Discussions

even though I have found mine....I need to know why you are looking...is it a little project you are doing...a little ebrandon matchmaking? whats the details? dish it out..;-)

Tired of looking for something that doesn't exist and tired of feeling unwanted.

It's not a little project. It's my life. I am valuable and have a lot of love and respect give to a man that give love and respect in return. Something I don't think I will find.

and I'm sure someone will find you, that's usually how it happens. Good people attract good people.

send a PM back

You are the love of your lifetime! Give up on the idea of needing a man to want you, and you will discover a level of happiness you never knew existed. Just fall in love with yourself. Give yourself the love and respect you deserve! Spend your time thinking about YOUR wants and YOUR goals, instead of thinking about someone else. Do things just for you. Just because you want to.  
 
The coolest part is, you will get to a point where you are so happy, you wouldn't dare let a man ruin that happiness... and all of a sudden you have a standard that men will have to live up to... and the right one will  
 
It works. I promise.

with Ahvah, I believe there is no better feeling than when your soulmate truly loves you. I tried the self love self respect route and all I felt was alone, sure I loved myself, but I was still lonely.

I agree with you except the standards of men are not nearly comparable to the stand up men of 20-30 years ago...and if they are, they are rare... Unfortunately most are out for themselves and not building a relationship and being a powerteam together...sad..

what you want is unattainable. Woman want to be wanted, they want the magic of a perfectly matched soul to spend the rest of their life...blissfully happy and in tune with each other. Men want someone to feed them, clean up after them, watch sports with and sleep with them. And if something shiny and new catches their eye its pretty easy for them to move on.

is looking for that person that you "can't breathe without". And I'm agreeing with her that until you find that person, life is not complete.

"love yourself, but not TOO much, otherwise you become self centered". Save most of your love for your soulmate.

There's a huge difference between "needing" and "wanting" someone in your life. I've been single long enough to know without any doubt that I don't need a man. Do I want one? Yes, very much.  
 
Dating is VERY disheartening and is certainly not for the weak of heart. I am extremely discouraged and have wanted to give up on finding someone many many times.  
 
I have spent the last several years "finding myself" and learning to love myself and there's still no one by my side.  
 
If it's meant to happen it'll happen and if it's not then it won't. I have trouble believing that I'm meant to be alone, however if that's what is in the cards for me then I'll be okay.  
 
With all that being said, I KNOW I am worthy of love and I KNOW that I have a lot to offer. It's just a matter of finding him! Or not...

You are the type of person that needs a mother not a soulmate. Maybe personalities like yours are a big reason why women think there is no one out there for them, if that's all that crosses their path.

shaggy said "You are the type of person that needs a mother not a soulmate. Maybe personalities like yours are a big reason why women think there is no one out there for them, if that's all that crosses their path. "

Oh my...you are so correct! This guy is looking for a mother, not a partner!

Ahvah said "You are the love of your lifetime! Give up on the idea of needing a man to want you, and you will discover a level of happiness you never knew existed. Just fall in love with yourself. Give yourself the love and respect you deserve! Spend your time thinking about YOUR wants and YOUR goals, instead of thinking about someone else. Do things just for you. Just because you want to.     The coolest part is, you will get to a point where you are so happy, you wouldn't dare let a man ruin that happiness... and all of a sudden you have a standard that men will have to live up to... and the right one will     It works. I promise. "

Read "Finding your life's purpose" by Eckhart Tolle.  
 
Rely on yourself!!!

Jaxon said "what you want is unattainable. Woman want to be wanted, they want the magic of a perfectly matched soul to spend the rest of their life...blissfully happy and in tune with each other. Men want someone to feed them, clean up after them, watch sports with and sleep with them. And if something shiny and new catches their eye its pretty easy for them to move on. "

WHAT! You will never be on my list thinking this way. Women are not your service maids

I agree so much with Elmer. That is a fantastic book, as is Dr. Wayne Dyers (amazon is selling e-books at a huge discounted price and their is a lot of free info on the web since he just passed). Another good book is Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue. You have to love and respect yourself. I found this out after over 18 years of being unhappy. Went to counselling and have found someone that I love to be with. My problem is insecurity which always seems to creep up on me. And feeling not good enough. You have to be positive about yourself and things will just happen. And by the way, I love to cook for him (but he likes cooking too so we do a lot together), he is very tidy so I don't have to clean up after him and hey I never was into sports but I love his hockey passion,we enjoy watching together (and eventhough I don't know players etc., I actually like watching it with him).

Unfortunately movies, songs and books have made what you think is a perfect relationship blown way out of proportion. Those feelings can be pretty real but both have to work at it and real life issues have to be communicated and dealt with.

I assumed by my words that it would be obvious that I am a woman. Lol and that my description of what a man wants is only based on my relationship experience.

What I said I stand by. Some men make a woman feel like a convenience not a partner. I don't believe as humans we are meant to be alone. There are those rare exceptions however who seem to be perfectly happy to be alone. Who do they share special moments, funny, sad, whatever the case? My opinion. I apologize Jaxson if I offended.

'Finding True Love' by Daphne Rose Kingma.

I really feel alone. More than ever.

Have just wasted everyone's time. I am useless and worthless to anyone.

What do you mean?? You are certainly NOT useless or worthless, and you have not wasted any of our time.  
I read the book that I suggested, and found it helpful so have recommended it to others. I did meet the love of my life after reading it.

get a pet, volunteer, work on loving yourself and choosing happiness. Happy people radiate it and others are attracted to it. Its all found in the book The Secret. Its universal...try reading it and you will understand. We attract what we think and if we think we are worthless that is what comes back to us.  
 
And obviously anyone on here probably has the time to waste, so that's not an issue. wink wink  
 
Edited by Jaxon, 2015-09-18 14:33:55

Have read until I can't read anymore. I am sorry but I believe I am meant to be alone with my pets. Sometimes they don't even care if I am around. I glad all of the books and reading has worked for you. I have been in too many shitty relationships and have no reason to believe that anyone good or bad would want me for anything other than a short time. I am disposable.

Time is up and my chances are over. I try to think positively and continue to be alone. I have no more "fight" in me. There is something wrong with me that puts roadblocks up between me and happiness.

Sounds like you could benefit from talking to a counselor. They can really open your eyes to the "big picture" of your life. Like the fact that your worth and value have nothing to do with your relationship status or what the people on eBrandon think of you.  
 
Give it a try! If you can't find a counselor, check with your employer benefits program or your doctor. They can help you find one at little to no cost

shaggy said "Have just wasted everyone's time. I am useless and worthless to anyone. "

Shaggy, I really feel for you. I myself have felt the same but just hearing you saying this stuff about yourself reads that you don't love yourself. It is a long tough road but truthfully you need to find out what will make you positive about yourself and life. Gratitude is a good beginning point. Have you read the series of the Secret books. It is the 3rd book I believe that focuses a lot more on gratitude. You need to be thankful of what you have and believe in yourself. Don't focus on what you don't have (especially a partner). If you continue to believe that you are useless and worthless that is what you are brining to yourself. You are a fantastic person and deserve an abundant life of love and happiness.