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Excerpt from a Dog's Diary......  
 
 
 
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!  
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!  
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!  
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!  
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!  
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!  
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!  
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!  
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!  
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite  
thing!  
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!  
 
 
 
 
Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...  
 
 
 
Day 983 of my captivity...  
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little  
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while  
the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry  
nuggets.  
 
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly  
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to  
keep up my strength.  
 
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on  
the carpet.  
 
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body  
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into  
their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am  
capable of. However, they merely made condescending  
comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. pooper troopers.  
 
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices  
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the  
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises  
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was  
due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this  
means and how to use it to my advantage.  
 
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate  
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet  
as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but  
at the top of the stairs.  
 
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies  
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.  
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than  
willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!  
 
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him  
communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that  
 
he reports my every move. My captors have arranged  
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  
 
For now ...