winterstorm45, 2016-09-07 13:08:45

Sent u a pm bonjour Brandon

Lookandlearn said " I am tired of reading about how hard it is to meet women in Brandon, what does it take to meet a guy in this city??? I am a mid 40's female never married secure good job, my own home and my own life. Is that the problem I am to self sufficient or is it because I am no model and that is what guys around here seem to want?   I'm at a lose here, please don't bash but I have done the on line dating thing and again things go well until I need to send a pic then they fade into internet land never to be heard from again.   So, what gives men ??? Edited by admin, 2016-09-03 19:52:22. Reason: Title update"

the good guys are out there! I've come across many of them. I've even found one for myself, and its' been awesome!  
 
But I agree with some on here, both men and women have their issues about the dating scene...it's not easy! Not in the least...and yes both get tired of the same rituals over and over again! Who wouldn't. I had given up on the whole love and relationship thing, and then I started going to an adults coffee group! met lots of new people, had great conversations, and there was no pressure to find one of them to date! We have all been in the same boat, so it's great! the best part is, if you happen to hit it off with someone, then you do and it goes from there! I really suggest finding any of the many groups or organizations that have meet ups and go have a coffee!  
 
Good luck, it may take a while, but there is a good guy out there just for you!

Lookandlearn said " I am tired of reading about how hard it is to meet women in Brandon, what does it take to meet a guy in this city??? I am a mid 40's female never married secure good job, my own home and my own life. Is that the problem I am to self sufficient or is it because I am no model and that is what guys around here seem to want?   I'm at a lose here, please don't bash but I have done the on line dating thing and again things go well until I need to send a pic then they fade into internet land never to be heard from again.   So, what gives men ??? Edited by admin, 2016-09-03 19:52:22. Reason: Title update"

the good guys are out there! I've come across many of them. I've even found one for myself, and its' been awesome!  
 
But I agree with some on here, both men and women have their issues about the dating scene...it's not easy! Not in the least...and yes both get tired of the same rituals over and over again! Who wouldn't. I had given up on the whole love and relationship thing, and then I started going to an adults coffee group! met lots of new people, had great conversations, and there was no pressure to find one of them to date! We have all been in the same boat, so it's great! the best part is, if you happen to hit it off with someone, then you do and it goes from there! I really suggest finding any of the many groups or organizations that have meet ups and go have a coffee!  
 
Good luck, it may take a while, but there is a good guy out there just for you!

is actually kind of insulting. I am 39 and single, been that way since I was 24 and gave up dating to raise 3 kids by myself. No time to date. Now I am too shy and out of the "loop" to even know how to date. But by no means are we all players.

I have to admit that I have turned girls down on POF but I didn't block and ignore them... I told them straight up.. If you don't have a job or no ambition in life to get a career or a good paying job, if you don't take care of yourself ( you don't have to be a super fit athlete or skinny), if you like sitting at home doing nothing or playing video games, all these things I am not attracted to... Doesn't make me better than you or you less of a person.. The girl I want to date should be active, in decent shape, have a motor vehicle, want to get a good career, have good ethics, morals and values, be loyal.  
 
I've seen girls on here and POF who sit at home, no job, no car/vehicle, obese, unhealthy, slutty, the list goes on... And they wonder why guys treat them like crap or ignore them. And once more, I am not better than anyone and I'm not trying to insult anyone, just putting giving my view on things..

I just have to ask, why does the woman your looking for need to have a vehicle, some people have their act together and don't have a need for a vehicle, especially in the city.

don brown said "I just have to ask, why does the woman your looking for need to have a vehicle, some people have their act together and don't have a need for a vehicle, especially in the city. "

I was thinking the same thing.  
 
I would LIKE to meet a woman who rides a motorcycle but it wouldn't matter to me if she rode a unicycle as long as there was chemistry.  
 

Exactly, there has to be chemistry, but sometime it doesn't happen by looking at a picture, or not even with a single date, and sometimes, if people really want it to happen, a person has to maybe compromise themself just a bit.