Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1408
What pets write in their diaries..
10/13/2010 at 7:16 PM
Excerpt from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while
the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into
their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am
capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. pooper troopers.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet
as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but
at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than
willing to return. He is obviously brain damaged!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now ...