Discussions

Is there such a thing in Manitoba, that when you marry either party can put some conditions and if they agree upon them, they have to obey what was on the agreement? Conditions could be while they are married or in case they will separate and divorce.  

can get anything drawn up in a contract / prenup , it's weather your foolish enough to sign it or not.  
 

How is protecting yourself and your assets foolish?

I do not think it is foolish, but it always hits me as funny.  
 
"Lets get this or that drawn up so when we divorce all will be in order"  
 
 
I know in this day and age you do need some guarantee's.

Brenda said "I do not think it is foolish, but it always hits me as funny.     "Lets get this or that drawn up so when we divorce all will be in order"       I know in this day and age you do need some guarantee's. "

No one plans to be in a car accident but you put your seatbelt on to protect yourself, right?  
 
Hope for the best but plan for the worst!

Maybe my view on marriage is wrong...but... I would never get married to someone I "might someday" divorce, let alone writing up am agreement for it... Kinda defeats the purpose of "till death due is part". Many years ago my husband and I agreed to stick together, and to never divorce... I can't think a prenup would help the cause as it seems like people aren't wanting to put in 100% of themselves... And if you both aren't giving 100% of yourselves... Well...then that's not marriage... 100% on both sides is the only way for it to work.... It's a hard walk, but if it was easy, everyone would do it... Which is clearly not the case now days.... Oh well, to each their own... I suppose... Maybe I should keep my old fashioned "marriage is a forever commitment" thoughts to myself...

Family4ever said "Maybe my view on marriage is wrong...but... I would never get married to someone I "might someday" divorce, let alone writing up am agreement for it... Kinda defeats the purpose of "till death due is part". Many years ago my husband and I agreed to stick together, and to never divorce... I can't think a prenup would help the cause as it seems like people aren't wanting to put in 100% of themselves... And if you both aren't giving 100% of yourselves... Well...then that's not marriage... 100% on both sides is the only way for it to work.... It's a hard walk, but if it was easy, everyone would do it... Which is clearly not the case now days.... Oh well, to each their own... I suppose... Maybe I should keep my old fashioned "marriage is a forever commitment" thoughts to myself... "

Another old fashioned one here as well. Would not have married my husband if I felt I needed to protect myself in any way. I never understood things like living together before you get married to see if it will work or not, or signing a prenup because you don't want that person to get anything from you if you should divorce. This is why divorce rates are so high these days. Guaranteed you will find something wrong with your partner if you live together before you are married, and if you have the "need to test" mentality, it will never work. If you feel you need to be separate people through a prenup, then you will never be able to make the true commitment that marriage really is.  
 
My marriage has gone through lots of ups and downs, and there have been things in our lives that would cause a lot of people to just give up and divorce, thinking they could be happier with someone else. We made a forever commitment to each other though, and the reality is that these things will happen in any relationship.

Marry someone with similar education and income as yourself or in other words within your own social-economic class and you shouldn't need a prenumptial agreement.  
 
Marriage is a finanial merger as much as anything else.  
 

I'm both for and against.  
 
I think a pre-nup that said something like: any assets belonging to each party before cohabitation remains the owner upon dissolution of the parties. But assets acquired while cohabiting (current and going forward) are to be split evenly.  
 
Another thing in a prenup/Cohab is whether they can seek spousal support. Sometimes parties don't want this, however you can put something in this that states they cannot go after for spousal support unless there one becomes physically/mentally disabled.  
 
Sometimes people put a clause in there that states that it becomes null and void once children are born.  
 
I don't think You can't put things such as if one cheats then this or that.  
You also cannot put that one won't have to pay child support.  
 
A lot of people do these up when one party has a large family inheritance also. A spouse is not entitled to inheritance upon a break up typically, unless the money was put into a family asset, such as a down payment on a house, a join bank account etc.  
 
Also if the one party own a business, without a pre-nup, the other party is entitled to half upon dissolution of the marriage without an agreement. This a huge reason why a pre-nup would be a good idea. However, the whole dynamics change once children are involved.  
 
Message me if you'd like more info. I can also discuss in more depth if you like  

Talk to a lawyer.  
And convince your spouse to agree

Deb1 said "Is there such a thing in Manitoba, that when you marry either party can put some conditions and if they agree upon them, they have to obey what was on the agreement? Conditions could be while they are married or in case they will separate and divorce.   "

If you are older adults with a host of assets of your own (e.g. farm, house, camper, cottage) and you have your own children, who may already have kids of their own, and there are certain things that you want to ensure stay in your side of the family, it makes perfect sense. It is not about distrust, it is insurance for them. A loving partner would whole heartedly agree.  

hisluvmonkey said "    Deb1 said "Is there such a thing in Manitoba, that when you marry either party can put some conditions and if they agree upon them, they have to obey what was on the agreement? Conditions could be while they are married or in case they will separate and divorce.   " If you are older adults with a host of assets of your own (e.g. farm, house, camper, cottage) and you have your own children, who may already have kids of their own, and there are certain things that you want to ensure stay in your side of the family, it makes perfect sense. It is not about distrust, it is insurance for them. A loving partner would whole heartedly agree.   "

and along with a well-drafted will, hopefully will prevent squabbling amongst the children when one of them passes or if they separate.

Viv said "How is protecting yourself and your assets foolish? "

Protecting your assets isn't foolish at all, putting in writing you have to obey certain rules or else I will divorce you is foolish to sign is.

hisluvmonkey said "    Deb1 said "Is there such a thing in Manitoba, that when you marry either party can put some conditions and if they agree upon them, they have to obey what was on the agreement? Conditions could be while they are married or in case they will separate and divorce.   " If you are older adults with a host of assets of your own (e.g. farm, house, camper, cottage) and you have your own children, who may already have kids of their own, and there are certain things that you want to ensure stay in your side of the family, it makes perfect sense. It is not about distrust, it is insurance for them. A loving partner would whole heartedly agree.   "

Especially if previous children or a family heirloom.  

My husband and I have worked our butts off farming our land and acquiring more land so we can live comfortably with our now older children farming with us. I would hate to see one of my kids get married, then divorced and have to give up half that land to provide for their now ex-spouse. I have seen too many people have to sell their farms and assets to provide for other in divorce. Therefore I would want a prenup agreement. It is like taking out insurance in case your house burns...you pay for it every yr and hope it never happens but you have insurance if tragedy does strike. So I look at this as another type of insurance. Of course assets made after marriage should be divided, just not those acquired before!

new here said "My husband and I have worked our butts off farming our land and acquiring more land so we can live comfortably with our now older children farming with us. I would hate to see one of my kids get married, then divorced and have to give up half that land to provide for their now ex-spouse. I have seen too many people have to sell their farms and assets to provide for other in divorce. Therefore I would want a prenup agreement. It is like taking out insurance in case your house burns...you pay for it every yr and hope it never happens but you have insurance if tragedy does strike. So I look at this as another type of insurance. Of course assets made after marriage should be divided, just not those acquired before! "

altho im an old fashioned girl when it comes to marriage ideals, i agree with prenups for reasons like you suggested , the one down side to your suggestion tho, is that you are alienating the spouse a bit, as they are never really considered part of "your" family. I did receive a small inheritance tho and my dad did worry about my husband divorcing and taking all of my families hard work but after kids came around he said well the kids would get it anyway and he figured once hubby made it past the 10 year mark he deserved a share anyway...especially if the work the farm, take out loans ect too

a cohabitation agreement if you plan to just live together. There is also a prenuptial you can have drawn up as an agreement.

Having gone through a recent separation/ divorce, I would strongly recommend a prenup whether getting married or simply moving in together. After six months of cohabiting, a common law partner has basically the same rights to walk away with half of everything as a legal spouse. Even more important if there is any type of business involved.

Having everything out in the open beforehand is sometimes seen as unromantic, or pessimistic, but to me it's more realistic.  
 
Just because you have the conditions set out for how things are expected to unfold, and have plans in case of divorce,that doesn't mean it's going to become some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy and come true.  
 
It seems wise to get everything out on the table beforehand, and it will only add to the security of the union, not detract from it.  
 
Two securely attached adults should be able to talk about things openly.

Your statement: "After six months of cohabiting, a common law partner has basically the same rights to walk away with half of everything as a legal spouse. Even more important if there is any type of business involved."  
 
This is simply not true. A spouse is not even considered common law after 6 months. You are not entitled to half the assets until the 3 year mark. (But you are entitled to have the assets acquired together after 1 year if you have a child together. But still 3 years to take your spouse for half of everything)

If you do up a pre-nup, you are required to disclose all your assets and their value to your partner. If you keep it a secret, you risk the agreement becoming void

blankinside said "Your statement: "After six months of cohabiting, a common law partner has basically the same rights to walk away with half of everything as a legal spouse. Even more important if there is any type of business involved."     This is simply not true. A spouse is not even considered common law after 6 months. You are not entitled to half the assets until the 3 year mark. (But you are entitled to have the assets acquired together after 1 year if you have a child together. But still 3 years to take your spouse for half of everything) "

... I'm not sure that's entirely true.  
 
For income tax purposes, you're common-law after 1 year of cohabitation (or the date you became the parent to the other's child, whichever is earlier). You are then entitled and obligated to file that way, and you can claim all the same stuff as married and your incomes are considered together for credits.  
 
For things like pension and CPP, it's 1 year of cohabitation.  
 
Under Manitoba law, the 3 year cohabitation clause takes effect for things like spousal support and property rights (unless you register your relationship earlier or you have a child together). Unregistered common-law relationships that have existed for at least 3 years must be separated for 3 years to enact that part of the legislation (registered unions only need to wait a year).  
 
For welfare, it can be as little as 3 months cohabitation, depending on your situation.  
 
So there are no hard and fast rules about when you're considered "common-law" under the law, as each jurisdiction and legislation can define it differently.

He was referring to property division, which is 3 years of cohabitation. So yes, this was, in fact, entirely true.

is exactly what it implies "old"! welcome to the "new" world where everything is a lot more complex, laws are different,property values are much more than they once were, the value of a marriage isn't what it once stood for and divorce settlements seem to be far more one sided in certain circumstances. imho.

MREJ said "Having gone through a recent separation/ divorce, I would strongly recommend a prenup whether getting married or simply moving in together. After six months of cohabiting, a common law partner has basically the same rights to walk away with half of everything as a legal spouse. Even more important if there is any type of business involved. "

I am just wondering where you get your facts from??? Where do you see that it takes 6 months of cohabitating, then the common law partner has basically the same rights???? Can you please educate me on this???

whatthewhat said "    MREJ said "Having gone through a recent separation/ divorce, I would strongly recommend a prenup whether getting married or simply moving in together. After six months of cohabiting, a common law partner has basically the same rights to walk away with half of everything as a legal spouse. Even more important if there is any type of business involved. " I am just wondering where you get your facts from??? Where do you see that it takes 6 months of cohabitating, then the common law partner has basically the same rights???? Can you please educate me on this??? "

I think that the old rules on common law relationships had certain stipulations for couples that had lived together for 6 months.  
 
It was in 2004 or around there that the laws applying to common law relationships were changed.

what ever happened to equality in a relationship? Everyone talks about protecting what was theirs from before but if all of your forefathers and mothers thought the same way, you may not have anything to protect. Pre-nups are selfish and undermining to relationships. Sounds more like planning for the best and hoping for the worst instead of the other way around. "New here" says she worked her butt off on the farm, I wonder if SHE has a pre-nup?

That 70's guy said "what ever happened to equality in a relationship? Everyone talks about protecting what was theirs from before but if all of your forefathers and mothers thought the same way, you may not have anything to protect. Pre-nups are selfish and undermining to relationships. Sounds more like planning for the best and hoping for the worst instead of the other way around. "New here" says she worked her butt off on the farm, I wonder if SHE has a pre-nup? "

Nothing wrong with protecting yourself. What if a successful business man or woman enters into a relationship....there are times when people come together under the "love is blind" mentality and rush into things not thinking clear. Should that other person be entitled to half of what the other worked hard for? If one reaps the rewards of the others success why should that continue if something goes south and they split? What exactly did the less fortunate put in to be entitled to previous riches?

Big Mamma said "can get anything drawn up in a contract / prenup , it's weather your foolish enough to sign it or not.     "

I am not really sure what would make a pre-nup "foolish". I mean, if it's written fairly and a lawyer for both parties goes over it, wouldn't it be a good idea to have one drafted and signed?  
 
(This post has been strictly reviewed by the writer, and it conforms with the ebrandon terms of service. Its states facts relevant to the topic at hand, mentions no names and does not slander other individuals. Questions, comments, queries, concerns or editing suggestions should be made to the writer. Have a good day)  
 
Edited by IMO, 2016-04-05 13:36:23